Do you ever get the feeling that someone is talking about you behind your back, AKA: backbiting? How to React When Someone Backbites Me

Question

"The best way to know your faults is to notice which ones you accuse others of" ~James Richardson

I try to never say anything behind someone's back that I would not say to them directly face to face.

Isn't that the way it should be?

What do you think about 'Backbiting'? ... is there a way to stop it?

I love this meme... not to mention the hot guy... OMG... lol

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is talking about you behind your back, AKA: backbiting? How to React When Someone Backbites Me

"Be yourself... Well, maybe someone a little nicer" ~Barbara Bush

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Honestly that’s the first time I heard the word backbiting, I heard of backstabbing , but yea I knew a few backbiters that were nice to your face but then talk shit behind your back , people like that are people that are jealous and weak and don’t really have any confidence in themselves , so they get off by trying to make themselves look better then the person they are backbiting , I had guy friends well ex guy friends that did this a lot to other friends , when it came down to me meeting a beautiful girl and I introduced her to them , the second i walked away to go to the bathroom or to get another drink they would bash me to her , luckily the girl didn’t listen to them and she thought it was messed up that these guys were saying they were my friends and they are bashing me behind my back , after she told me I confronted them and said why would you bash me to her , they would lie and say they didn’t bash me at all and say I don’t know what you are talking about , I said what would be the point of her telling me that then? And you guys have done this to other friends They would play it off that they said nothing , my friendship with them dwindled away after that I realized what kind of people they were and stopped being their friend. So people like that need their ass kicked , I see it happen a lot , girls do it to other girls as well , so it’s jealousy and lack of confidence

simplelikeme · Accepted Answer

Don't worry about what people think of you, nine times out of ten they're just jealous of you. Only worry about the people in your circle, they are the ones that count. Just be the better person and walk away and not say nothing, it doesn't sound like much. But when you do that whether you realize it or not you have more control over the situation then you think. I promise :-)

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

I've had it happen a lot, especially when I was younger. It's really a part of life, but for some reason is rampant with women.

I try not to talk negatively about people when possible, though if it's someone I'm close to I may vent or ask for advice for dealing with a certain person. I don't spread rumors or try to get anyone to turn on people, though.

I used to be really insecure about this stuff and I still have a hard time letting women too close because of my past of so-called "friends" only being my friend so they could get close enough to find a vulnerability and use it against me, but I've come to the point that I don't really care about what people say behind my back anymore. I just don't let anyone too close until I feel I can trust them and don't share anything I wouldn't want the whole world knowing. Then, they really have no power over me, and if they make shit up then it's really up to the others to decide whether they want to believe that or not. If they choose to take the other person's side, then I was probably better off without them anyway.

_gigi18 · Accepted Answer

It's a fact of life that people don't like you. Some are cunts some aren't. If you do find people are talking behind your back there are many ways to deal with them.
1. don't react don't respond just avoid them
2. Act oblivious and just be nice
3. Be just as mean as them but to their face
4. Confront them for being a cunt and cut them out of your life
5. Bit petty I don't recommend it but you can spread rumours about them.
6. Too showy for my taste but call them out in front of everyone
7. If its damaging your reputation and they do harass you. I'm guessing you can report them to the police, teacher or HR they could get arrested, reprimanded or fired.

octopus · Accepted Answer

How to React When Someone Backbites Me

When someone backbites you, it can be tempting to react in a negative way.

However, there are a few things you can do to diffuse the situation and maintain your composure:

First, try to remember that the person who is backbiting is likely feeling insecure or threatened in some way. This is not about you, it’s about them.
Second, take a step back and assess the situation. Is this person someone who is generally negative and critical? If so, it’s likely that they will backbite others as well and you might want to distance yourself from them.
If the person who backbit you is someone you care about or have a good relationship with, try to have a conversation with them about what happened. Ask them why they felt the need to say something negative about you behind your back.
Finally, regardless of the person or the situation, always try to remain calm and collected. Reacting with anger or frustration will only make the situation worse.

By following these tips, you can avoid letting someone else’s negativity ruin your day.

RemembertheOne · Answer

Backbiting is a bad habit to have. Personally, I do not care about what others think of me but I try not to speak badly about anybody for their characteristics or actions. Many people believe that you can backbite about somebody famous because everybody doesn't like so-and-so. This is incorrect. Take the well-known President Trump for example, there are lot of people who insult him, saying 'look at his hair' and things like this. This is backbiting. However, if one was to say, 'he should not have said this' or they talk negatively about his political decisions, I think this is fine because it is not personal and it is a public matter.
Also, look what backbiting leads to; rumours, arguments and breaking of friendships. Why would you want to waste time saying such things about another person feeding your ego and making yourself seem less approachable. If I saw somebody I know backbiting, I would tell them to stop and if they are strongly opinionated regarding this person, I would urge him to say it to that person face-to-face.
It does not matter to me if somebody talks badly about me behind my back and do not wish to know if they did or not unless they start to cause problems for me. Anyway, that is just my opinion on the matter. :)

Sensmind · Answer

I went D because I wasn't sure which option was closest to me - As I got older I cared less and less - I don't backbite that much (we are all human , everybody does it even a little bit) I am a "Treat others the way you expect to treated yourself" so even if I do backbite I expect to be held to same rule myself, the person I am harshest on is a friend whose long term relationship who broke up due his constant cheating and eventually she had enough, ended the relationship and started a new one. He had the cheek to go "Poor me, I have being so wronged" , I just go "FFS" to my other mates , if I behaved the same way , I would expect people to talk crap about me.
The times I care if I am being accused in the wrong and it affects my close relationships with friends and family. I am also a bit strange in I don't like a lot of false praise either. Just leave it at "He's a good guy" and I will be happy.

chrissykerdock · Answer

it's hard when your beautiful like you are people will notice you and people will be jealous of you... I think your a kind and amazing soul... if we met i'd probably love you like a sister... your very warm and touching I read your writings and they're very good and touching... so don't let anyone bring you down just do what you need to do and discover what you set out to... I don't think I saw you but I just get this feeling you are... if not your a beautiful soul.

loveslongnails · Answer

I've read that before as "You teach best what you most need to learn". And yes, the things that you dislike in others are often the same traits found in yourself. It's a good thing to be aware of in your life.

I've consciously tried to live by that saying " if you won't say it to their face, don't say it behind their back". But I have also had conversations about a person where the "truth" was common knowledge and it wasn't "gossip". It was more like " yes, we all know he's a cheap, arrogant guy and he's done that with all of us", so there's no point in going on about it and I stop. There's no point in that sort of talk.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I try not to say something behind someone's back I can't or won't say to their face. I've been seen as rude when if there's someone I don't really like, I don't have much to say to that person. But I've always thought it way ruder to be faky/ falsely nice to someone to their face and talk shit behind their back.

Insightfull · Answer

I used to wonder about that kind of thing. It's a horrible thing to do and can destroy lives. Don't say anything about someone without having said to their face.

If you think about it, the reason that someone says something behind someone's back but not to their face is that they know they're talking shit haha

The real fools are the ones that believe them and judge people based on rumors. I'll never do that. If I hear someone say something bad about someone, I usually won't believe them, will still give the target of the rumors a chance to show that they aren't whatever, and take note of the fact that the person spreading the rumors is not to be trusted (if they talk shit about someone to you, then they'll talk shit about you to someone else).

Moonchild714 · Answer

It's none of my business what anyone says or thinks about me!! I have no control over others, never did care if I was the subject of gossip or anything. If someone is talking about me, I'm the MOST Important Person in Their Head Living Rent Free!!! Who's getting the Last Laugh...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Quite a few times. At first, I thought it could be paranoia, but over time I always discovered I was right about it.

I pretend it doesn't bother me, but I does. It especially hurts when I find out someone I thought wasn't a backstabber turns out to be one. It's hard not to let it bother me. It makes me distrust most people, because most people backstab someone , in my life experiences anyway

Gunnar1978 · Answer

There's one flaw in your logics: instead of "I try to never say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't say to them directly face to face" you SHOULD indeed say it to the person face to face in the first place. Only that way the person has a chance to defend himself. Maybe he/she has some reasons for his/her behavior that you didn't know or your allegations are just based on wrong facts.

So I think it's not about whether you've got the guts to tell him but instead of whether you really do. That's what decides if you're acting mean or fair.

Jjpayne · Answer

The real cure is to not let it bother you. And when it comes out approach it with peace and wisdom. For example, "I've been hearing you have been sleeping around the office" "I haven't but even if I did it's none of your business" just having a smooth response back is good and helpful

Dongtai · Answer

Yeah but it gives me an ego boost to be honest. I’m not one to gossip, but I always found it interesting how a person could waste their energy bad mouthing me when they never even cross my mind unless they speak to me directly.

I’m on their mind and I’m worthy of their energy, regardless of how it’s being used.

They say if you’ve got haters it means you’re doing something right. As long as you’re not being a jerk, most of the time those people envy you.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think its okey to vent your frustrations against people to release pent up tension - I used to complain to a friend of mine about a guy who liked me cause he made me angry but I didn't want him to know since he could ruin my reputation if he knows I dislike him

Darcia · Answer

With how everyone treat me with all the dislikes and fake people around and I wouldn’t care if they like me and I already know they don’t so what’s the point of caring.

Anonymous · Answer

People do it to me all of the time and for no good reason, either. I'm very likable, I'm cute, funny, and well educated. I used to care, but I've always been told by my mother that they do it out of jealousy so I accept it as just that. That their opinion of me is no way a reflection of who I really am. People talk about you because they're otherwise boring and lack something.

Meropatrick · Answer

They do especially Asian people they talk about me in front of me but with their language so i can't understand them.  My honest advice dont be around people who are like that. Its toxic

itsallaroundtheworld · Answer

These people are TRASH. Especially if they are gossipers as well. I have known a backstabber like this. She was nice to my face, and even said nice things to me. But then I found out she had insulted and made gossips about me. When I confronted her, she denied everything saying "I don't care what you do with your life. And if I didn't like you, I'd say it to your face" blablabla. Eventually, I cut her off and wished her the worst!

metalhead_66 · Answer

Backbiting can not lead to anything good. It's stupid how people tend to discuss people behind their backs. Those people are cowards and have very low values

Romeocuck · Answer

I will only use the great words of Sting: "be yourself no matter what they say"
If you thing you did something wrong then fix it but that doesn't give anybody the right to dis you. a true friend is one that will praise you behind your back and will criticise you in your face in a 4 eyes conversation, and is the one that know all the worse about things about you and he/she still your friend.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I know several people often gossip about me. Others vicariously live their lives revolving around mine. None of those bother me. Only the truth hurts. Gossip is just gossip.

SydneySentinel · Answer

I cared for a while but then when I realized that the lies were never going to stop, I gave up caring.

normalice · Answer

In fact, I get the impression that people pretty much forget me entirely when I'm out of their presence.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yeah with strangers that laugh out loud like at Taco bell the workers they speak Spanish so its hard to understand them. No i don't work there just eat there. They're always looking over at me the workers

Lily-bardot · Answer

I don't pay attentionto anything someone says behind my back, usually because it's being said by someone that I couldn't care less about 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous · Answer

I laughed at #c. People who don't work and don't go to school (and may never work or go to school) think social media is the only way people talk about others behind their backs.

MrOracle · Answer

I just can't conjure up enough energy to care. I don't do "gossip."

Riddler1412 · Answer

I use a saying " Someone's talking behind my back? Well then, they're in a perfect position to kiss my ass."

LazyMan · Answer

Usually I assume someone is always talking about me behind my back. I don't care too much. If they can't speak their mind to my face then then don't deserve my reaction to it behind my back.

Lunatic1 · Answer

Social media has made backbiting more common, but that doesn't make it right. It needs to stop, but it doesn't bother me.

honestGUY45 · Answer

You could also be facing the wrong way while they're talking. Turn around... Now, who's in the lead? Everyone talks, I don't care.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

If they are too much of a punk to say it to my face.. I'm not worried about them talking about me behind my back.

Anonymous · Answer

As long as what they're doing not affecting my life, I couldn't care less. My life must worth so much more than those back biters.

YHL6965 · Answer

Somehow, I don't worry about that unless I have specifically learnt that someone did that to me. Even then, I don't worry much about it.

interested70 · Answer

I do get that feeling from time to time and unfortunately I try not to let it bother me but it always does.

sensible27 · Answer

I don't know what part of world you guys live in, nobody backbites me... yeah, you guessed it right. I have no friends

dthomas89 · Answer

They say that when your ears are ringing, that someone is talking about you behind your back

TahoeHiker · Answer

Can care less. My actions and integrity speaks louder than back stabbing lies. a

Tunasub · Answer

No fucks given. If they can't say it to me... then it's none of my business.

Regmorus · Answer

Doubt, someone does and don't care at all. They have right to do it, if wanted

SarahsSummer · Answer

What others think about you is none of your business

lsjr16 · Answer

All the time but people always has something to say

wildbilly123 · Answer

Fuck no i dont care.. they need to grow some balls and talk about it face to face

BoxySama · Answer

There are so many things to make fun of, I will join you in that roast

LordVarys · Answer

People can be mean it should only bother you if you care for the people who are doing it.

Deku2009 · Answer

Yeah I find it really disappointing that someone would do that

TallAnon · Answer

Probably are, who cares? 😛 We're all our harshest critics anyway, can't be worse.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

I hope the backbiting reference doesn't catch on. Ah, it's only GirlsaskGuys anyway

Tata27 · Answer

Listen people gonna talk about you until the day you die but why should you care.! Fuck them live ya life and best happy & do what’s best for you

lunaminx · Answer

People are still doing it

coolhotchacha · Answer

Actually u must feel happy, They talk behind of U.. That r jealous of u. Never care for that or b tensed..

the_sinner · Answer

I don't care about it until someone comes and talks about it directly with me.

Zoi02 · Answer

I tested people before found out who it was by giving them the information.

Hugemoth · Answer

Even if i don't think about it, someone is. I don't care about it. I talk shit about people too.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yeah and I accept it. Life is a jungle and you have to accept the good, bad and ugly.

BeMuse · Answer

It’s bound to happen. I don’t care.

Anoniemus · Answer

Isn’t that back talking?

luvstoned4him · Answer

Always but I dont care

Gedaria · Answer

Ignore the sad individuals...

Klitschko88 · Answer

Slander is illegal and actionable.

MadBoy · Answer

Yep. And they usually are. I'm paranoid.

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

I assume everyone does and I'm ok with it

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is talking about you behind your back, AKA: backbiting? How to React When Someone Backbites Me

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