Do You Think “The Strong Silent Type” Men Are Sexy?

[Marco10]

Yes, absolutely

No, I prefer a guy who’d lean on me

Updates

+1 y

You’re right. I guess the situation would entail someone you’ve been encountering for a period of time that you can get a sense of how they’re like.

[jamesgoldman]

'Whatever happened to the strong silent type like Gary Cooper'
Yes the Sopranos quote was obligated but onto my answer
I am a silent type but that comes from my business as much as anything maybe my new one will change things up
As for strong, I tend to fit smart better but emotionally I am strong again you have to be in business

[Marco10]

Mike Ehrmantraut is another great example! But it’s a dying breed

[jamesgoldman]

Yes it is

[serious]

I think that is very true. Such men do appeal to women, at least to a great extent.

[Marco10]

I think so

[jennifer_bloom]

Mysterious guys are attractive but I need to know the guy won't hurt me before I date him.

[lightbulb27]

how do you do that, isn't dating getting to know? So you are syaing you mus observe him for a while and see interactions before? I can say there is no guarantee who is under that cover until you get closer... unless you see finer qualities.. empathy, concern for others, animals.

[Marco10]

Unfortunately, you can’t. We live and we learn. @jennifer_bloom

[ChronicThinker]

Sure, as long as he can communicate enough to make a relationship work.

[Marco10]

Of course! But I’m just asking about men you encounter at school, work, gym, etc.

[ChronicThinker]

I mean, I can't really tell if he's strong and silent by just looking at him and him not talking. I would have to actually interact with this person to determine that. So, if I just saw a quiet guy not talking at the gym or something I likely just wouldn't notice him at all.

[Marco10]

You’re right. I guess the situation would entail someone you’ve been encountering for a period of time that you can get a sense of how they’re like.

[AmandaYVR]

I read through all the comments and your replies here. I think what you're talking about is... is someone appealing, when you don't know them yet, who is reserved ("I’m talking about men who can talk selectively and who choose their words wisely") but there could be more to them, which they just don't reveal easily/quickly? If a person is so stoic that they don't reveal anything, and even when spoken to do not react much or engage much... well then the 'mystery' of who they are will not seem necessarily intriguing. But if they are reserved, but do express something interesting when approached, then yes of course that makes them intriguing.
The world is said to be about 40% introverts, though I now hear ambiverts is what most people claim to be (but I read the original article/study about this theory, and I'm not at all convinced that it is de facto.) There are people who are more gregarious and friendly and enjoy having lots of not necessarily deep connections, but they themselves are a connector of people. Then there are the more reserved people who are careful, selective, and prefer fewer people in their lives but once they grow to like and trust someone, they share a great deal. And if you are the female version of the latter, and you like and want that, then being invited into that person's inner circle feels like a very privileged place to be, as if you've won that right and position. That's the girl you're looking for/suited to. I can tell.

[Marco10]

I like reading your replies and all the maturity you have to offer. I am talking about men who have something interesting to share and are well spoken when needed and actually very confident but contained and reserved. When approached, the type of men I’m mentioning, would be friendly but not to an extreme. They’d be respectful and they’d talk and be interesting but not share what they’re all about.
I can’t speak to how people view me but I’m a man of habits and I definitely am reserved with strangers and share what I hold inside my castle only with a very very small circle. I am friendly. I can be social. I prefer to go about my day, work out, study/work, and then socialize with the people I trust. I’m not a connector, though I know exactly how those are. Thank God I’m not one.

[AmandaYVR]

Your comment reminds me of a question I answered some months ago, about what is a gentleman.
What does the word "GENTLEMAN" mean for you? ↗
There is often a lot of talk on gag about confidence, and how important it is when dating, but I wouldn't personally put it at the top of the list. Self-assuredness, maybe. But really, people who are good people and know that don't have to exude confidence. True confidence is like the gentleman who doesn't need to be the star of the room.
Yes! Me too. Connectors always try to be 'helpful', saying things like, "Oh, I know a guy who I can hook you up for that..." (a mechanic, an accountant, a weed dealer, whatever) and they are the salespeople of the world. They serve a purpose and have a place in society, for sure. I was with one boyfriend years ago who was a very successful self-proclaimed chamelion. He also would have made a good politician, glad-handing people. He became a laywer. Family business, and more lucrative. He makes a lot of money but hates his work.
cont'd...

[AmandaYVR]

But there are many, many people who are very attracted to people who don't reveal all their cards, but rather hold them back, and reveal things about themselves... in due time. I married an onion. Very reserved, an observer of life. But independent-minded, smart, reasonable, and he knew it. He didn't mess around with casual, waited for the right person to come along, and I became his confidante.
We live in such an on-demand society now. We serve up just about anything and everything we want, when we want it (cost-prohibitive, of course), so maybe it should be of little surprise that some don't have the patience to invest time in really getting to know people. 'The paradox of choice' is real. But we shouldn't all know each other. If we did, it would not be special when we did connect. It is actually a place of honour, for someone to trust you enough to say anything, and potentially everything, to you, without reservation or judgement. Trust is earned. It is more valued this way. It feels to me as though many people shut down after being hurt by one person or another (could this be a byproduct of the everyone-gets-a-trophy parenting strategy, which has not built emotional resilience?), but we all have the capacity to change and learn from one another, and not everything has to be forever. If at first you don't succeed... and all that.

[DailyFairy]

No.. communication is very important in a relationship, 4 me a strong man is the one who shares his goods n bads with me if not its a HUGE turnoff even if u look like a greek god

[Marco10]

I see exactly what you’re saying and I agree with you. I was referring to a man that you’re not dating. In a relationship, openness and communication are key. I was referring to casual men you know from work, school, etc.

[DailyFairy]

Yeah they r sexy just to look at.. i hope i answered the qn😅

[morimeme1]

Depends on what his silence hides - is he unable to hold up an interesting conversation? In that case I would pass.

[Marco10]

Interesting point but no I didn’t mean this kind of men.

[morimeme1]

I'm cautious of that type and prefer more sociable creatures and my past experiences show that many of those "mysterious" guys just have nothing going on in their head.

[Marco10]

Could go either way and you have to be cautious for sure!

[devilish-cutie]

Not really but i dont prefer men that lean on me, i prefer more loud energetic open guys

[Marco10]

Mmm! There are plenty

[Anoniemus]

He's sexy but a man who is vulnerable and is willing to let a woman see it is sexier.

[Marco10]

Well, yes. That’s after you’re in a relationship. I was referring to men that you casually see but not your boyfriend.

[Anoniemus]

I don't casually see men (I wish I could be loose. Sounds like fun). But if I were, I don't think it'd make much difference.

[Marco10]

By casually see, I mean be together in the same place like work, school, etc. Not casually see as in actually ummm have fun with 😂

[Anoniemus]

Oh.. lol. Then yes, he's sexy. Kind of mysterious and interesting if I were just meet him casually.

[Marco10]

Cool lol.

[cooldude64]

woman wanting to know a handsome mans weakness so they can use manipulative tactics on him. Case of superman and kryptonite

[Anoniemus]

@cooldude64 Stay single so you don’t ruin a woman’s life with your paranoia

[cooldude64]

eat my ass and maybe i'll consider it

[AlexanderBrunnrgaard]

Women will think the strong and silent type is sexy if the man in question physically is sexy.

[Marco10]

There’s truth to that

[BagoH]

Damn women on this topic don't even know what a strong silent man is I feel bad for y'all lol

[Marco10]

Many don’t!

[nk1142]

First thing that came to mind was 50 Shades of Grey but after thinking about it I got it.

[Marco10]

@nk1142 I didn’t mean that sort of thing but it’s also something that piques my interest lol

[Hazelstar]

I don't know about strong men but if they don't have anything to talk then I don't want to be them.

[Marco10]

I’m talking about men who can talk selectively and who choose their words wisely not those who don’t have anything to add to a conversation when started

[abbie_wright]

no just tell me straight forward, im not a mind reader sis

[Marco10]

Mmm, I see.

[Anonymous]

Some of them are, but I think you look hotter than the guy in the picture above the question.

[Marco10]

That’s nice of you, thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome :)

[Anonymous]

I think they're attractive, as long as they can speak when necessary

[Marco10]

Absolutely

[Unit1]

You mean the type of men, who talk less and do more? That's me.

[Aurora1010]

I love these guys. Yuppppp.

[Marco10]

👍🏼👍🏼

[Pamina]

Neither inherently sexy nor inherently not sexy.

[Marco10]

You don’t think the way you carry yourself can make you sexy?

[Pamina]

Of course I do, what made you think I don't?

[Anonymous]

I like strong but don't like the silent part.

[Holldatur]

😂😂😂👍

[Marco10]

Touché

[leahzrc]

what does this even mean

[Marco10]

Men who are stern

[nk1142]

@marco10 I didn't understand this when I voted. But in general before I meet them, I would find this attractive. In dating though they have to be open with me, like let me in on their opinions, explain an answer I dont understand. Those one or 2 word answers that are essentially open answers make me feel like I'm not worthy or trusted. So I do like this when dating someone because they tend to be more secluded to me. I tend to trust these kind of guys more easily.

All in all this is attractive.

[Marco10]

@nk1142 relationships are different and all around openness and sharing. I meant guys you meet at work or school or whatever who you don’t have a relationship with.

[leahzrc]

i dont like stern men

[nk1142]

As long as it doesn't seem like they have an inflated ego, stern men make me melt. At work, school, wherever.

[Marco10]

I agree! Confidence is attractive, a big ego is not.

[leahzrc]

I still dont like stern men

[Marco10]

Lol different people different tastes

[nk1142]

@Marco10 I wouldn't act on someone at work. But this is what drew me to my first boyfriend in high school. But he was so quiet, it was a one word conversations for a few weeks till I cracked his shell. I was in a foreign country and knew he was not fully American and thought maybe that was why, but that quiet, mysteriousness kept me trying to learn anything about him. He wasn't stern in a controlling way but definitely stern when it came to protecting.

[Marco10]

Well if someone is an open book, nobody would want to learn about them. Mystery goes a long way, if it’s also complimented by good manners, a good character, a good moral code, etc.