Why is my guy friend suddenly ignoring me?

[Anonymous]

We've been pretty good friends for about a year. We did meet on tinder after i went through a devastating break up. We flirted for a couple of months before I came clean and told him I wasn't ready to started dating and we agreed bc we got along great to still be friends. We give each other advice when it comes to casual lovers or potential serious partners that always seem to fall through. Ever since I got over my ex, I've realised that maybe he shouldve been a slower yes rather than a quick no... I do find him attractive but i dont really know how he feels about me on that level. He did admit he has a "type" of girl he prefers and im definitely not it... lately we've both been way too busy to keep in contact but he's always made contact to tell me about his day or week... i told him i missed him and cared for him, and i got a very sweet response he yelled AWWWWWWW... and it sounded like he really appreciated it. ever since then it seemed like we were getting pretty close, and then he backed away... i haven't heard much from him... he says its only bc he's busy but even then i still get the jist that somethings wrong... we do jokingly flirt and have the entire friendship... and I don't know im beginning to wonder maybe i did something wrong... he seems like a pretty straight forward guy too which is weird. i feel like he would have told me if he wasn't into me... but I don't know what to do other then give him space and wait for him to come to me, but a opinions on whats happening would help ease the nerve

[Zeppelinrocks]

I also echo the opinion that he’s trying to keep you as a back-pocket girl, unfortunately. It’s probably not anything you did, but you can’t make someone more interested in you than they are. I would probably give him space to come to you- men like this always come back. By back-pocket girl, by the way, I don’t mean that he has someone else he’s more interested in. What I mean is that maybe he really is busy. Maybe he knows he can’t give you the kind of attention and emotional investment that you need for a good relationship right now. Maybe your friendship is very valuable to him, and he worries that if he can’t provide what you need in the dating dynamic, you guys won’t be friends after. All of these are valid reasons for him to not want to get too close to you at the moment, and none of them have to do with anything you’ve done. So what happens now is on you- do you love this person enough to keep the avenue open to him? Does he bring happiness to your life, and will he still bring happiness to you even if you never end up dating? For your own sanity, I would keep looking for other potential connections, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving him space, time, patience, and your support.

[Asker]

update, he came back and explained he's just been really busy. he did say there was another girl but that they were just friends since she has a boyfriend but theyve been helping each other out at work or something. i did just say as a joke, "if you're wanting to get laid, why dont you just sleep with the girl whose in your dms all the time?" and he just said, that its too much effort/dating is too much effort.

[Zeppelinrocks]

Dating does take a lot out of a person, and that’s okay! There are plenty of people out there who are much more emotionally available for such a thing, yknow! If he was really worth your time, he would go to any length to make sure you remain a possibility, yknow. If he’s not willing to put in effort, I think you have your answer friend

[livelife1018]

By the sounds of it, he just considers you a good friend and nothing moree. What did you reply to after when he responded "awww" ?

[Asker]

he was like awww [my name] u missed me! and i just said ofc, we've been in my life for like a year now it would be weird not to or something like that

[livelife1018]

By the sounds of it he's just doing that to be nicee

[Noobdrew]

I think he still sees you as a potential partner buy maybe more like a plan b partner. He might have caught feelings for someone else and doesn't want to tell you as he doesn't want to make you angry/sad.

[Asker]

i mean about a week a go i know he started talking to this new girl but the last i heard he said she seemed a bit boring over text, but thanks. given its been almost a year that really hurts