My boyfriend is very controlling and it’s draining me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I just started a new job at the airport. I clean the airplanes and since I’ve started my coworkers have been friendly and talkative with me and common courtesy, is for me to speak back. Just friendly conversation but also gossiping about other co workers. There’s this one gay guy that I work with who talks to me Everytime I work with him. Today when I came in, I came early, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, my boyfriend heard his voice and said “Is that a guy you’re talking to?” And I said yes but he doesn’t like women. It was almost time for me to clock in, I got off the phone and before I did I told him that I loved him and he told me to call him on my break. The guy then starts to gossip about our co worker but she walked into the room so he asked me to put my number into his phone so he could text me and gossip rather than verbally do it. I’m not the type to gossip but I’m not rude so I won’t just walk off while you’re talking. I informed my boyfriend about it. I told him I gave him my number and the reason why and reminded him he wasn’t straight. He texted me” Don’t give your number to anyone. You’re not at work to make friends or gossip. You’re at work to work.” I explained to him I wasn’t the one gossiping, he goes “I don’t want to hear anything else about it. That’s it that’s all. Never give out your number, wtf.” His exact words and this isn’t the first time he’s been controlling like this. It doesn’t help than when cleaning planes we’re put into groups of either 2 or 3 so sometimes I will be paired just me and another guy or Me and 2 other guys or me, a guy and a girl but I know he will hate the thought of me working with a guy in general especially when it’s just me and the guy and no one else and it isn’t like I can say “Hey, don’t pair me with a guy, my boyfriend doesn’t like it.” And it doesn’t help he starts to work with me, cleaning planes as well soon and when he sees that set up who knows how he’s gonna react.

[hahahmm]

Sounds like he doesn't want you to talk to ANYBODY on earth. That is a symptom of someone who doesn't want you to have a good life. I'm not saying that I think it's a crime for a person to ever be jealous or that it's always good to talk to co-workers after hours but sounds like what you did is pretty harmless.

Side note - "he's not into women" is pretty meaningless. I've seen many instances where a guy who seemed to be super gay & talked about his gay life all the time later turned out to really be bi. But since there's zero indication that the guy wants to get with you it doesn't really matter.

[hahahmm]

When you figure out who you are... it's easier to set your boundaries and to know instantly if what someone wants is reasonable or not. I've written some MyTakes related to that but they're geared up for people looking for traditional relationships.

[Browneye57]

A wall of text... uh no, didn't read.
If you don't really like your guy then next him and find one you do. Simple as that.
You're only 'drained' cuz you choose to be. Or are you saying you've turned over power over yourself, your emotions, your thoughts and feelings, to someone or something else?

[Jessica405]

Walk away now. This is typical behavour of a control freak. It gets worse. The longer and closer you get, the more paranoid he will get. He will become more insecure and scared of losing you, and so will become more controlling.

He does not own you, and should not issue orders like he does. You are still an individual and can do as you please, within the bounds of a relationship.

It really would be better to bail out now. The longer you leave it, the harder it will get.

[Anonymous]

tell your boyfriend to go fuck himself the worthless piece of shit. drop his ass and find someone better. he's a lowlife piece of shit. Listen this psychopath is giving all the red flags of abuse it's bad enough he's abusing you mentally and emotionally do you want him to start abusing you physically? In the words of Damon and Marlon Wayne's "Run Bitch Run"

[Asker]

I guess I what keeps me with him is he isn’t always like that, he has a sweet side. He cooks for me, protects me from any and everything, he makes me laugh and we get along with when he isn’t being controlling so it’s like do I take the good with the bad?

[Opinion Owner]

uh he's a fucking psycho what part of that aren't you getting? look my significant other has gay friends and i talk to them quite a lot and like them as well. quit being in denial he's a controlling psycho and if you aren't careful it could become physical

[Opinion Owner]

he cooks and protects you big deal i do that with my significant other too. it's a guy's job to protect the love of his life and to provide for them. he's a psycho how many more red flags do you need waved in your face before you realize it

[Asker]

You’re right, my best chance of leaving would be tonight when I get off work, usually he’ll meet me at my train stop and we’ll go back to his place but he already had a fit when I didn’t come back to his house last night after work but instead went to my parents house and if I just disappear and tell him I’m done I know he’s gonna make me feel horrible about it and say that was my plan along and that’s why I started working, to get away from him and find a reason to get upset with him and leave. I know only because I’ve left before for the same repast and he pulled that and then gave me the sweet “I’ll stop being so controlling. I can’t help it. I just don’t want to lose you.” Etc etc and fail for it.

[Opinion Owner]

you already know what you have to do you saw how he acted in the past he says he'll change but he doesn't RUN before it gets worse

[Waldoe]

he sounds VERY insecure and immature as well, when he grows up, he will be ready to date a real human. No guy can be everything to his girl... she will always need other friends as well, if you end up married, will he demand that you stay Inside the home when he is away? Be careful who you decide to spend time with

[jshm2]

You've a rather shitty life if you're attracting these sorts of guys and co workers.

Ditch both freaks and turn your life around.

[Mofunfour20]

If you haven't left because of it stop trying to control him. I think thats why you haven't left

[spartan55]

Wtf are you with a guy like that for? Dump him TODAY.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

At your age? Leave. YOU DONT NEED TO BE LOCKED DOWN, AT YOUR AGE

[Asker]

Yea, I just turned 25. Still in school, working

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

exactly. you don't need to be strapped down

also, if you're 25, why does it say you're 18-24

[Asker]

Also, I’ve be been going to work from his house everyday, I haven’t been home to see my parents and last night when I decided to go to my parents house after work rather than his, he threw a fit. And went on about how he hates feeling alone. He says I should want to be with him all the time because we’re in a relationship and he should
Be the Person I want to see and be around more often than anyone else

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Sounds immature

[VikingWarLord]

You're too young to be in a strictly committed relationship any damn way, leave it.

[CoolGuy7532]

It's time to ditch the loser.

[Den1971]

Burn the fuck off. It'll get worse

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

Who wants a bitch with a boyfriend?

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

Who wants a bitch with a male? Or with mail?

[postaldudePL123]

Dump him and get out!

[In_Trance]

dump him

[Anonymous]

ummm LEAVE