How does your definition of a “real man” differ from the mainstream stereotype of a “real man”?

Question

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

To me a real man is a man who is wiling to take care of himself and others and is honest and views people's personalities and not their bodies - maybe not in dating since everybody has the right to choose what they are attracted to - but in friendship - a real man looks at the heart and not at the body or the intelligence of the person.

Kas19 · Accepted Answer

A real man isn't afraid to express his emotions and doesn't feel that he needs to stifle them, treats people with respect, humble, doesn't use the term "alpha" or "beta", especially since it's virtue signaling and guys that call themselves an alpha are hateful and stuck up. A real man sticks up for others and is loyal.

Grond21 · Accepted Answer

A real man is someone who knows who he is and knows his worth. He is strong, humble, and loving. He sees the value in others, and he puts them first. He has great respect for himself and for others. He's worthy of looking up to, yet any admiration does not shake his foundation of humility

Nuremberg45 · Accepted Answer

A real man is honest even when it hurts, A real man always acts with integrity in every situation and stands for his conviction. A real man treats his woman as he would himself, A real man provides and protects his family no matter what.

englisc · Answer

Most people's ideas of what a "real man" is have to do with either:
1) morality: a "real man" is honest, respectful to everybody, basically a nice person
2) external qualities: looks, certain types of clothing
3) how good he is with women: how many women he can bang or how much women like him in general
4) what they personally want from a real man in the case of women: a "real man" does XYZ because I want that from a man, a "real man" likes "curvy" women, a "real man" pays for the first date, it takes a "real man" to wife up a single mother and raise another man's child
5) their own characteristics in the case of men: "real men" are just like me

My definition differs because it's simply based on the biological role of men and what we're designed to do, absent of any morality based ideas, self-deception, cultural ideas. Mostly influenced by a guy named Jack Donovan, to give credit where it's due.

Masculinity is amoral in my opinion. It's really about the things that men have always been expected to do by both women and men. For 99% of our existence as humans we lived in small tribes, uncivilised, in nature. Men evolved the way we did as a result of that, and that's where masculinity comes from, male nature. Masculinity was required for the tribe's survival.

Aside from all the bullshit about morality, clothing, cultural differences etc. Men everywhere, all over the world, are always considered to be more masculine if they're strong, courageous, competent and honourable.

Strength: the most obvious difference between men and women physically. Very important when you're hunting mammoths with sticks and fighting off rival tribes.

Courage: men have always been required to take more risks for the sake of their families, tribes, nations etc. Men are naturally less risk-averse than women, it's a natural side effect of testosterone. One of the worst things you can call a man is a coward, and coward = lack of courage. Funnily enough even those who want to encourage men to become more androgynous accuse masculine men of being cowards for not wanting to be like women - because the word coward is such a strong word to men, when we naturally want to be seen as masculine.

Competence: if a man is good at nothing what is he good for? In an evolutionary sense, women are always valuable because they can carry children. Men were only useful if they were good at stuff that could help the tribe survive - building things, hunting, protecting. An incompetent man is a useless man. This again is why nobody gives a shit for example if a woman can't change a tire, but a man looks like a complete pussy in the same situation.

Honour: honour today tends to mean "anything that's good". In this case I mean reputation as a man. Men who have a sense of honour care about their reputation. Honour was always about loyalty really, a man who cares about the opinions of his closest peers, his family etc. is gonna do his best for them. A man with no honour, the kind of guy who doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself, is not. A man who openly says "masculinity is stupid I don't care what other men think" - he's likely to be weak, cowardly, and incompetent BECAUSE he has no sense of honour. Therefore, no respect from other men.

That's my definition. Maybe masculinity is seen as less useful today, sometimes completely pointless. Some people want to "redefine it for the modern age" to the point where it means anything and everything - and becomes meaningless. They can't redefine our biology, it is what it is. If someone like myself believes it to be important it's simply because it's the best way for a man to become the best version of himself. I don't know how anyone can possibly argue that strength, courage, competence and honour are bad qualities, but we live in a clown world today I guess.

ThisIsMyOpinion · Answer

Don't know I will tell you mine and then you tell me if it differs.

A real man is caring, loving, loyal, respectuful, knows how to listen, has empaty and is helpful. He also is strong, assertive, brave, humble, doesn't let other walk over him, has self respect, pride and honour, know's that there are evil people in the world and sometimes is necessary to get your hands dirty.

He is not lazy, he has a job. He provides for his family. He protects his close ones and others. He doesn't abuse others, he lifts them up. He doesn't start fights, but he can end them.

Treats women with respect, but doesn't kiss their shoes either. He looks behond beauty and doesn't let it control him. He opens doors and pays for the bill, but doesn't feel less of a man when women do this for him. He knows is worth as a man is not defined by that. He likes to take care of them, but knows thay like that too.

He cries when the situation call for it. He is strong, but not invencible. He know's it and it's fine with it. Doens't mind asking for help when he needs.

I am writting as I remember. I believe I covered most of it.

geo_logy · Answer

This is a good question, to be a real man for me means to be strong, respectful with everyone, honest, humble, willing to protect and to look after his loved ones and fellow men as well... a real man appreciates the time of others and his time as well. His ambitions are driven for the good of everyone he loves and cares about.

Damn, this is an introspective question mi Lady.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

For me, a real man is a biological, adult male human being.

I honestly find it kind of stupid when people act is if you aren't real, just because you don't fit someone's standards or expectations of what a man should be, like how does me not doing XYZ not make me real?

There's good people and bad people and guess what, the bad people are still people, even if you don't like them.

BrexitAteMyHamster · Answer

It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. A man should just make the best of his life and that of those around him while he has life to live. The bullshit stereotypes and expectations will be a short lived problem in real terms. To waste what can be a short life thinking about such crap is to give life away to those with too much time I on their hands and too much insecurity.

Under_Maps_OF_twigs · Answer

Real men are men who act, look, think and maneuver like men. Real men cry when they are hurting. Real men love Jesus. Real men rebuke Satan. Real men don't avoid wearing pink thinking it is a feminine color. If you naturally do not like pink, that is different but going out of your way to do it, is not what real men do. If you don't do all of these, you are not a real man. You are a wuss and should not have the worth to be called a man. You are a male but not a man.

constant_freeflow · Answer

Someone who takes care of his family and respects women and doesn’t go on a dick comparison mental complex. I don’t try to tell every guy I can kick there ass, I don’t start fights , would rather settle it with agreeing to disagree or defend myself physically if it comes to it , not to the extreme where I brutally hurt someone while someone screams worldstar

Felinegirl · Answer

Well to me a real man is anyone who identifies as a man. That simple. I think guys who are less stereotypically masculine shouldn't suddenly be denied their gender, that's just stupid.

MzAsh · Answer

I don’t really believe in the idea of a “real” man. I do however understand the difference between a good man and a low value man.

ItalianGuy2020 · Answer

Well a real man supports the second amendment and would never support LGBT. We never back down from a confrontation but handle it the right way don't do anything stupid but if it comes down to defending yourself you do the right thing. And a real man doesn't complain about toxic masculinity only beta male cowards.

FakeName123 · Answer

A real man to me is a guy who is capable of the worst, but decides not to as long as it's not necessary. For example: you can avoid a fight in many instances, but sometimes you have to do it.

Additionally he is loyal, honest and strives to create things and thus make the world better. If it's through intellectual research or through physical construction doesn't matter.

Anonymous · Answer

Well the mainstream stereotype is that men are all terrible rapist assholes (feminists brewed that stereotype up) my definition is a lot less man hatey

MrsAnna · Answer

A real man isn't hung up on trying to be a real man. He just stands up for his family, friends and beliefs.

WhoDatGuy · Answer

Real man. A shaming tactic used to get men to do what you want them to.  Real men don't listen to women

stuntbrain · Answer

Hard to say. Mainstream definitions are worthless to me

Clarke498 · Answer

A guy that's not a piece of shit. Both in lying, and just being shitty in general.

MackToday · Answer

Not too much all though the main stream often mistakes dumb selfish thugs for real men when they're just loser criminals.

anononon123 · Answer

It doesn't, there's a reason that image exists, some of us can never be a real man

Anonymous · Answer

My definition is based on biology alone. Other than that artificial concepts of masculinity don't really mean anything to me.

lforman007 · Answer

'Real' man to me just means biological man.

Darknut · Answer

Let's chat some time send me a PM. It won't let me...

Djaay · Answer

A real man walks upright following the faith of CHRIST. Any other , is just a pretender...

esotericstory · Answer

Yes. He's not a real man if he cannot find the clitoris.

Anonymous · Answer

I didn't know there was a mainstream definition. What is it?

ROCKS128 · Answer

No real man for me, just Man.

NovissimumVirorum · Answer

Real men fight wars

daisydukeso · Answer

Penis :v

How does your definition of a “real man” differ from the mainstream stereotype of a “real man”?

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How does your definition of a “real man” differ from the mainstream stereotype of a “real man”?

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