How do I get over this?

[Anonymous]

Recently my guy friend has been distant from me and a few months ago I found out he liked me. But then when he started becoming distant he began to act mean towards me too and I was asking him why and what I’ve done to caused his behavior to change.

I talked to my male cousin about it who is also friends with him and he talked to the guy, come to find out he likes someone else now and kept quiet about it. I’ve literally wasted my time on him trying to fix our friendship just for it to turn out that he likes another girl and using her to get over me.

I don't know who the other girl is, but I feel like she might be his old co-worker who he had a crush on and when she left he started talking to me more etc.

He’s basically that type of person who talks to multiple girls and have a bunch of crushes but can’t make up his mind on who he wants to date. I can’t stand guys who confuse themselves by having several options and can’t settle with one freakin girl and wasting the other ones time. Like if you’re not ready for her leave her alone.

It makes me have trust issues with men now. I know it’s not all but I’ve dealt with that shit before with men who can never be honest and upfront. Then wonder why none of the girls want him.

And I have to see him at work everyday, how do I stay away from him?

Updates

+1 y

And I don’t wanna hear that he has the right to keep his options open. It’s fine as long as the other girls know about it so they don’t think they’re the only one when really they’re not. It’s very wrong and fucked up.

[Anonymous]

You found out he liked you. You never once said you liked him back or told him you liked him.

So I assume you didn't.

In which case, while his behaviour is a bit bad, it's only a tiny bit bad. You have no reason to be upset, and no reason to think that this reflects on all men.

It only reflects on all men, if you treat all men who like you in this way. Because most of them would react the same to that treatment.

[Asker]

I did tell him I liked him and he acted like he didn’t know what to say. I even asked him out a few weeks ago and he told me yeah as long as it wasn’t too hot outside. But at that point it was basically too late but I did let him know how I felt

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, well the best thing is to learn from this.
If a guy says he likes you, don't string him along. If you like him say so, if you don't like him say so. If you don't respond positively, he could assume a negative.

Most guys will not pursue a girl who isn't interested, so you can expect him to back off. And most guys will use another girl to get over a girl they were into, so you can expect him to find some meaningless strange to get over the sting of telling you he likes you and being shot down.

[Asker]

Yeah I have a problem being myself around him since he was a crush and I get socially awkward

[FlowerSeeds]

I'm really sorry he did that to you, just try to watch YouTube videos on how to get over rejection, like I went through it I know it's not easy and it hurts but there is someone out there who won't put you through that okay good luck

[Shah11]

@flowerseeds

Only brain dead guy reject the heart like you.

[FlowerSeeds]

@Shah11 *hugs you* thank you 💓

[Shah11]

@flowerseeds

Thanks sweety you Made my day ❤️

[loveslongnails]

How old are you both actually?

[Asker]

I’m 22 he is 20 turning 21 soon

[loveslongnails]

I thought so. You're dealing with an emotional child. You're 22 going on 25 and he's 21 going on 17. Those numbers don't work. By the way, this statement here: " It makes me have trust issues with men now." Nothing is "making you" do anything... you are choosing to do it. You're taking the actions of one man, or maybe a few, and declaring yourself to now own "an issue". Why would you do that?

You may have to date a LOT of men until you find one who will be direct, honest and straight up with you, and believe me, they are saying the exact same thing about women. So be cautious for sure, but don't throw everyone under the bus. You get over it by realizing he's a kid who has no idea what he WANTS or what he's doing in the mean time.