My date asked me to be his girlfriend after 1 week, is this too much too soon?

[nhocloverock]

I have just moved to a new country (different continent!). I met this guy from an online dating app and we have been seeing each other constantly (no physical stuff, he's very polite). After 1 week, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was taken by surprise as it was way too soon so I said I would need more time. He was very understanding and said he would wait. He has been travelling back and forth just to see me because I live outside of the city.

Is it normal for a guy to want to make a relationship official that quick? He already hinted that his parents would love me and asked about my parents' preferences haha. I find it pretty cute but weird in a way, don't want to make a decision when I'm not 100% sure about it. He said he is not seeing anyone else and wanting to prove to me that he is boyfriend material, it made me feel bad so I stopped talking to other people on the dating app. It already seems pretty exclusive and scares me a little. What would be best to do now?

Updates

+1 y

I'm 29 and he's 32. Just in case age matters :)

[Cerate]

Sorry I'm a year late xD

Your situation is very similar to mine: my date asked me to be his girlfriend after 1 week of getting to know each other through a dating app

TBH, it really depends on what you feel comfortable with. I was taken aback when he wants to make things official. But I decided to give him a YES, because in that 1 week, we were very clear with what type of partner we were looking for, and we are clear to each other that we only focus on dating one person at a time (if it doesn't work out, then we'll install back the dating app and look for other potentials), and we are clear that we are being serious and would love to get to know each other deeper. Also, he gives me a deep sense of security. I do feel anxious when he replies slowly/little, not because I'm suspecting him of doing sth behind my back, but afraid that something wrong happened to him (which was true; he was really sick for 2 days, and after that, he went back to normal).

So to me, it doesn't matter whether I receive the girlfriend title early or later, because we are ONLY seeing each other.

[Ambizzlebear]

Honestly it depends on how you feel about him. A lot of people get connected really easily like me and my boyfriend. Every relationship is going to be different but if you want to wait and take your time you should. Always communicate to make things easier on both of you and tell him if you don't feel comfortable with meeting his parents and friends yet. That age difference isn't that big so I wouldn't matter about it to much.

[nhocloverock]

Not sure yet. I was in a relationship without a title for nearly a year. The title talk came too early so it freaked me out lol

[Ambizzlebear]

It is fine to feel scared about that stuff. Titles is how others judge you but you should worry about how you two look at each other. And that can take more time than a week. ^^

[nhocloverock]

Just wondering if he's serious about it or he's just desperate haha

[Ambizzlebear]

You will see that more over time. If he is desperate than you will tell that in his attitude towards you in the relationship or the time it takes to start it. But if that is your biggest concern you can wait. Like I said about my boyfriend (I think I said it) we started dating in about 2 weeks. And now he moved 2 and a half hours away and we still make it work and we still love each other. But we communicate a lot. Just try talking to him and try and learn more about him and his mental, and phycological state.

[nhocloverock]

He's not exactly my type as he seems to be a proper family man and I only dated "bad boys" for some reasons. However he's super nice and it makes me wonder if I should give it a chance. But I don't want to waste his time if later on I don't think he's a good match for me. You think I should just give it a go anyway?

[Ambizzlebear]

I don't think that the dating type of "bad boy" is a phase. I think that is just the type of guy you want because mentally we go though a process of he is rough and willing to fight (usually for me). But if you never have really tried any other type of person you don't know how good they can be too you. If he is nice and good and willing to wait for you, I think you can try when you are ready with him. Make sure he knows going in though you use to perfer bad boys. Like i said communication is 100% important. It isn't just for the people dating but for friends as well.

[nhocloverock]

Yea I told him about my previous relationships. He did say if he's too pushy then tell him. I just don't want to waste his time as I can see how much he wants to settle and start a family. Ughh.

[Ambizzlebear]

Tell him you don't want to waste his time then. At the same time say you want to stay friends and if you get to the point where you do think it can work go ahead and say so. If not, nothing gained nothing lost.

[iskg679]

That is very unusual. I have never wanted to make a relationship official that soon because I need enough time to get to know the woman I am with. If I am in a relationship, I am going to put all of my effort and time into that relationship to build the intimacy in that relationship. I can't determine if that is worth doing after only a week of talking to a woman.

[nhocloverock]

That's what I thought but he already asked, and he's not pushing for physical contacts nor sex so I wonder what to do lol. Just make him wait for months? :D

[iskg679]

Don't make him wait for months because you don't want to play games with him. Ask yourself whether or not you see yourself in a relationship with him based on his characteristics. Do you feel like you have gotten to know him enough in a week?

[nhocloverock]

I dont want to play games but I don't know when I will be ready. He's a nice guy but generally I take time to get to know the person before making anything official. Plus I did most of the talking on dates so it doesn't really help.

[iskg679]

Then take your time. If it takes months for you to feel comfortable, then he will have to accept it. It's your decision as well. If he truly wants to be in a relationship with you, then he will wait because I waited for one year for one of my ex girlfriends before we had sex for the first time. We made our relationship official after around four months of dating.

[nhocloverock]

Wow, waiting one year, that's a real commitment. I guess he will have to wait then ;) thanks

[coolbreeze]

That is way to fast. He wants you to be his girlfriend so that way you don't talk or date other guys.

[nhocloverock]

I stopped talking/dating other guys for now but i'm wondering if i would miss out :D. It's too soon for me to decide on this guy.

[coolbreeze]

True maybe you might miss out. But I feel their is no rush. On dating sites you would have hundreds of emails to read. lol. You can be very picky and selective about which guy to date and talk to.😃. The guy I guess was happy and very eagar to date you. I do agree you need more time to get to know this guy more and figure him out. It's hard to fully no somebody in a weeks time.

[nhocloverock]

What would be an appropriate time to decide? or for as long as it takes?

[coolbreeze]

It depends. How long do you normally wait before dating a guy? Most girls tell me maybe two to three months to start dating a new guy or even be in a relationship. Even four to six months. I think whenever you feel ready and not pressured to date. Guy's like to rush for a lot of reasons. He doesn't want another guy to take you away from him. He probably wants sex to. If he wants to date you like a boyfriend girlfriend relationship type of thing. Then he needs to take you and do stuff with you. Maybe lunch, dinner dates. Movie dates. Activity dates like bowling, playing pool, going to beach park etc. He has to show you to he is interested in getting to know you better and not rush.

[beejoe]

I think it's ok. I met my fiance online and we started dating right away.. we been together 2 years and have a great relationship

[nhocloverock]

I have no problem with "dating", just the title stuff. Did you ask her to be your girlfriend right away?

[Tarang29]

Maybe or maybe not depends on the bond you both share

[jungle954]

Are u comfortable with that choice?

[nhocloverock]

I haven't chosen anything?

[jungle954]

Well you better choose wisely & a timely matter?

[Skali9119Liska]

A bit yeah but it depends

[laughinglad999]

you both need to wait

[iSpace]

It depends on what you want but its okay.

[Penelope_]

Way too much lol

[outside_Toronto]

Yea... too soon