Why do I lose interest in guys after a few months?

[Anonymous]

I can never stay in a serious relationship because usually always around the 6th or 7th month, I lose interest in whomever I'm dating. I can literally be in love with them and have thoughts of marriage and then after a few months, wonder what I ever saw in them and plan on leaving. This really scares me because I don't think I'll ever get married or even if I do, I don't think the marriage would last very long.

Can anybody tell me why this always happens?

I'm almost 20 so I don't think it's pre-teen hormones taking over either ha ha.

But please, HELP?!?!?!

[talon13]

"I lose interest in whomever I'm dating. I can literally be in love with them and have thoughts of marriage and then after a few months, wonder what I ever saw in them and plan on leaving."

First of all, that isn't love. Love doesn't just fluctuate at your will and move from guy to guy. Blaming your loss of interest on the fact that "you are a girl" is dismissive and unhelpful. It excuses and rationalizes your behavior without having a chance to fix anything. What you call being in love is you convincing yourself that you should be in love. That or initial infatuation. I've never known love myself, but I know that's NOT what it is.

The reason you can't really fall in love is because you are looking for it. It's not something you can find just because you want it to happen. It's like going out and looking for a hundred dollar bill that someone might have dropped on the sidewalk. It can be argued that dating is like playing the lottery, and eventually you're bound to win, but I disagree with that philosophy for the inevitable manipulation (and self-manipulation) that often results from trying to force a relationship.

I'm not saying this is the case, but if you think you're perfect in any aspect, you should reconsider. In the same aspect, you should realize that NO guy is perfect. The thing that is possible is that you might someday meet a guy that is perfect FOR you--maybe someone that challenges you--someone willing to sacrifice exactly what you are willing to sacrifice to be with one another.

Without forcing love, it can be a hard thing to find.

You're going to find yourself lonely whether you're out dating or not. Embrace that. Be comfortable with the fact that it might take a lifetime to meet the person that's just right for you. Every second spent waiting is an opportunity to become more comfortable with yourself and to improve yourself.

You're only 19. Your life has only just begun.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for the advice. It really helped to open my eyes to some things and explain some things I didn't understand. Thank you again :)

[scooogy]

Quite impressive that googling this kind of problem 5 years after the thread got closed, yet does it help :D @Asker: Did you meanwhile find someone?

[AnonymousDude]

because you're a girls

girls constantly change how they feel on thiong, they can change moods 5 times in one day. girl can love someone one month, love someone else another.

guys stay more consistent, mood stays the same most of the day. they love someone for a looong time.

this is how I see it, so disagree all you like.

not saying use it as an excuse, but be agware, compared to a guy, your feelings for something aren't written in stone... more like mud...

[Anonymous]

you sound like my ex. She openly confessed her feelings for me and then 3 months later she pushed me away. She even started seeing another guy but that didn't last too long either. Then 2 months after we split she is texting me again telling me she misses me. But their is no way I'm biting that hook again!

[ajayanand1975]

You have swinging mood personality. Its good, as long as you don't regret. Try guys with" scorpion "star sign(born between Oct-23 to Nov-21). They are versatile. Exploit them.

[xtcee23]

Hot and Cold by Katy Perry... DEFINES YOU.