I'm nervous about my boyfriend going out clubbing with his friends for the first time as he is now of age. Should I be?

[Anonymous]

We have been together now for almost 3 years and obviouslty this situation has not been an issue in our relationship yet as he has only recently turned of legal age to go clubbing. He wants to go out with his guy friends but without me and since I haven't yet been before, I'm quite worried. I have heard many stories about the clubs and what can go down etc. I'm more nervous of the unknown, not knowing who he's talking or dancing with, how drunk he is and anything happens to him, who will approach him etc. I'd just like to be able to come with him so I have that reassurance that I am with him. I am also of age but have not yet been clubbing and he just wants to go with his friends a few times which is understandable but I just worry and want to hear what you all have to say if you've been in similar situations before... I would prefer if he took me with so I wasn't left at home worrying.

[btbc92]

That should automatically be a red flag. That is a good way for cheating to happen and you should not be in that situation. There is nothing wrong with anybody hanging out and enjoying yourself. But places like that is a huge deal breaker for me. And if you already talked about wanting to go there you should automatically know whether or not there should be a deal-breaker for you. Not continue to be in a relationship when you know you're going to have serious trust issues or being a lifestyle you're not in agreeance with it.

Stay out of those places. From the experiences of my friends who go clubbing, is not a place you want to go to. Anybody else that want to say anything, they're lying their ads off, just know that. Believe the stories because they are true. He's going there with the idea that it's okay to play single while he's involved with you. Even if he says that he is involved with you, trust me when I say. It is a place of Temptation. And his friends are bad influences. There's a good reason why they say you all who your friends with.

[spartan55]

Wow, you act like you know all those guys... 😂 😂 so stupid.

[btbc92]

@spartan55 A good man wouldn't be in some CLUB. He doesn't support harlotry and whoredoms. He has somebody to spent his time with. He and his boys can go elsewhere to hang out. It's inappropriate. Not being stupid. Being realistic. I WOULDN'T even go there.

[spartan55]

Just because you date the type of guys that act like in a club doesn't mean all guys are like that.
So does he get to control what she does too? Where she goes, what she does... glad it's not me.

[btbc92]

I don't and wouldn't DATE a guy who goes to clubs. Period. It's not about control it's about respect. Otherwise she can leave him. If a guy wants to live that lifestyle he can. Not somebody I would be with hence why I screen everyone and wouldn't DATE a stranger. You were them out. He is allowed to voice his opinions to her. They are together. That's why you talk about this way before you get yourself involving into a relationship. And you don't get into a relationship that you are not comfortable with. It would not be me. Of course it wouldn't be you that's why you're single and if my memory is correct why you never been with anybody. So at that point you shouldn't be saying anything.

[btbc92]

Weed them out*

You know darn well he is not there to just have fun. He is there to be influenced by his dumb friends who wants to hookup and get laid, while telling him possibly that she doesn't have to find out if he gets sexual attention from females. If it was her going to a male strip club and only her and her girlfriends, and he ain't invited to come, you would think the same. Enough with the hypocrisy. Even If my friends invited me. I WOULDN'T go. They know me. Hence why they don't invite me to certain PLACES. Thank God they aren't that type of people. But it's still wrong and ungodly. As a Christian woman I don't belong in those places. Unless I have to do business there, I am not going there. Wouldn't dream of it. Relationships have boundaries. And your shaming her for setting them. You avoid where there is temptation and bad influences. This is why you don't pick up people who can't handle. Why do you think people who go to clubs, meet, other people who go to clubs and date people in those clubs? Compatibility. 3 years mean nothing if he refuses to be respectful if not faithful.

[spartan55]

Wtf are you talking about saying I'm single and I've never been with anyone? Yeah your memory is great there honey. Go act like you know everything about someone else you nut.

[btbc92]

I said if my memory serves correct I didn't say it was fact. You know exactly what I am saying, and have nothing to do if I know somebody else or not. She has every right not to be with somebody who goes to clubs. And he has every right to question what his intent is being with his friends. I don't care what your argument is. She is in that relationship with him. You are not in that relationship with her.

[btbc92]

She*

[spartan55]

I have no idea wtf you are talking about. Run along now.

[btbc92]

You're on my comment feed so I think you're the one that needs to run along.

[spartan55]

You're still talking?

[btbc92]

This is the 3rd time since early this year you dedcided to continue to disrespect me. I don't know what happened to over the years but I highly suggest you stop. Because the next time you do something like this at that I have given you so many chances you're going to get blocked.

[spartan55]

How am I disrespecting you, because I don't agree you? Really? Is that how respect works with you?
If anything it's the other way around, so save your righteousness holy roller.

[btbc92]

How you choose to speak to me and how you been chosen to speak to me for the past few months is disrespect. You don't have to agree with my opinion. I don't care if you do. If you do thank you. If you don't okay that's fine. But when you're mocking a person and saying what you're saying that's not respect. And I'm not going to save anything. Last warning.

[btbc92]

And you haven't been just doing to me you've been doing it to other users, too, and you think I haven't forgotten. Especially in February. I remember what you said. You so far have been lucky I haven't cut you off then.

[spartan55]

Who am I mocking? What did I say in February? Are you being serious right now?

[spartan55]

Do I know you?

[btbc92]

Yes, I am serious! And it really infuriates me right now, that you don't even remember any of this stuff and I remember it as if it was yesterday. If you cannot even remember what was said and I have to try to explain it for you then I highly suggest you better be think about why you're on here.

And you haven't been just doing to me you've been doing it to other users, too, and you think I haven't forgotten. Especially in February. I remember what you said. You so far have been lucky I haven't cut you off then.

[btbc92]

But just to jog your memory I will give you a hint. It has something to do with the Bible. Figure that one out.

[spartan55]

Oookay, I'm still waiting for your examples of my disrespect, and now you are saying I said something in February that apparently I'm supposed to be remember even though it's nearly the end of June.
Still no idea what you are talking about, but it's interesting listening to all this.

[btbc92]

You got a brain. You use it. Because apparently right now you don't know what to do with it.

[spartan55]

Says the woman that goes on and on about me disrespecting her...😂 😂

[btbc92]

Keep it up.

[spartan55]

Or what? Stop with your bullshit, if you have something to say, say it. I don't know who the fuck you are, and you are talking all this shit about me with absolutely nothing to back it up.

[btbc92]

This is what. Goodbye.

[Anonymous]

I’ll give you a piece of advice, for more than this situation: if you don’t have trust, you have nothing. It’s healthy for him to have guy time, and if anything were to happen, then it’s going to anyway. You never wanna be the helicopter girlfriend, it’s not a gook look and comes off as insecure. Let him have his night out dude. If he cheats, then he’s always been bound to and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Why burden yourself with that, you know? It’ll be fine.

[Asker]

Thank you, I do always keep this in mind. In fact, I'm not actually worried at all about him cheating because I do trust him in that regard. I'm actually more nervous knowing how he always drinks too much and he might end up blacking out and not knowing where he is to see if he's safe etc. It's more the stupid stuff he does when he's drunk with friends without me I'm concerned about rather than cheating or flirting because he is very loyal. It just makes me nervous knowing I won't be there to help him if he gets really sick etc. because that has happened before and it was bad haha.

[Opinion Owner]

I can definitely see your concern with that, I also had a boyfriend who went too hard when he drank and it brought out ugliness in him. But the best you can do is to tell him to take it easy, and if his friends have his back they won’t let anything happen! Side note, I’m surprised he can even go clubbing with covid! That would be my bigger fear lol

[Asker]

Oh really yeah that makes me feel a bit better thank you! I know that if I tell him to just be sensible with the amount he drinks he should listen and plus I know his friends and they're not complete idiots lol. And yes I'm in Queensland, AUS and our clubs have just re-opened!

[Opinion Owner]

That’s so cool, I am in California and our bars keep closing haha! But I’d say stay positive about your boyfriend going out and maybe that night have some time with your girls, even if it’s just over FaceTime or something, whatever will take your mind off of him being out so you won’t stress about it☺️

[spartan55]

Three years together and you don't trust him to go out with his friends? Why are you with him if you don't trust him. If he's going to cheat on you, he will. He doesn't have to go to a club to do that.

[Asker]

I'm not actually worried at all about him cheating because I do trust him in that regard. I'm actually more nervous knowing how he always drinks too much and he might end up blacking out and not knowing where he is to see if he's safe etc. It's more the stupid stuff he does when he's drunk with friends without me I'm concerned about rather than cheating or flirting because he is very loyal. It just makes me nervous knowing I won't be there to help him if he gets really sick etc. because that has happened before and it was bad haha.

[spartan55]

Geez really? Are you mom or something? If he can't go somewhere and drink in public without blacking out then he shouldn't be going out. You make him sound like a helpless child, I think he'll manage. I don't think I'm buying the reason you want to be there but nonetheless. I went to the clubs frequently in my 20's and got after it pretty good. Aside from being asked to leave one establishment, nothing like these other paranoid women are talking about ever happened. I suspect a few of them have never even set foot in a club.

[Anonymous]

oof. Bad idea lmao. All types of fine ass women in there dressed skimpy twerking and dancing on men. Sounds like bad business if you ask me.

[Opinion Owner]

@asker dont down vote my opinion bc you didn’t l like what I had to say 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Asker]

I didn't like or dislike it yet lol? Must have been someone else haha

[Janae_]

He has no business at the club even with his friends clubbing is for single people. Yea go with him.