Why mu husband doesn’t initiate, ever?

[Anonymous]

I am so tired of my husband. He doesn’t talk to me if I don’t talk first, he isn’t affectionate unless I initiate and often when I initiate he playfully reject me and it hurts me. We don’t have any time together unless I make it happen. He comes home afternoon, do practical things, there’s the kids, the kids sleep evening, he falls asleep snoring on the couch to the tv from 9 or 10 pm and I am annoyed about it until I sleep around 00 or 01 am. We only have two rooms, so there is a kid’s room and then our beedroom is also our living room.

I get you can be tired, but he doesn’t show me anything unless I initiate. And normally I am very, very affectionate, plan things for us, dress up for him, but sometimes I am not because I am not getting it back and being rejected hurts. Then when I stop he acts like I have a problem and ask why I am so quiet. Also he only works four hours a day, so I don’t get how he can sleep so much, we have kids, but I work as a nurse substitute and study to get a bachelor in nursing as well and I don’t fall asleep unless I plan to.

[desidoll]

I don’t know if there are some missing details but to me it looks like both of you are lack of communication. Relationship works through it and it is important for both of you to know what is going on. None of you actually tries to voice this out though the problem is obvious. Is he like this before or only after marriage? You need to confront and tell him that you want to talk about this. Do not avoid each other or pretend like you are happy when you are not. Don’t be afraid to argue if you need to, just try to be mature and honest with each other. Whatever things that you feel bothering you about him, let him know. Same goes to him. Ask him if there are things that he is keeping inside which leads him to behave this way.

[Lexi_Lous]

FOUR HOURS A DAY? HE ONLY WORKS FOUR HOURS A DAY AND doesn't HAVE TME? Kids are at school, right? One way initiating is bad, I would sit him down and confront him about it. This is a problem

[Asker]

Yes kids are at pre school. I could try to talk, he just always ask why I am quiet. He is just his normal self, so I realise everything we do is actually because of me.

[Lexi_Lous]

I would try to talk for sure, it might just save the relationship

[Anonymous]

For the sake of your children, consider marriage counseling and talking to him about why its always you that has to make the effort. I hope he's not cheating on you.

[R3DthatDude]

I’d say you should tell him you guys need to talk or seek couple counseling.

[harry7825]

Maybe he feels bored about you

[Asker]

Perhaps, then it would be better he left me if he doesn’t like me.

[harry7825]

You have kids

[Asker]

Yes better for them to see him happy than with someone he doesn’t like.

[harry7825]

Oh that's really sad about it

[harry7825]

Maybe he sticks with you because of the kids

[Asker]

Probably.

[harry7825]

Yes I think so
Maybe you have to find a new life

[slizzle01]

Slip him some viagra. Or talk to him about it.