Ladies - Do You Find "Lone Wolf" Men As Sexy?

Question

It's funny... in our society today, people are afraid of doing things by themselves. For example, my Mom stays inside the house all day long on the weekends and is always bored. When I ask her why she doesn't go out and do something, she says she wants someone to go out with or it won't be fun.

When I go to the gym, night clubs, bars, etc... you always see other women with their friends or guys with their friends. It seems people get to used to being around other people and cannot function correctly if they have to do things alone.

I am 25, and over the years, all of my friends moved around to different locations around the USA and lead different lives. I still talk to them, but we obviosuly aren't hanging out (since they live in different states) With that, I had to learn to adapt to being alone and doing my own thing. On weekends, you can find me doing the following:

-Going to the bookstore, coffee houses or restaurants.
-Going to the gym to workout or take fitness classes
-Walking around the park or sitting down on a bench and reading a book
-Going to the mall to look around and people watch
-Going downtown and just walking around
-Going to bars, clubs, lounges and strip clubs

I do all of these activities alone. When people in these venues ask me who I am with, I laugh at them and tell them I am alone and I create my own party and they are usually shocked and amazed. One woman told me that it is incredible sexy when a man doesn't need anyone to have fun.

What is your take on this? Do you view a man who is always alone and doing his own thing as strange? Do you think this is a sexy trait to have?

Grisbosque · Accepted Answer

the most important question is invariably; "Why".

loners are like every other group of people; variable.

so being judgmental as if they are a homogenous group is a mistake.

Im a loner, but also have an extremely social side (class clown).

with me. its a love hate thing;
I love being social, but also hate human self centerednesss.

and I love to observe people, airports are my favorite for this, because its all kinds of people from everywhere, and sometimes even strike up conversations and learn about their lives and dreams.

to me it would be nice to have a mate that was similar, both extremely social at times, but also content to be home together doing things like gardening, camping, animals, food, crafts, etc. i. e. a balanced life together.

but so far its never happened, have gotten close at times, but I like tranquility, and so far only women who are drama queens or have an egocentric attitude. so for now I am MGTOW, and happier for it. and what I have learned is its often our own hearts that betray us into problem relationships.

so my longer term plan is to build a camper or boat, (am artistic and highly skilled) and live exploring and living simple. and let chance take care of the relationship issue, as I believe the way to find your best mate, is doing what you love, and encountering them doing the same.

I wouldn't go to a bar looking for a woman, I would be more likely to go take a class that I was interested in etc.

but not too many women taking aluminum welding classes or celestial navigation.

and I wouldn't take a course I wasn't interested in just to hook up with women.

so I have learned to let go of the drive to find a woman, and be happy doing things that I like.

and thats the danger in modern society for women, we men can get turned off to women in general and just go our own way happily. and we have limits. and women dont seem to be able to comprehend that they can't do just anything they want to us.

eventually we leave.

either induvidually in a relationship or collectively.

G

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I find that both in love and life there is a time and a place for the lone wolf inside all of us to surface. For instance when you know you are right, but the convention is wrong, then going your own way and showing people that there is a better way is desirable to all. But doing it just for the sake of being alone, or refusing to help out and do your fare share, just makes you a dick.

What you have described in your personality is more of an Introvert. There is nothing wrong with it, just who you are. You want to spend more time with quiet self relfection than most. A lone wolf is someone who is more antisocial.

lilac_flowers · Accepted Answer

It's not fun to be alone so much. Anyone who claims they are fine alone is either socially incompetent so they don't know HOW TO enjoy other people, or they are socially competent and have a bunch of friends who want to be with them at any time, so their need for social interaction is met on their terms.

Deliberate loners tend to end up much more alone than they would like in the end. People try to pull them in, but quickly give up and move on. It hurts the loner in the long run and damages their personality and health.

Loneliness in social settings (in public) also communicates to other people that there is something wrong with you. You can't get along with rest of humanity enough to meet basic social needs and there has to be a reason. It's a status perception thing. You're letting women know that you have no social influence.

Women can romanticize your loneliness in their head (most will because of how you describe yourself here), or find you to be a loser (which they do will depend on the rest of your self-presentation in person), but at the end of the day it's all about how much actual social skill you have. If that skill is low, any romantization of your loneliness will immediately turn into them seeing your like a rejected loser.

SilenRose · Accepted Answer

I picked "C". I don't see it as sexy but it is admirable. I've done some of the things you listed by myself and it is nice but that's because I want alone time or don't want to be bothered.

-Going to the bookstore, coffee houses or restaurants.
+I don't do coffee but I have taken trips to the bookstore and small boutique restaurants by myself.
-Going to the gym to workout or take fitness classes
+I workout at home and outside because I'm frugal. :P
-Walking around the park or sitting down on a bench and reading a book.
+I do this when I have free time. Coincidentally this is also the time my friends call me up to go to a party.
-Going to the mall to look around and people watch
+I don't go to the mall as much anymore but when I did I was also guilty of this.
-Going downtown and just walking around
+I haven't done this. Whenever I do I'm with someone and it's always just spur of the moment or just to kill time.
-Going to bars, clubs, lounges and strip club
+Nope. I don't think I'll ever do that.

The funny thing is when ever I tell my friends about this they ask why I didn't invite them because they wanted to join me.

kat_gran · Accepted Answer

I think you and I could be friends because you sound exactly like myself!

I love hanging out with people and I have a great time with them... However, every now and then I just need time to be by myself and spend time only with myself and being alone doing what I want. It's so relaxing- It's me time.
Going to movies alone, going to the park, sitting on a bench, going swimming, going for a walk, to a club (although only done it 2xs alone)... I think it is so refreshing to go out alone and just be by yourself every now and then because it gives you so a fresh perspective on how people act and behave in groups, on yourself and how and who you really are. This is when you are at your truest self.. If you can't be alone, then you still haven't learned to enjoy your company, which means you haven't learned to love yourself and your solitude. I think it's great! However, I also think it is important not to spend TOO much time alone as it can then become unhealthy and lonely. Balance is key.

jasmineviolet · Accepted Answer

It's attractive because 1) you are independent and don't need to always rely on someone else to know who you are, what you like, what you want to do.
2) It's a bit mysterious. 3) You're proactive. At least it seems like it. When you're doing your own thing, it doesn't look like you're not waffling around wondering what to do with your life.

Keep living and moving forward with your life. The right gal will show up and she will want to join you in your journey; you don't have to worry. Just focus and know what you want in life and go for it. Not just for the fun for now, but for the important things you do NOW that you won't ever regret for the future.

That, is what's hot. Tsss. ;)

That said, there is a fine line between a guy being a complete "loner" who appears cool and alone but can't get along with others socially and a guy who can be independent because he already knows who he is and where he wants to be in life.

lizzykissxo · Answer

I prefer loners, and I am an extrovert. My current boyfriend is the epitome of a "lone wolf", although he can be charismatic, he just chooses to keep to himself. I think it is incredibly sexy that he doesn't seek other people's approval, and he swims against the tide of society's expectations. I've dated quite a few "extroverts" and well, that never ended up well. The loners I've dated have always been far more genuine, honest, sincere and down to earth people. Plus I kinda feel like we're in our own little world that we've created for ourselves, and everyone else is a nice addition, but we call to no one. Lone wolves are the best!

Xoxoxooo123 · Answer

Honestly, I could entertain myself easily by myself. I like my solitude and I don't really see anything strange about not wanting to be around people at times. I like to go out and do stuff with people too, but sometimes they don't find going to the library or eating at a certain resteraunt fun so we kinda settle and do something we both agree on. But if I'm by myself I can do whatever I want and take myself out to try everything and it's just as satisfying. I wouldn't see anything wrong with this, I think it's a sign of maturity and independence.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Funny to find this post, because I originally found this web site when I was looking for information on wether or not women are attracted to "The Lone Wolf". Since I do almost everything alone, I was wondering about this. I enjoy other people's company when I have it, but I often do not go out of my way to find someone to do things with. I usually go to restaurants alone. I always go to the gym alone. Most of the time I do outdoor sports alone. // I think some women are intrigued by it, but others might feel that a "Lone Wolf" might not be approachable because he might want to be left alone. It can certainly work both ways. It is a matter of personality really.

the_rake · Answer

'On weekends, you can find me doing the following:

-Going to the bookstore, coffee houses or restaurants.
-Going to the gym to workout or take fitness classes
-Walking around the park or sitting down on a bench and reading a book
-Going to the mall to look around and people watch
-Going downtown and just walking around
-Going to bars, clubs, lounges'

Sorry, did you write this take or did I fall asleep and write it subconsiously?

Seriously though, excellent take - you sound like my kind of man!

mr90skid · Answer

Man this is relatable, so it all sounds legit to me.
To some, loner = depressed, psychotic, dangerous, etc.
I once told a girl that I'm somewhat of a loner and she was like "Oh no! Don't say mean things like that about yourself :( "
I was like wtf?
Not trying to take a shot at extroverts or anything but I find it funny when they call loners/introverts mentally weak cause if anything, couldn't we flip that around and label extroverts that since they're more dependent on others. Just saying

GreatnessPersonified · Answer

You seem to forget that humans are social creatures and cannot fully function solo.
Take work for example, one person could do all jobs poorly, or a bunch of people can do one job well that makes the whole company prosper.

Before you talked about your mom. With women, they are the most social of the two sexes and usually go out with others for various reasons, one of them is safety. Women are safer in groups than alone.

Also, you might be an introvert, a person who's fine doing things alone.
Other people are not born that way, some need the company of others to feel rejuvenated. I know I am.

-Going to the bookstore, coffee houses or restaurants. = solo
-Going to the gym to workout or take fitness classes = solo
-Walking around the park or sitting down on a bench and reading a book = solo
-Going to the mall to look around and people watch = solo
-Going downtown and just walking around = solo
-Going to bars, clubs, lounges and strip clubs = solo.

ceative__very · Answer

I respect u can do that honestly respect!!
I have a small social anxiety and that stopped me from doing these things w/o fear of being judged.
Dont become like me it's a attractive thing if u are with me but unattractive if we are together but u still want a lot of 'me' time.
Iam an introvert with outgoing personality i myself would do the case 2 but that is unattractive
Ur question was more about loner so...
It is attractive u are independent. u are called a loner only if u have friends to hangout around but choose to hide away somewhere else DON'T BE THAT THING

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly this is eye opening and relatable.

Maybe it's my young age or my immaturity or who knows. But I'm terrified to do anything alone. I go to the bathroom with a friend, I go shopping with a friend, I go to a changing room with a friend, I go out to parties with friends, I go to get a pack of gum with a friend.

I hope to that I can be more independent when I'm older, because right now I'm totally reliant on doing stuff with others. Not that it's bad or wrong, but I'm honestly never alone.

Silver119 · Answer

I have a few small group of friends. I spend a lot of time by myself and do stuff by myself quite a lot, go get food or go shopping etc. The main reasons for this is everybody's busy, including me. When you grow up and work takes over it's hard to find time to spend together. I'm lucky if I hang out with any of my friends in person one every couple of weeks.

Although being honest I actually like the amount of time I spend by myself because it means I do get to do what I want when I want without anybody disagreeing :)

margarida · Answer

May I say, wow, I'm pretty sure I could fall in love with someone like you?
Because it's so attractive to me someone who is not afraid of being alone, who embraces solitude and makes it something to enjoy and be celebrated. You are certainly amazing. Color me impressed.

Realfire22 · Answer

I find it very sexy and mysterious myself. My bf's this way and has been before we became a couple. He just goes to work, every now and then eat out , go home to chill , then go to a game if there's one , and come back home to rest up for work again. I got lucky

Anonymous · Answer

Women only find lone wolves sexy if they are successful at life. A man who is a lone wolf and only that is looked by women as a male ostracized by the social group. Therefore a weirdo and someone to avoid.

As we know women are hypergamous creatures who constantly want to elevate their social standings and make damn sure they are not excluded from a social group. They constantly tippy toe through life worrying about what other people think of them. This is why they get with men who are popular/confident and accepted by social group (aka an alpha male perceived as a leader in the group).

I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION.

Tanuron · Answer

Well compared to me you seem like super social, lolz. Cause yeah my weekend its usally just me and the couch. The mad always have fun on their own as I say, I never even get bored. But yeah I agree, people have become to scared to be alone really.

Although I dont think anyone has ever found me attractive just cause of the loner thing, but im probably too much of a loner in a sense that hardly anyone know I exsist. But im totally okay with that too.

PeachSunset · Answer

I think badasses are attractive but not loners.. I wouldn't want to date a guy with social anxiety or extreme shyness. But if you mean just being alone for the sake of it, I doubt i'd get the chance TO date him. And I think guys who are a bit shy are extremely attractive.

Aud_Queen · Answer

I think it's rare to see a guy (at least in my age range ) spend time by himself and actually enjoy it. That always gets my attention and I find it sexy as hell. It's rare to see a guy just doing his own thing alone because everyone nowadays is so afraid of not being apart of something or being judged.

Being alone and doing stuff by myself is my usual. It's my "me" time. I've gone to parties, out to eat, shopping, and I study by myself. I like doing stuff with people too.

oddwaffle · Answer

Yeah, you are an introvert with a loner mentality. I like being alone too. I spend a lot of my free time reading sometimes writing or doing research. I don't feel really comfortable with crowds where everyone seem to know who is who and I just smile and nod because I have no idea what to do.

lanternhill · Answer

I love people but I do a lot of things on my own. For example - go to coffee shops, go walking, randomly explore the city, read in a park... someone told me I was really independent because I just do things but I thought that was normal-ish?
I get paid to interact with people so as you said - I'm actually a very sociable person, highly extroverted.

Agrojag · Answer

I am the guy who's out doing stuff alone and I enjoy myself but it hasn't done me any special favors with the ladies. I'm just glad I'm able to get out and enjoy experiences that I otherwise would be deprived of. I've even taken solo trips and they were the best trips I've ever been on because I didn't have to let anyone else hold me back from doing the things I wanted to do.

XxLumierexX · Answer

I know this sounds weird but even though I see the appeal of a "lone wolf" I dont find those type of guys attractive tbh. Definitely better than loud attention-seeking guys though...

i feel like a lot of girls find guys like you attractive probably, I'm just not really into it. Its pretty cool though

mrsingle · Answer

Being alone in New York your usually seen as antisocial and a loser. So for me it's not a positive, I just do it not to sit inside all my life. It sucks, especially in social places and your sitting alone not talking to anyone, like movies or at the store. Women don't talk to me so it's definetly not "sexy" for men here. I wish people approached me to talk because if I approach others they think I'm weird being alone and avoid me.

Ladies - Do You Find "Lone Wolf" Men As Sexy?

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