I caught my boyfriend checking out another girls ass, but he refuses to acknowledge it. Should I break up with him?

[Anonymous]

We were walking in a nearby park and I noticed this girl walk past us. His eyes went to her lower body/butt and I could tell he checked her out. I mean, I don't blame him. She had a nice ass! What made me upset was the fact that he kept denying it which made me feel crazy. He said he was looking at the guy next to her's tattoos instead and that he doesn't remember looking at her butt. I tried telling him that it's ok if he did look at her butt and that I wouldn't be upset, but he kept denying it regardless. After he noticed that I was upset, he finally decided to admit that he checked out her butt JUST so that I could be happy (and not because it was true). I then noticed that he got upset and decided to tell him that I believe him even though I don't. Would this be something to break up over? Or am I making a big deal out of it?

[Curmudgeon]

"I mean, I don't blame him. She had a nice ass!"

If that does not answer your question, praytell what does? Let it go. He stays with YOU, right?

"What made me upset was the fact that he kept denying it which made me feel crazy."

And he did THAT out of respect for your feelings. Surely you understand that?

I think your best response to him would have been, "It's okay, I don't blame you. She *does* have a nice ass..."

And then you two would have shared a good laugh about it.

[SpiritBear]

Dude, you absolutely are making mountains of molehills. If you don't trust your significant other that much, it's a problem. If you were to break up, the justification in my opinion is that it would be because of how you acted, and not how he acted. If you still wanna date this dude, apoligize for refusing to believe him and trust him more. This is such a trivial thing to end a relationship over.

[EriFrancis1994]

I think a break up is a bit extreme. Seems like he just wants to protect your feelings. Keep reinforcing that looking but not touching is ok with you and eventually he'll feel comfortable to admit it

[jjj101010]

Seems a sensible approach

[btbc92]

Should you ask that question? I would. That's lusting. He's going to eventually cheat domt tolerate that. He should not even be lying and that's a red flag right there.

[Somestranger]

That's definitely an overreaction, no hard feelings. All guys do that. At the end of the day, you're his girl and the one being with him. No guy would look away when a girl with a nice ass walks past, trust me. But the same applies vice versa. 95% of the girls I know wouldn't resist to look away when a guy has a six pack or has a lot of muscles in general. There's nothing bad about it, as long as there's no further thought about it or bad intentions.

[Anonymous]

It’s a natural instinct that we can’t simply stop. Especially since males are visually triggered and women expose as much as possible in public for cheap sexual attention. It’s a knee jerk reaction like turning your head when you hear tires screech. Or a jump scare.

We deny it to try and avoid the wrath of insecurity from our female, which is a lose lose situation because even admitting it gets us in shit. So if you can’t deal with basic male female differences and want to control or stop biological instinct, you probably should break up because you should’t be in a relationship.

[lordmaz]

I know this is an old post but it’s so annoying that I have to respond.

First of all, the idea that men are more visual creatures than women is nothing but a myth. An excuse that men with no sexual discipline such as yourself have been using for years to defend their bad behaviour.

If you google it, you’ll find that studies which corroborate your theory based their findings mainly on self-reported findings, proving that this idea is rooted in male bias. Instead, indisputable scans of the brain when shown arousing visual stimuli, show that gender does not influence a response in any way.

Even if what you were saying had any credibility, I find any reasoning that sounds like “men just can’t control their urges” to be laughable, and frankly, insulting to men. We are not cave men, we are fully able to control our primal instincts. Just like we should control violent impulses, we should control sexual impulses, especially if we are in an adult monogamous relationship, where our actions may negatively impact our partners self esteem.

To suggest that this lady shouldn’t be in a relationship because she is not ok with her partner openly lusting over another woman right in front of her is ridiculous, and shows me that it’s in fact you, that should not be in a relationship. In fact, if you cannot control you most primal cave man impulses, you probably shouldn’t be a part of civilised society at all.

[Opinion Owner]

@lordmaz hahahaha it’s not a myth. You are not a male and will never k ow what being a male is like.
The data on males being visual and women being mental is endless. Your pathetic shaming tactics will never make that untrue.
It has nothing to do with “discipline”… you just believe that men have to think the way you do and when we don’t, you say it’s because we “can’t control ourselves”.

70% of women have rape fantasies, saying they can’t control themselves simply because we don’t understand it and think it’s fucked up and wrong, would be ignorant. Which is exactly what claiming men looking at women exposing themselves for cheap sexual attention is like. Women can’t women just control themselves? Why do they have to expose themselves in public and around children? Are they that perverted and twisted that they just can’t control themselves? You are not cavemen. You are fully capable of controlling yourselves and not exposing yourselves, even if it’s your natural instinct to crave and seek out male sexual attention. Just like we should control violent impulses, we should control sexual impulses, especially if we are in an adult monogamous relationship, where our actions may negatively impact our partners self esteem. <—— or does your bullshit only apply when it benefits you?

If you have an issue with a man looking at females peacocking themselves for sexual attention. Blame the females who don’t have the basic ability to have dignity. If you can’t control your basic primal instinct to expose yourselves the you shouldn’t be part of civilized society at all.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

You aren't crazy and thinking of breaking up with him does make sense in one context. He's not being honest with you. If he can't be open and honest enough to admit something as simple and harmless as checking out another girls ass, then he's probably going to try to hide things from you in the future. You are already feeling that you can't trust him, even if it's hard to put it in those words.

[AzureGirl]

He is most likely denying it to avoid upsetting you in any way. You’re blowing a small thing out of proportion.

[spartan55]

You are making an issue out of nothing, so yes that's a big deal. No wonder your boyfriend kept denying it, look at what he has to deal with.

[EarwigListens]

Think back to just how you asked him and how you treated such things in the past.

It would be best not to pressure your guy so he can feel comfortable being honest to you.

[Gedaria]

We all do it women are with the guys. But today no I'm not is silly.
I'm terrible doing this but it ba matter of saying sorry but it is lovely ass do you think. girlfriend does it do we as bad as each other...

[Prof_Don]

He needs to be more discreet. We all look. But obviously doing so with the partner around is just rude.

[coffeewithcream]

Yes, it is something to break up over.
He should break up with you.
If you lose it over such trivia then you'll cause arguments often.
His life would be better without you.

[Mussjuventino]

We always do that😂😂 if yiu break up with him because of that you will never have a boyfriend 😂😂😂

[tohonest201797]

dont break up with him just over that just talk to him about it

[Fuentes]

Are u sure he was staring i beem accused of this but i wasn't

[Flyawaywithme]

I think you’re making a big deal out of it

[Anonymous]

deal with it