Why do some guys come off so strong at the beginning stages?

Question

Like he’s already mentioned the 2nd date when we haven’t been on our first one yet. And kids. It has seriously put me off. Why do some guys behave like this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Be alert. he's testing you to see how far you agree. He's trying to convince u as soon as possible that he's someone u can trust so that he can get laid with you faster.

Take it slow and see where it goes. If he doesn't take it slow thats a red flag. If he's pushy thats a red flag.
If he gets bored and loses interest in you, you'll know he was full of shit and all the pretty things he was telling u in the beginning were lies.

I wish i knew this when i was younger. I fell for a guy who asked me to be his girlfriend on the first date and by the 3rd he was talking about moving in together. Needless to say after we had sex he ghosted me

Maria-88 · Accepted Answer

I believe it’s something out of Mother Nature male species does a dance for female some fight over a mate. This human version of it.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

Maybe it's you, perhaps you have to stop being so charming. Or maybe the guy is just trying to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. Guys have to play a game, wear nice clothes, have a nice car wear tatoos and make up a backstory. Usually with a really sad part, like 😭😭😭😭 my mom has cancer. I heard that one when taking a female friend of mine out. I was thinking to myself why are you at the bar picking women up while your mom is dying? Anyways, I think in that case its a bit of both, you're cute young, and if he knows you studied law; he's going to lay all the cards on the table. You get your pick of a male partner. Maybe if the men in your life spend more time to get to know you, what makes you smile, what makes you sad. I think if they had the same goals aligned with yours, you might find the one. You have to define what you want in a boyfriend, you can't just say I want a boyfriend. Because 1. The guy you were talking to obviously likes you. 2. Any guy on GAG that is single would date you. So, I would recommend some basic standards. Like a job or he has to be the lead of a rock band. Remember you are the money maker so you can bring home the income and take care of your rock star. Maybe you like an Italian farmer, or a really smart man. Well I hope you find what you are looking for.

TheorionMage · Answer

Only a supposition but he wants you to perceive him as a 'genuine contender' especially if you're in your 20's (doesn't mean he ACTUALLY is, but he wants YOUR genuine intent too )

Double jeopardy... if you think in terms of fishing lures...
OF COURSE if you're fishing you WANT your prey fish to BELIEVE your lure is 'real' prey and so they strike that lure HARD and entangle themselves. The 'play' begins.

If you're NOT fishing, you hope "She's sincere too and not 'gaming YOU'... a potential LIFETIME pairing. Though not quite the same, men feel that 'biological clock' ticking also. No male's anxious to become the father of a pre-teen juvenile in their senior-most years.
If you're just 'sport' fishing for little more than 'one night stands' its a contest to see if your quarry can be convinced to by-pass their common sense and let their heart (infatuation) govern their behaviors. YOUR mindset will determine if your willing to 'invest' yourself in this 'gambling'.

Why do some guys come off so strong at the beginning stages?

Anonymous · Answer

He probably has an extreme crush on you, and thinks you also have an extreme crush on him (like maybe how you treated him or how you touched/hugged him or talked to him; especially if you called him sweety, hun, sweetheart {those words can get him to think things about you or think you are into him, but I get freaked out when girls near my age call me that; like umm, I don’t know you, save that for your crush or boyfriend, but if I am your crush, or look good to you, it is still way too soon; in fact don’t use those words too soon or too liberally on guys without asking them out first}).

But yeah, ask him directly if you did anything that caused him to think or believe you are into him. After he answers, tell him that he is getting into those things way too soon, that it is best to take it a lot slower, and that you would appreciate it if he stopped doing that, but to not take it personally, and that you and him being together might not be out of the question, but that it is best to not try looking ahead into the future and to focus in the present.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

It's good that he's taking kids early on.

More people should do that - it should never be a surprise when you date to find out the other does/doesn't want kids.

This aside, I guess he's assuming you both like each other enough to talk openly and plan more than one date.

Call him out now if he's being an ass and you don't like what he's doing. You establish what you'll tolerate, give him a taste of what he's in for, and get to see how he reacts to being called out (something you ought to do for someone you love, in my opinion).

jasco · Answer

Because we have no clue what a girl wants. Men usually are get it and get it done quickly types. Women like you anyway would rather take things slow. Men aren't used to that even when their kids. we like to do it and get it over with. Some of us more so than others. Honestly tho if ladies would start telling guys what turnt them off, this wouldn't be happening as much

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I have zero idea. This happens with women too so it's a weird thing some people do. I had a first date with a woman once where she asked me how long would I take to propose to a woman as if it was a standard amount of time for everyone I would potentially date lol. I was tempted to say right now! But i was scared she'd say yes and that would have been mean lol.

I did say to her that answering that takes all the fun out of it which she accepted but she asked a bunch of weird questions for a first date.

raw_is_war99 · Answer

Ok, talking about kids and a second date is strong. But I guess for a guy, he’ll assume because something is clicking right away that translates to thinking ahead. Which is obviously not the case. A girl usually has to be emotionally invested to think that far ahead. Guys/men look at the physical first, and if things are clicking in terms of conversation that’s when guys/men get ahead of themselves. I’ve been guilty doing this before. But for me, I did that because I know this girl had other options and was talking to other guys so I felt the need to swoop in and talk to her. But it doesn’t work, it’s a process. It depends who you’re with.

Ceslovas · Answer

Because they scared. it feels terrible inside their mind get rejected. Onnan inside we feel like boys and Woman we like she is like our goddess, we want to please to have that attention from her we so need. it covers wounds, vulnerability, fear of abandnment because deep deep inside I know i feel i can surrender in her arms and heal that 'boy'inside so I no longer need armour. I am whole inside. I am a Man woman needs!

That's why Women and Men needs each other. Everyone who tells different will lie. It's by God's design.

Honesttguy · Answer

Simple answer. Stress. Some people talk a lot when they're in stress, some stay silent.  What do you do when you're stressed?

ohshee · Answer

When a guy does that nine times out of ten it's because he only wants one thing he gets that one thing and then he's gone a guy that really likes you it's going to be very patient and it's not going to be that big of a deal because he's trying to prove himself and who he really is guys that are in a patient are the guys that want it and then they're gone

t-8900 · Answer

Has he had much dating experience? Maybe he's a hopeless romantic. Maybe he's trying to show you he had actual intentions with you. Lots of people are socially awkward today. Trying throwing in some humor to make light of it a bit in a nice way that says "calm down let's take it slow" and see how he responds.

HOAAH · Answer

They have the mentality of "If I don't let her know I like her, another guy will" or something like that, especially if they get the vibe that you are their type.

My husband was like this as well. Our first date, he mentioned that there was only one heir, and that was his brother's son. He totally wanted a son.

RawIronhide · Answer

There's no textbook telling us what to say. Maybe a question you should ask yourself is why it turns you off so much. I mean he hasn't exactly crossed any line. Perhaps you're being a little unreasonable. Just because he doesn't act 100% ideal for you doesn't mean he's done anything wrong.

PoliteSpeaker · Answer

I think it is due to enthusiasm. When you are very enthused or excited about something you have a hard time not sharing it and expressing it. We often make the mistake of not accounting for the fact others aren't perfect. And vice versa we ask strangers who are no better than us or no more aware than us for advice...

zzombie · Answer

I have no clue. I've had guys ask to marry me a week within meeting them... I wish I knew the answer to this question lol. It's flattering and all but cmon... chill.

Pasiton5 · Answer

Well as they say in real estate, location, location, location, just meet the guy, impression impression impression

RealMarek · Answer

The reason could vary depending on the guy, but coming on so strong isn’t good. He might just want to get commitment from you so you date him exclusively.

Djaay · Answer

Genuine ( good intensions ) come out strong and confident and generally reinforce the other persons own emotional state. . Someone who imposters (good intensions ) will sound strong where they're weak , and weak as they try and convince you they're strong leaving a strong after taste of mix emotions. By the way , to the contrary , human emotions aren't gender specific... admitted or not.

NathanDavis · Answer

immature guys do this, yes... idealization without realization yes, that's why

G5TWA1 · Answer

statistically guys "fall in love" faster than girls, he's just excited, if you do go on those dates he will either stay the same get more excited or realise you two don't fit, by the way how long does it usually take for you to start liking someone?

PositiveNote · Answer

Whoooooooaaaaaa!!! The horse left without the wagon!!!

Syrian_survivor · Answer

To prompt false initial attraction which many girls sadly fall for because they listen to their heart before their brain and act too quickly accordingly.

Marg007 · Answer

sounds desperate. however, he might think that makes a woman wet. when he says things like that.,.. you should laugh and say you are funny. if he persists... tell him thats a turn off

No matter what... just keep doing you...

Hairylegs222 · Answer

He's desperate. Some people are desperate. Since you don't like that, there's guys out there that aren't desperate.

Tonita91996 · Answer

To try to get in your pants it is excusable for men to misbehave when women do it we are told to do better.

zagor · Answer

It's not just guys. A while back I dated a girl in her early 20's and she asked me if I wanted kids. I said I hadn't really thought about it and she responded, what, are you going to wait til you're 50?

IcedLemonade · Answer

They didn't get much attention from girls? You know the reason. you're telling me he looks like a dork. Has got a neckbeard and other undesirable traits like a dad bod.

lightbulb27 · Answer

too excited... he's high on the drugs you give off. yes, it works that way for guys too... too interested too early is a turnoff.

Andres77 · Answer

Some guys have an agenda before even getting to know the girl

A_Nihilist · Answer

It could either be that they have not had relationships in a long time and are desperate to cling to that ray of hope.

Or they are new to relationships and are overly excited and don't really know how to act appropriately.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Its usually because she gradually stopped respecting me because she could manipulate me

DonkeyDan · Answer

Wow, that's some red flag waving going on there, I'd be on your guard.

forthright · Answer

Because he's trying to see if you're wife material or not.

EQisKEY · Answer

Because they're "trying" to incept long-term value in their favor for you to let your gaurd down in the short-term.  ... Pathetic, lol.

Iron_Man · Answer

I guess they’re the clingy type they want to have a serious relationship. Maybe you look like a mother figure the sweet mother type Like a good down to earth wife Figure who knows

Jayplays900 · Answer

Cause we gotta assert ourselves, then we can calm down after a while whenever it's offical. It's basically a way to show the best of ourselves before showing off our cons.

Anonymous · Answer

alright bend over I want 19 kids  get to work

Anonymous · Answer

LMFAO! Yeah--some guys have ZERO game! It sounds like this dude is one of them!

Anonymous · Answer

You are going aftet the wrong guys (ones who just want sex), and you are likely pushing away the ones who want to go slow (interested in getting to know you). Tbh that's good for me haha i have no competition

noohair · Answer

This one has me perplexed.  How old is he?  Is he from a strict or religious family?  Is he or his parents foreign born. What is his cultural background?

Anonymous · Answer

He’s probably gay and just wanting to settle down and have some biological kids.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Because there stupid thats why. you can get at no girl all tough easy on my monster.

Asianguy123 · Answer

Because time is ticking. Some guys want to make a family right away. Maybe you are not ready. Just tell him that you are not interested to have a kid now.

MrSwisher · Answer

in my experience it's just because my social skills are non existent but that's just me

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why some girls come off so strong at the beginning stages

Twalli · Answer

Well if you're against anything it's better to know before getting too deep

invalid1 · Answer

It's probably the need.

Nik1hil · Answer

You found this cartoon online..

Ephemera1 · Answer

Yikes he sounds psycho ruuuun

anylolone · Answer

Same reason some girls do that.

Wise4myage · Answer

That's a sign of desperation.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

He's probably nervous

coconuts4516 · Answer

Trying to impress you.

Sampan2017 · Answer

Not all may be he is the one

Better_off_here · Answer

men are just annoying is all i have to say.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

You asked this before, right?

Anonymous · Answer

What?

Why do some guys come off so strong at the beginning stages?

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