What the Hell has happened to men?

Question

So here's a girl asking men a question? What the hell has happened to you in the last generation? One generation ago, out fathers, when they took a girl out they looked SHARP. Clean shaven, nice haircut, crisp white shirt, a tie, jacket and shined leather shoes. They put out some effort to compliment the appearance of their date. Comfort is not a factor given that the woman was in heels and hose and she had spent a lot of time on her appearance.

Good example last night, dinner in a pretty nice but not upscale restaurant. The next table over, young lady in a LBD, heels, hair in a prim bun, looking really nice. The guy she is with is wearing cargo shorts and flip flops. He does not look like he bothered to shave and he needed a haircut weeks ago. And to top it off, he was wearing a ball cap- to dinner with a lady. Why she was even out with him. let alone sharing a dinner table with some goofas is beyond me.

Whats happened guys? Where's your sense of personal pride? Don't you enjoy looking good any more? I'm glad I'm older because the likelihood is that the men in my life will be old school- just what I like.

AmerRestInit · Accepted Answer

Honestly, we just gave up on relationships and women. We've seen articles written by girls bragging about using guys they know they have no interest in to get free dinners, dated girl more enamored with her cell phone than her company, seen our fathers thrown out in favor of a string of newer models, watched our friends and brothers have their kids held hostage for child support and then used as weapons to emotionally abuse them, and all of this while we've been told that we are dangerous, violent rapists and patriarchal oppressors, just like our fathers and grandfathers who did bother to dress up and open doors. We don't want to dress up and we don't want to pay for dinner because we know that it leads either nowhere or to a marriage with a 60% female infidelity rate and a 65% divorce rate where women file 70% of divorces and 52% of those are filed for no other reason than the woman just getting bored and needing to "find herself" on alimony Eat, Pray, Love style. In short, feminism killed the noble spirit of men, and I have no idea how to fix it. We just don't look at women the same way anymore, and it is getting worse. It's not just men not dressing up, or men preferring a Netflix and chill hookup culture to dating, courtship, romance and marriage. We aren't going to college. We aren't chasing careers over gigs. We aren't buying homes. We aren't getting married. We aren't having kids. There are even groups like MGTOW springing up now. Honestly, the whole thing reminds me of the end stages of the mouse utopia experiment where the mice all committed what was essentially mass suicide. Society runs on trust and respect above all else, and those are dead in the modern age. That spells bad news for more than just girls looking for a sharp dressed man. We are in the end stages of western civilization. My advice? Learn Arabic and buy a burka, because they are already taking over Europe and Canada, and they have both a strong marriage system and high fertility rates. As westerners die out, we will be replaced. Sorry if that's a little long winded and depressing, but I tried to answer as best as I could.

RedThread · Accepted Answer

I'm way too casual to get all dressed up for a simple meal. Hell I can make my own bloody meal for less effort.

CountessSarah · Accepted Answer

I think cause guys got sick of the same handful of smart dress options for themselves.
Women have so much more variety in what they can wear for any number of looks, casual, smart, formal, etc all have so many different looks within them.
If you're a guy, what options do you have? The Asker said it herself - Formal is a suit. Guy fashion is so specific everyone reading has already pictured in their mind, the only option guys have available f they want to look formal.
Male fashion sucks - you either wear what everyone else does and get made fun of for looking like a dork in your little suit, or you wear anything else and people look at you weird. No wonder guys gave up.

ChronicThinker · Accepted Answer

Maybe she's cool as shit and she's into guys who are chill, why does it matter to you? You aren't feeding him, fucking him, or paying his bills, so it doesn't really matter what you think.

Now, as to WHY people do this now? My assumption is that we live in a generation where we're all "self love, who cares, etc, etc."

Like, my man dresses nice but I always out-dress him. It doesn't bother me, I personally think a dude looks hotter in jeans and a leather jacket over some prissy suit anyway.

I don't know where I was going with this tbh.

OldSchool_Metalhead · Accepted Answer

tbh i'd rather date a guy in jeans sneakers and t-shirt and long hair than be so sharp. not that im against sharpness though. people have their preferences, some (like you) prefer old school type guys that are sharp. others don't care as much. I wouldn't want my date to be so worried about being totally sharp because I would prefer seeing how the guy really is instead of dressing only how he would for a date.

coachTanthony · Answer

Men who want a serious relationship will show some effort. The ones who don't will be like the one you saw at the restaurant. How funny that chicks always go for the ball cap guy! Why do women not have the standards from yesteryear? Goes both ways!

Zefram · Answer

Okay lady just because you saw some fuckhead a table over from you doesn't mean you have free reign to critizice the whole fuckin' male gender for being douchebags.
I saw a chick wearing a slutty dress the other day, are all women now sluts?
I worked sales for a few years, run my startup company now.
Amd appearance is definitely everything to me. When I was in sales if my clients saw a hobo walking into their offices they'd fucking eject me in a heartbeat and have security on my ass faster than I could clench.
Blazer, tie, dress shirt, even the smallest details of my funny tie clips like my sunglasses tie clip or my smoke pipe tie clip make all the difference.
Although typically if I'm out in casual wear I'll eschew the tie and blazer for my leather jacket. But point remains.
I can barely fucking grow a beard to begin with but when I do shave, I use aftershave, opens the pores right up and clears them out and softens and smooths the skin. Neatly trimmed nails and a well-parted hairline (though my hair is a bit longer than average, usually gets messed up in a day) and I'm ready to go.

Now quit bitchin' about my fuckin' gender, yours isn't perfect either damnit.

RobLovesDemi · Answer

You know what happened your babyboomer generation screwed up my generation and mine after have to clean up the messes your generation created especially pushing radical feminazi’s down women and men’s throats burdening our society with your crap. Your generation pushing feminism so much that women dont care how they treat guys making guys in return not care how we treat them. So if you want to point fingers i can gladly point all day as to what kind of waste your babyboomer generation was on our society. Its to bad your generations parents didn't have the sense to smack the hell out of all of yous and wake yous all up but they were to busy fighting in real wars which actually meant something while your generation was to busy getting stoned and high on acid trips and weed and lsd. So if you want to question my generation and the ones after me ill be more than glad to call your generation out on all the sh*t your generation f*cked up on... by the way this coming from a 40 year old not some punk 20 year old kid which is why i dont take crap from your rotten baby boomer generation

Anonymous · Answer

This question can go both ways. What the Hell happened to women?

Women now days don't act like ladies anymore. They use to have standards and morals where they didn't sleep around so much. They use to want to be good wives and take a lead in raising kids and make a house a home. They use to know that a respectable lady treats her man with respect and doesn't look down on him or do things to undermine him.

Sure some women are still like this, same as how some men are still the way you described. But a vast majority aren't.

Women now days love to sleep around and most by old standards are sluts. Women let being good wives, mothers and building a home take a back seat to their careers. Women now days treat men with very little respect as what they once did. A woman will screw a man over and look down upon him, walk over him and take advantage of him. Sometimes just because she can and it's fun for her.

So you ask what the Hell happened to men? I assume it's the same thing that happened to women. Or possibly a byproduct of what happened to women. Why should men put an effort into looking clean and sharp for a woman, pay her compliments and put an effort into their dates when honestly what they get in return is no where near the same value as that? Especially if the woman is most likely going to still give it up to them in the end anyway. Their date is no catch herself.

The times are changing and I agree with you they aren't for the better. But it's not just men at fault here. Women are just as bad and to blame. They are just as undesirable as men now compared to men and women of the past.

Chiper91 · Answer

After reading your story, a couple questions came to my mind.
What makes you think they are on a date (because that is what I understood from your story)? Maybe they are just casually having dinner and have been together for years where first impressions are long passed. Maybe he came straight from work while she had time to dress up at home?
Finally, just because you saw one guy like that (or even a few more like that), that does not mean that all men are like that.
But let's say it was a date. Perhaps, that particular man was not raised in a family where dressing up was emphasized. After all, men in general are less socialized into following fashion and dressing super fancy. Maybe he had low self esteem and does not feel he deserves to look nice. Maybe he did not have enough money to dress as nice. There could more reasons but seriously not all men are like that.
Finally, maybe he was just testing her to see if she like him beyond his looks? Maybe he has a killed personality etc.
I am not making any excuses but there could be numerous reasons why he was dressed the way he was.

Nades · Answer

Because honestly it’s not even worth it anymore. Half the time only wants attention and an ego boost. We men are supposed to figure out what signs you are giving us for us to approach? Even if it is the right sign and you ask the girl out she just ends up denying unless you actually get lucky and she was actually interested rather than getting an ego boost. Women are naturally good at flirting and sending signs. Men can never understand those signs. The guy ends up approaching and the girl whines and pretty much says he’s only looking to bang. There’s never really a way to tell. Putting in the effort to ask a girl out is one thing. But if you get rejected, the girl gets an ego boost and the guy is left confused and hurt. It’s not worth the pain. The type of guy your talking about is the guy who puts his girl on a pedestal and treats her like a princess so she can use him as a slave. Times are changing. So get used to it. Hopefully one day women will actually pick up their balls and approach someone instead of giving signs and complaining why the guy is not approaching.

MrOracle · Answer

Feminism, and in particular, RADICAL Feminism, which was particularly strong in the 80s and early 2000s.

Men of that generation were taught that most "traditionally masculine" behaviors were not only unacceptable, but punishable.

Several little boys were expelled for making "finger guns" on the playground, and several more for pointing FOOD (including a chicken strip in one case) at another kid.

Kids can't ride a bike without a helmet and often without other padding. Hell, most kids can't even play outside!

I'm not saying that every woman agreed, but radical feminists were setting the agenda back then (and to a lesser degree in the two decades before).

For every action, there is a reaction, and often unintended consequences.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Women happened. Women generally wear pajama pants or "yoga" pants as their standard clothing. Women demand much give nothing so men stopped caring because why try if the end result will be the same? Their are plenty of men out their who do dress nice when going out but the fact is this is less common because again, women. They have shamed masculinity, they have ridiculed and harassed men who try to be "nice", so now all we have are men who don't know what they are suppose to do because nothing they do is ever right it seems so they stop trying and stop caring which ironically seems to be rewarded by women. If women had not lowered the standard and created this system these men wouldn't get a date, its as simple as that.(as some have pointed out the fact that you saw one guy and immediately attacked all men kind of shows why this thing is starting to get more and more common).

OldDad · Answer

Being a child of the 70's and 80's. You have a couple years on me not in a bad way. Our parents were blamed for global cooling, then global warming, now its just climate change. Same thing with fashion. What was once considered stylish is considered outdated. I remember when prom gowns reached the floor, now they barely touch the knees. I go by the belief that if my s. o. is doing everything to look her best, putting on a suit or tux for a few hours won't kill me. It makes her feel good and there aren't many men out there who dont look good in a suit. If he doesn't care that he sticks out like a gangrenous toe, and she doesn't either, I dont lose sleep over it. I just take some pride in making my lady proud. I'm all jeans and teeshirt 99% of the time by the way.

Buckzor · Answer

Why do WE get blamed for being our generation when we were RAISED & BRED from YOUR generation? Do you not have any sense of knowing how to raise someone to standard? Do you not have any idea how times are changing & we have to as well?

Is technology the same? Is the internet the same? Is school the same? NOPE, shit changes love, we adapt & keep up, you're still stuck in the past, which doesn't help anyone & for you to judge what she may like is even worse.

I wouldn't go out on a date without looking as presentable as I can - but saying that i've never gone on a real date in the first place.

WalterRadio · Answer

It isn't the men, it is the women.

Once upon a time, the value of a woman was high. A man had to swoon over a her, show her he could afford her, compete for her attention, invest a great deal of time and money in her, and then she might, just might have sex with him.

Feminism lowered the value of women by making them think sex should come as easily for them as for men. But that lowered their value. Women started undercutting each other, giving up what they expected in men. So men stopped investing so much time, money, and effort that was no longer necessary.

Because women are now so cheap, I have 2 date rule. If we are not having sex by the end of the 2nd date (with minor exceptions), then there is not going to be a 3rd date. I will just go to the next in line.

I do usually at least have a tie on for a first date, and I do put on a jacket for fancy things. I do that just because I always have, not because I need to in order to get my date into bed.

11110000bbbb · Answer

Well the question should be, What happened to Women?  Because if women keep changing and not wanting to put effort for their role in society. Men will also change. This is how it should be:

Shimy · Answer

What's wrong with cargo shorts and flip flops? They're comfy as hell
in my opinion I'm not sure you should judge whether he needs a haircut or not 🤔 if he felt like he needed one he would have gotten it

AlienParasite · Answer

I like to dress comfy, so I like boys who dress comfy too. I think people who like dressing elegant would want someone who cares of their apparience as much as they do. It's reasonable. I also understand that you feel bad your man stereotype is nowadays not that common, but fashion and lifestyle change, we should accept it even if we don't like it. Besides maybe that boy have something interesting in his personality that attracts the girl despite his personality, not everything it's looks.

And as I stayed before, I prefer a man wearing jeans and a t-shirt than wearing a tie. I prefer a man who spends more time thinking than dressing. It's a preference thing.

ryancg · Answer

It's likely their parents just never taught them any better. Or maybe a lot of guys just don't want to try as hard anymore. Perhaps those guys have just found that looking and acting like a gentleman isn't as rewarding as looking disheveled and acting like they don't give a damn. Hince why that girl was out with a guy like that rather than a gentleman.

I for one still take pride in looking and acting like a respectable gentleman, that's how my old man raised me. But I can also understand why some guys wouldn't want to put in the extra effort when a lot of girls these days would rather go out with deadbeats and assholes.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Dressing up too nice looks like you're trying too hard. I went out once after a wedding and women were turned off by me questioning why I was wearing a suit. It's like the equivalent of a dating profile with professional photos. It screams desperation and trying too hard to find someone cause you aren't content being single.

There isn't much variety to men's wear. You can wear smart shoes, pants, and a shirt and not much else to stand out. It's a better use of our time learning how to flirt and attract.

zombiejagër · Answer

Woah woah woah straight up u saw 1 bloke and want to say all blokes are the same? Nahh a lot of us when going on a date can clean up real nice however there is one big difference between now (and no offense) but when u was a younger gal.

Can you say FOR SURE that every single guy that went on a date would dress to the nines? Back in the years of punk and anarchy? Unfortunatly girls now have the same problem as girls then and not all of them see men as being "well dressed and suave" no they see them as "real men dont care what others think about them or their appearance"

skwiggledboi · Answer

You'll find lots of equally "appearance oriented" people in all generations. Applying a single anecdote to millions of people you've never met doesn't speak well of your intelligence or character.

In the context of this couple you saw, maybe he dresses nice other times but just felt like being casual that night, maybe this girl that was with him thinks that style suits him and has no objections, maybe she simply doesn't care what he wesrs because his true value to her lies in his kindness, humor, and thier relationship together?

These possibilities are why shouldn't have even bothered to write this question. No offence.😐

RuthAnn1781 · Answer

Not all guys are like that. I'll give it to you that it's nice to go out with someone once in a while and look all nice and put together, but not everybody is really into that. Maybe he didn't know they were going somewhere nice-ish or maybe the girl just got off work at the office or something. Not everybody is into getting dressed up, but you do have a point

Mornin23 · Answer

Okay, let's be real here:
Women don't always go all-out for a date, either. 99% of guys and girls are going to make sure that they look nice, better than normal, when going out, but going to extremes and dressing formally just isn't necessary. I would feel uncomfortable if a girl went to those lengths for a first date or something unless we were seriously going somewhere upscale or to a formal occasion, because it's really not worth it. If you don't feel comfortable showing up the way that you look normally, then there's an issue. Don't get me wrong, I make sure that I look decent, but what do you want me to do? Show up to Texas Roadhouse in a button up, pressed khaki pants, dress shoes, and a tie? Fuck no. I might come in a nicer t shirt and shorts, and I don't expect the girl to show up in a prom dress for a fucking date. Christ.

What the Hell has happened to men?

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