Does a controlling relationship get any better possibly when married or in future?

[Anonymous]

i been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now at first he was very nice and sweet and caring then soon we intro our partners to family and then official.

So he is very controlling always calling me well too much texting me a lot where i am what im doing. He was hurt in the past so i just deal with it so he knows i am not the same and i do love him but i did a stupid mistake i fallen for someone else soo much nicer and easy going i did hug him and said i liked him but i can't leave my boyfriend.

Me n my boyfriend went through a lot esp me. He goes through my whatsapp sneakingly and stays over and has all my passwords to my account for couple of years naw and this new guy i feel so different with him but we can't talk so i cut him off.

I dont know if it was worth it? But he is a very jealous type my boyfriend he even argued with my own mates on my insta replying to them when its my account!

I don't know and we still together just on and off he always breaking up with me n then back why? shouldn't it be me😂☠️?

He might ask to marry me i dont know if i want to or should i. For us Asians its very imp to marry but i can choose who to ofc its just that i spent soo much of my history years with him but it isn't going well

will it improve?

[BlueEyedBirdWatcher]

No, marriage will give him more power and sense of possession.
Think about it, he will jointly own your house, your car, your phone, you will share bank accounts.
That is so much power.
You are young, there are other men in the world, apparently ones that are in to you, don't waste your life on a long shot of him changing.

[Anonymous]

No it will only get worse with him. People who are like that are people you should avoid as much as possible.

[Asker]

so i think i shouldve possibly left him and choosen that guy who i also liked but i didn't think it was worth the risk since my boyfriend and me have years of history

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, controlling people will often escalate into abuse. They typically try to get you to isolate yourself. And then once they've managed that; they become abusive so that you feel trapped with no where to go and no one to turn to.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No.

Issues always get worse with marriage, not better.

Controlling people get way worse once they have legal connections to you.

Break it off. Dump him and find someone better.

[Asker]

so he is controlling isn't he? I have been on and off with him for years so i dont know if it will get worse sure we argue a lot because of him. I did leave but then got back with him while i was talking to the guy who liked me because he fpund out so i had to choose my boyfriend and yh.

Then me n the guy reconnected but i felt to sad to leave him again which i had to im just confused

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Stop dating and take some time to get your shit together, then.

Sit down with yourself and really try to figure out what you want and what you'll tolerate.

Without knowing that for yourself, you're going to keep putting yourself in these positions.

As for whether or not he's controlling, my philosophy is that if you get the feeling he is, then he is. Everyone's tolerance for what's considered "controlling" or not is unique to them.

Again, why it's important for you to take time to figure yourself out a bit.

[Anonymous]

No it usually gets worse once you are married. Dump him and date the new guy.

[Asker]

hiw does it get worse when married?

[Opinion Owner]

They become abusive.

[Asker]

he never raise his hand on me no just arguements

[Opinion Owner]

He's holding off on the abuse until he has completely isolated you.