Guy won’t let me go, when is it considered dangerous and I should go to authorities?

[slackbabbath]

I was a barista at 23, I’m 26 now. I served this guy (27) coffee 5 times, chatted for a few minutes each. He followed me on social media and tried to ask me out but I declined since I had a boyfriend. In the years between now and then, he has popped in and out to check in and ask me out. A few times I was seeing someone else. We have talked a little online and texting but nothing substantial. He’ll see me on dating sites and ask me out. If I decline he gets angry or upset and sends me long winded messages about how amazing of a guy he is and I would be stupid to decline a date from him, and how perfect we are together.

The last 6 months or so it has been this back and forth. I have blocked him twice and he will find me on new accounts he makes. He’ll get his hopes up that ill accept his date (I’ve never been mean to him, just direct and honest), but when I don’t, he will turn belligerent (say im nothing but someone guys fuck, I have no qualities) or sad and send me a string of messages describing how much he loves me, how much heartbreak I’ve caused him, begging me to give him a chance, he says he can’t date other women now knowing I exist, we’re perfect for each other, he’ll compare himself to the guys I’m dating saying he could kick their asses, f*ck me better than them, how much more successful he is than them. Most recently he even said how much more attractive and successful he is than ME and how dumb I am for not accepting his date. He has said he’s cried nights because of me, he doesn’t even want to go on living, he said he wants to find the current guy I’m dating and put him in the ground. He somehow knows I live with my parents and I don’t know how he does.

What do I do here? I’ve been direct- I’ve told him we will never have a future, I do not feel it for him, etc I’ve always been nice. I’ve tried blocking.

Updates

+1 y

I realized I don’t have his last name... it’s not on his social media. Can the police still figure out who he is based off a phone number and photos and a first name?

[Andres77]

Report it as harassment.
At least his name will be recorded associated with belligerent behavior.
Tell him you reported him.

A smart person doesn't have to tell you they're smart.
A generous person doesn't have to tell you they're generous.
A trustworthy person doesn't have to tell you they're trustworthy.
A con-man does.

Stay the course.
If he approaches you in public and tries to talk to you... you've already been polite... he's used all his second chances... if he tries to talk to you in public tell him loudly so everyone can hear "I've reported your harassment to the police. Stop stalking me!"
He'll leave.
And... watch your back.

[Andres77]

Just give them every social media site name as well.
Get it on record. They might not be able to do anything drastic now but the sooner it's documented the better. And if he escalates you have someone who already knows what is going on and can help without having to do all the background again.
Note: all the civil disturbances that have been happening, riots, looting, street crime, murders... your case, depending where you are they might not be able to give it a high priority... so self-defense is right around the corner.
Don't be scared, be prepared.
Good luck, seriously.

[Honesttguy]

Look at you poor thing clueless on how close you are to being raped. He probably already have pictures of you at his place, that he jerks off and cums on your printed face.
And tell your boyfriend that this dude wants to kill him, so he can watch his back and not be clueless when someone smashes hammer in his face.
Stop hoping for best, prepare for worst. Murder and rape. World is not paradise people kill eachother for 5$ in pocket.

[slackbabbath]

Ugh the thought of him doing that makes me sick. He told me he has a seen my photos on tinder and that I’m “looking for something” bc it’s of my backside in a dress... it creeped me out a little. Lol my friend told me to tell him the boyfriend thing too, I just may.

[slackbabbath]

People are so scary :/

[A_Bell]

It's time to go to the police. Take all the evidence you have. Maybe even talk to a private attorney (get a consultation) who deals with family law and has experience in protective orders.

Unlike most of the women complaining about men posts here, your situation sounds like it is blossoming into something dangerous.

[slackbabbath]

Ok, thank you. I will do that.

[Agape93]

Keep the original records of all his calls and texts between you two, and print them. If he contacts you, record it and save it. If you tell him you want to be left alone, record it.


Then go to the courthouse and ask for a restraining order, and give the evidence to them.

[Still-alive]

ohhh getting out the big guns lol

[Agape93]

Mamas been through this before lol no need to play around with it.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think this is a shame he's put you through all of this and yes you need to let the authorities know about him cause he wants to put other guys you date in the ground which means 6 feet below this is serious and he does sound dangerous and there would be no way, you should ever trust him, cause he could do anything but the guy
needs professional help mentally wise and put on medication, he could have bipolar
which is a horrible mental health illness, I know before I was put on medication
I could not sleep at night, years ago I did all kind of things that were wrong, once I got on Seroquel, Depakote, Klonopin I was able to handle things better and I don't
hide things I tell the truth.. I wish you the best to solve these matters 👼🙏

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@slackbabbath Yes, police can fax a request to Facebook for them to freeze his Facebook account and they will use his pictures and First name. They can take control of his account and also might offer to use your account to see if he's harassing or saying anything that is threatening they will see what he says to you but the guy sounds dangerous and not letting you be is sign you need to file a police report or take messages sent to you from him and take it to your local magistrate and they will contact the police and he can get fine and/ or jail time for harassment by communications and don't fall for his pitty messages such as self harm cause the guy needs help

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@slackbabbath Police can get his password and see every message he sent you

[Anonymous]

The guy clearly has issues! Cut ALL contact! (Because he will see that as interest on your part). And if he starts hassling you report it to the police. I had a similar thing happen and my male work college reported him, turns out he had diagnosed mental disorder than can make him danger so he was banned from my place of work.

[slackbabbath]

Yeah that’s what kills me! I will be so blunt and tell him how I feel but instead he will twist it and say, well you’re responding to me and you haven’t blocked me which means you must have interest in me and you’re just denying your feelings otherwise you would have blocked me

[slackbabbath]

Like? That’s so twisted

[slackbabbath]

I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a mental disorder too. Something seems off

[Opinion Owner]

So just don’t reply to that, you’ve said all you needed to. He’ll know if you completely ignore him 100%.

[EmmaMary]

You keep all the text messages etc. and report him immediately to the police authorities, stating grounds that he is constantly stalking you, mand that you are in fear of not just your life, but those that you are seeing and are close to you.

[EmmaMary]

*and*

[FlowerSeeds]

You need to seriously go to the cops as soon as possible and make sure you're safe because he could end up killing you and hurting you and you don't want that please be safe and go to the cops.

[Agape93]

Exactly! Like if a friend of mine was going through this, her ass would be at my place within the hour. Not a thing would touch her until it blows over.

[FlowerSeeds]

For real like who does this guy think he is I mean no means no it doesn't mean stalk this poor person until she has no choice but to go to the cops...

[Agape93]

Agreed. And guys like that are the ones that end up on the news about some poor girl getting raped, kidnapped and/or killed.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Record everything with screenshots + timestamps and file a harassment report to the police.

[Jessica405]

Try and get an injunction against him. This is nothing short of harassment. He also sounds like a typical control freak.

[Poppymarie]

This sounds like stalking and I believe that you are in danger. Please go to the police. Keep your messages from him so you have proof.

[Diamold]

That doesn't sound healthy at all, that guy might actually start being a dangerous person for you, from day to night.
You should report that to the authorities with all the evidence, as soon as possible.

[RHK36]

Don't talk to him even for a second and report him. Any attention you give him he will see as a sign to keep bothering you.

[Shy_Steve]

Tell everyone you feel like what he is doing because it is wrong.

[DWornock]

Report him for sexual harassments and/or stalking.

[karaspara]

Karate chop

[karaspara]

Yes they should be able to

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

ASAP