Should you improve yourself just for the sake of trying to attract women?

Question

Soremain · Accepted Answer

For sure. I know people always say you should improve yourself for your own sake but lets be honest, people wouldn't even shower more than once a week if it was just for themselves.

Besides if a relationship or just getting laid is what you want, and you can improve your chances by improving yourself in some ways, then you're doing it for yourself.

DWornock · Accepted Answer

Of course! That is what men do. We are motivated to marry or fuck the prettiest women we can get. Always, other men are our competition; and, if they are more desirable, women will choose them instead of me.

ManOnFire · Answer

I like this question. And to answer I would give a big  No . Self-improvement means exactly that: improving your life for  yourself  because you want better than what is at present. Any attraction it brings you with women is just an added bonus. However, be careful of the kinds of women who might be into you because of what you've cultivated for yourself; some will see it or use it as some kind of opportunity for their benefit, especially if you've improved your life financially or even physically. Sometimes a woman will see what you have and jump over to you because she's trying to make her ex or another guy jealous, who you may know absolutely nothing about. Or she's simply into you because she likes the image of you with her. A woman should be attracted to you because she genuinely likes you, likes being around you, feels that you are positive energy for her, and feels that you are a necessary person for her life. Not because of your car, money, or gym habits.

Anonymous · Answer

As long as you are happy about yourself and think you are a good person as is, then sure, why not improve in a way so more people will like you :).. as long as you don't compromise on the person you are.
I think, for example, many (especially men) think too little about their appearance. Like a haircut now and then would make a great improvement. I am sure some men only go to the hairdresser so others will not think their hair is odd, though they do not care about the hair themself.
Honestly, I am also like that half the time myself. I just put my hair up and don't think about it. If I had a man who cared and complimented me when making an effort I would do more. I don't think that is wrong.. just time I don't want to waste when single and not dating :D

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Many people will try to sound wise by talking about how you should want to do it for yourself, but let’s be real, it’s always about other people even if you pretend it’s for yourself.

I lift weights and dress well. I like to look good. When I look good I feel good. That’s me doing it for me right? But the reason it makes me feel good is because other people will see me looking good too.

If I feel good because I look attractive, attractive to who? Myself? I’m not trying to have sex with myself.

We all do things to be attractive to the opposite sex. We all look for external validation to some extent. We always have and we always will, it’s completely normal.

If you’re skinny/fat and struggle with women, lifting weights to improve your appearance is just common sense. Same for anything else such as improving how you dress, making more money, your social skills, how you interact with women.

Anonymous · Answer

This can be the ‘’ external motivation’’ you can use this for motivate yourself but it is not as effective as ‘’internal motivation’’ that you have motivation inside rather than outside. For example, you can start a play a guitar and learn it well to attract women but if you can not attract women you can lose your motivation easily. But if you want to improve yourself and learn playing the guitar for your own benefit you can not lose your motivation easily whether you are praised or not. I think both of them are beneficial for you to do something but you must not forget that you must try not to use your motivation easily even you can not see the results fast.

Jaysonava · Answer

The older you get the more these questions answer themselves.

As you age you realize that you are not actually distinct from society and the world. You aren't always looking for a way to distinguish yourself.

You are a part of a big society.

And what you do for yourself, you are also doing for others.

Maybe people lose their idealism, maybe they become hypocrites, or corrupt, or maybe they just find out what is important in life. I don't know.

But the more you experience life the more the distinction between your own values, and other people's values, gets soft.

Crmolon · Answer

If I could offer advice, I would say try not to do it for women. When you do something to yourself for other people it can get a little out of control. I would say exercise for yourself, teach yourself to show up for yourself, tune into yourself and make time for you. The ladies will follow 🤗

Jonny59 · Answer

I was thinking about this too
but in reality you do this to improve yourself you want to be stronger and have tons of testosterone etc more strength

in general you attract girls of course if you have nice body BUT you should never do this for the sake of impressing girls

i've seen overweight guys dating fit girls or even non fit girls beautiful ones
its not about body image but you really need to have normal body or close to normal one
every single body is FINE as long as its not OBESE this is the worst type
I used to be OBESE it sucks now I feel like I can conquer the world in gym it feels amazing

Anon621 · Answer

In my opinion if your goal is to make yourself look better to impress some people sure you'll impress people but I guarantee you once they see your true intentions or even better if your being honest with them about why you want to improve yourself to impress people they're gonna leave quicker than a lion chasing a gazelle

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I know we're "supposed" to do it for ourselves, not women. But let's ve honest, without the desire to attract women, most men would cease having any motivation to move up in the world. At least you can be aware of that desire and be honest with yourself about it. The outcome is the same either way, whether you self-improve for yourself or for women.

Mango-man · Answer

Doing it just for the sake of attracting women is both strong and weak motivator. Strong in early phases, but once you start getting results it becomes weak motivator (ie. "Why should I spend more time improving myself, if my current level works").
I personally would try to find more lasting motivator such as health benefits, wanting to have better control over your body, the good feeling after breaking your own limits,...

lightbulb27 · Answer

no way, they don't care as much as we'd like to think. do it for yourself so you feel good, stay in good health, and can do what you want to do without getting injured.

work on your emotional self would be more valuable, understanding, interpersonal skills, communication. that's more beneficial.

Lliam · Answer

Yes, it you are interested in attracting a quality woman. Improving yourself shows ambition and gumption. It shows that you take pride in yourself.

A healthy, smart, attractive woman with a good personality wants a man she can look up to and depend on. She doesn't want a lazy slug. She also wants a sexual partner who turns her on.

ZDoes · Answer

Sweetie, it's the driving force behind everything bi sexual, hetero flexible and straight men do. The biological mandate to bump uglies is all encompassing. And we will reach for the lowest beach that has demonstrated to be desirable by the focus of our desires

Slartybartfast · Answer

That's why men work more overtime, take dangerous jobs, it's why I worked 80+ hours a week , why I bought my first house etc etc etc.

Women wait at the finish line and pick the winners. You're ether a winner, or you're invisible to them.

After a while most guy understand it was never worth it.

Question_091 · Answer

No, because being a boyfriend/husband/parent is a full time job, woo your woman occasionally so things don't go stale. You should be the best quality person for you, so that those qualities stick, whether in a relationship or not. That way, you're secure in yourself despite rejection; simply live and learn.

Anonymous · Answer

No you shouldn’t do that just because you want to attract more women. You should do it for yourself and I’d say as long as you feel good about yourself you’ll attract the right person:)

Anonymous · Answer

Obviously they want you to do it.
They just get swept up in this idea that "you're doing it for yourself".
They're not fooling anyone but themselves. It's just word play: They like men who "be themselves" provided "themselves" is the things women want in men. You can listen to what they say and take them seriously, but don't take them literally. Listen for all the things omitted or being danced around.

Browneye57 · Answer

No. Do it for YOU. And you'll have all the pussy you can stand - I guarantee it.

Coulis · Answer

No, you do it for yoursf. Your confidence and self-validation will attract them. And you will still feel good if you don't. Watch out for the narcissists! They feed on this.

Dorothy83 · Answer

I think it’s important to keep improving yourself possible making you more Desirable.

FreeOhSeven · Answer

You should improve yourself for you. If part of that is attracting women who would be more attracted to you if you are healthier then by all means do it, as long as you are the reason. You’ll know what your driving force is if things don’t work out between you and the lady.

Anonymous · Answer

The single most attractive quality in a man is for him to have drive, a life purpose, and a mission.
If his life purpose revolves around getting women, he automatically becomes low value in the eyes of women.

anylolone · Answer

Nope, you should improve yourself for your sake, and that also includes the well being of others but one must not confuse the acceptance of others (specially since people rarely see all others or have a track record of being consistently attracted to reciprocity) with their well being.

The attraction of women is just a natural consequence.

Ms_Vanderquack · Answer

No, you should improve yourself for the sake of being a better person.

15_Debo · Answer

Of course
Thanks to that woman
at least in the mission of attracting her he's keeping himself healthy
LOL joking...
be yourself if they don't like u being urself then u may change but
I would never change myself for some other guy!!

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

If you do things for the sake of others you're always gonna be disappointed because everyone has different standards. If you wanna improve yourself, do it so you like who you are, and from there you'll attract the right people

hahahmm · Answer

No. You improve yourself to be the best man you can be. The fact women are into this is just a side effect.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

No. You should do self-improvement for your own benefit and for the benefit of those you love. Getting women will just be a side effect.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I mean yeah, if that's your reason. Goals should be achieved by whatever means necessary. You don't have to restrict yourself with extra arbitrary rules. Just use whatever works. If getting a girl is your motivation, then use that!

Jake99999 · Answer

No you should do it for yourself. But if that is what motivates you to improve, then go for it. We could all use some improving.

MCheetah · Answer

Doesn't seem like a good idea. I'd say "you should only improve for yourself," but improvement is improvement.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Improving yourself is good regardless of the motive, I could never find a guy that would motivate me but money motivated me

Mofunfour20 · Answer

If thats what you want then yes. Success helps, along with a gym membership

sp33d · Answer

Learning to cook / working out etc etc happens to have the potential to attract women. I don't think that should be your primary goal. Up to you, really. If you can achieve your goal (s), whatever they are, then you're doing something right.

Mangospacho · Answer

Only if it’s something you “should” improve. If it’s just something you improve only to impress someone else, probably not. If it’s something that will improve your health and attract someone, then absolutely.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

First and foremost it should be done for your health. Second to try go around and have a good quality life for those you dare about that are a part of your life.

Kaamraj · Answer

Nope, you improve yourself for yourself, women are the byproducts. The less you care about them, the more they care about you.

ChiTown33 · Answer

F*** no! That should be the last reason. Do it because you value yourself. Do it because you want to put the finishing touches on that masterpiece God created. But don't ever do it for someone else!

DonkeyDan · Answer

No you should never improve yourself for anyone else. Improve yourself for you and only you.

NathanDavis · Answer

eliminating this idea from your mentality... will be improvement, and for the sake of your self

Iron_Man · Answer

Health is number one overall after that is for self-defense in the streets against a holes then number three is getting a girlfriend that’s why you have to go to the gym to be looking good

TexasRed95 · Answer

So thats not exactly a good reason in my opinion. Now if you want actual companionship and not just one night stands that's a bit different. I believe that any self improvement is typically good.

SamFromFL · Answer

Don’t fall into that trap. Think of the most successful guys that attract girls and they do it for their passions: artists, musicians, doctors, ceos… set and achieve goals to make yourself better.

Dragonpurple · Answer

Depends, are you improving yourself to get laid, or get someone and then let yourself go?

DudeFromZ · Answer

You should always improve yourself... Now your reason may not be sustainable... But at least you'll be better off and you might even make a habit of it

Anonymous · Answer

One would think you would do it for yourself first. If you could be better, would you want to be?

moviedude714 · Answer

I figure it doesn't do any harm but people say the right mindset is for yourself

LisaRaven · Answer

You should improve yourself for you. If you are motivated by doing it for others (women or men) and they don't take notice it may be disappointing and cause loss of motivation. But, if you do it for yourself any attention is bonus.

PoliteSpeaker · Answer

No. You don't improve yourself to get. You improve yourself to grow.

dudeinohio · Answer

It's ok as long as you are still. yourself. if you have to. lose anything about yourself, then it isn't worth it.

backblueblack22 · Answer

Actually from a Freudian perspective this is what most people subconsciously do whether they admit or not.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

No. That's a foolish thing to do and will ultimately prove a losing proposition. It's safest to improve yourself for yourself only.

Glasgow55 · Answer

It's as good a reason as any. But everyone should always be looking to be a better human being, in my opinion.

es20490446e · Answer

Shall you clean your house just for the sake of impressing other people?

Dude_777 · Answer

Never ever do it for someone else. Do it for yourself tbh and you will stay motivated

GlovewithLove · Answer

No. Do it f or yourself. To feel better and stronger.

Joker_ · Answer

Yeah, but before you know it - you'll be improving yourself solely for the sake of impressing other men

m33lad · Answer

I live in South Asia! I want them to leave me alone. They’re dumb as fk here

blondfrog · Answer

I've tried that it doesn't work. You have to want it yourself.

sexscientist · Answer

O fuck ya. That alone is a great reason. Among many others. But it doesn’t have to be in the gym, could be any type of improvement I think.

Should you improve yourself just for the sake of trying to attract women?

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