Why do some guys come off so strong at the beginning stages?

[Alyssa11]

Like he’s already mentioned the 2nd date when we haven’t been on our first one yet. And kids. It has seriously put me off. Why do some guys behave like this?

[Anonymous]

Be alert. he's testing you to see how far you agree. He's trying to convince u as soon as possible that he's someone u can trust so that he can get laid with you faster.

Take it slow and see where it goes. If he doesn't take it slow thats a red flag. If he's pushy thats a red flag.
If he gets bored and loses interest in you, you'll know he was full of shit and all the pretty things he was telling u in the beginning were lies.

I wish i knew this when i was younger. I fell for a guy who asked me to be his girlfriend on the first date and by the 3rd he was talking about moving in together. Needless to say after we had sex he ghosted me

[Opinion Owner]

By the way he also mentioned he wanted kids and pushed for raw sex. When i got a pregnancy scare he immediately asked for an abortion go figure

[Alyssa11]

Oh wow!!

[t-8900]

the dude you were with sounds like a monster.

[InventorofWarp]

Well, yes and no.
If he pushes for sex, drop him.

If he's like me, he's just a hopeless romantic who legitimately just wants to find the mother of his children and hasn't a fucking clue about normal Human dating rituals. Just hopelessly naive.

[rosemilk]

I’m not sure what you were thinking to allow this behavior. Yikes

[Opinion Owner]

@rosemilk i was young and naive. Plus i didn't have much experience talking to guys and i didn't know how much people could lie

[Opinion Owner]

Thank u for MH💓

[Maria-88]

I believe it’s something out of Mother Nature male species does a dance for female some fight over a mate. This human version of it.

[Maria-88]

Thank You

[t-8900]

in Sarmatian culture the women killed a man in battle and got to select a husband after... but she also had to remove one of her breasts and seer it so she could shoot a bow from horseback >.>

[Crazybeeguy]

Maybe it's you, perhaps you have to stop being so charming. Or maybe the guy is just trying to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. Guys have to play a game, wear nice clothes, have a nice car wear tatoos and make up a backstory. Usually with a really sad part, like 😭😭😭😭 my mom has cancer. I heard that one when taking a female friend of mine out. I was thinking to myself why are you at the bar picking women up while your mom is dying? Anyways, I think in that case its a bit of both, you're cute young, and if he knows you studied law; he's going to lay all the cards on the table. You get your pick of a male partner. Maybe if the men in your life spend more time to get to know you, what makes you smile, what makes you sad. I think if they had the same goals aligned with yours, you might find the one. You have to define what you want in a boyfriend, you can't just say I want a boyfriend. Because 1. The guy you were talking to obviously likes you. 2. Any guy on GAG that is single would date you. So, I would recommend some basic standards. Like a job or he has to be the lead of a rock band. Remember you are the money maker so you can bring home the income and take care of your rock star. Maybe you like an Italian farmer, or a really smart man. Well I hope you find what you are looking for.

[Alyssa11]

This guy has a good job too lol so I don't think it's the money.

[Crazybeeguy]

I am curious what would get you to say yes to a guy being your boyfriend. Then what would you consider husband material. Do you have too many choices so it's hard to make a decision?

[TheorionMage]

Only a supposition but he wants you to perceive him as a 'genuine contender' especially if you're in your 20's (doesn't mean he ACTUALLY is, but he wants YOUR genuine intent too )

Double jeopardy... if you think in terms of fishing lures...
OF COURSE if you're fishing you WANT your prey fish to BELIEVE your lure is 'real' prey and so they strike that lure HARD and entangle themselves. The 'play' begins.

If you're NOT fishing, you hope "She's sincere too and not 'gaming YOU'... a potential LIFETIME pairing. Though not quite the same, men feel that 'biological clock' ticking also. No male's anxious to become the father of a pre-teen juvenile in their senior-most years.
If you're just 'sport' fishing for little more than 'one night stands' its a contest to see if your quarry can be convinced to by-pass their common sense and let their heart (infatuation) govern their behaviors. YOUR mindset will determine if your willing to 'invest' yourself in this 'gambling'.

[Anonymous]

He probably has an extreme crush on you, and thinks you also have an extreme crush on him (like maybe how you treated him or how you touched/hugged him or talked to him; especially if you called him sweety, hun, sweetheart {those words can get him to think things about you or think you are into him, but I get freaked out when girls near my age call me that; like umm, I don’t know you, save that for your crush or boyfriend, but if I am your crush, or look good to you, it is still way too soon; in fact don’t use those words too soon or too liberally on guys without asking them out first}).

But yeah, ask him directly if you did anything that caused him to think or believe you are into him. After he answers, tell him that he is getting into those things way too soon, that it is best to take it a lot slower, and that you would appreciate it if he stopped doing that, but to not take it personally, and that you and him being together might not be out of the question, but that it is best to not try looking ahead into the future and to focus in the present.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

It's good that he's taking kids early on.

More people should do that - it should never be a surprise when you date to find out the other does/doesn't want kids.

This aside, I guess he's assuming you both like each other enough to talk openly and plan more than one date.

Call him out now if he's being an ass and you don't like what he's doing. You establish what you'll tolerate, give him a taste of what he's in for, and get to see how he reacts to being called out (something you ought to do for someone you love, in my opinion).

[jasco]

Because we have no clue what a girl wants. Men usually are get it and get it done quickly types. Women like you anyway would rather take things slow. Men aren't used to that even when their kids. we like to do it and get it over with. Some of us more so than others. Honestly tho if ladies would start telling guys what turnt them off, this wouldn't be happening as much

[Alyssa11]

I feel like this is the best answer

[raw_is_war99]

Ok, talking about kids and a second date is strong. But I guess for a guy, he’ll assume because something is clicking right away that translates to thinking ahead. Which is obviously not the case. A girl usually has to be emotionally invested to think that far ahead. Guys/men look at the physical first, and if things are clicking in terms of conversation that’s when guys/men get ahead of themselves. I’ve been guilty doing this before. But for me, I did that because I know this girl had other options and was talking to other guys so I felt the need to swoop in and talk to her. But it doesn’t work, it’s a process. It depends who you’re with.

[JustinTimberlegs]

[Alyssa11]

nooooooo i'm scared lmao

[JustinTimberlegs]

😂😂

[Friendlybro79]

I have zero idea. This happens with women too so it's a weird thing some people do. I had a first date with a woman once where she asked me how long would I take to propose to a woman as if it was a standard amount of time for everyone I would potentially date lol. I was tempted to say right now! But i was scared she'd say yes and that would have been mean lol.

I did say to her that answering that takes all the fun out of it which she accepted but she asked a bunch of weird questions for a first date.

[Ceslovas]

Because they scared. it feels terrible inside their mind get rejected. Onnan inside we feel like boys and Woman we like she is like our goddess, we want to please to have that attention from her we so need. it covers wounds, vulnerability, fear of abandnment because deep deep inside I know i feel i can surrender in her arms and heal that 'boy'inside so I no longer need armour. I am whole inside. I am a Man woman needs!

That's why Women and Men needs each other. Everyone who tells different will lie. It's by God's design.

[Honesttguy]

Simple answer. Stress. Some people talk a lot when they're in stress, some stay silent.
What do you do when you're stressed?

[Alyssa11]

Cry tbh

[Honesttguy]

You have ability to lower his stress by saying no big deal, no worries helping him see to not make it big deal would reduce stress. Also it be in your interests if u want to know the guy for who he is truly, cus we open up more when we are less under pressure. High expectations of the date can push stress through the roof.

[ohshee]

When a guy does that nine times out of ten it's because he only wants one thing he gets that one thing and then he's gone a guy that really likes you it's going to be very patient and it's not going to be that big of a deal because he's trying to prove himself and who he really is guys that are in a patient are the guys that want it and then they're gone

[PoliteSpeaker]

Sure. I disagree. I think it is due to enthusiasm. When you are very enthused or excited about something you have a hard time not sharing it and expressing it. But he could be evil like you are saying. No way to know unless we are him.

[t-8900]

Has he had much dating experience? Maybe he's a hopeless romantic. Maybe he's trying to show you he had actual intentions with you. Lots of people are socially awkward today. Trying throwing in some humor to make light of it a bit in a nice way that says "calm down let's take it slow" and see how he responds.

[HOAAH]

They have the mentality of "If I don't let her know I like her, another guy will" or something like that, especially if they get the vibe that you are their type.

My husband was like this as well. Our first date, he mentioned that there was only one heir, and that was his brother's son. He totally wanted a son.

[RawIronhide]

There's no textbook telling us what to say. Maybe a question you should ask yourself is why it turns you off so much. I mean he hasn't exactly crossed any line. Perhaps you're being a little unreasonable. Just because he doesn't act 100% ideal for you doesn't mean he's done anything wrong.

[RawIronhide]

It's weird he brought up kids I guess but context matters too.

[PoliteSpeaker]

I think it is due to enthusiasm. When you are very enthused or excited about something you have a hard time not sharing it and expressing it. We often make the mistake of not accounting for the fact others aren't perfect. And vice versa we ask strangers who are no better than us or no more aware than us for advice...

[zzombie]

I have no clue. I've had guys ask to marry me a week within meeting them... I wish I knew the answer to this question lol. It's flattering and all but cmon... chill.

[Pasiton5]

Well as they say in real estate, location, location, location, just meet the guy, impression impression impression

[RealMarek]

The reason could vary depending on the guy, but coming on so strong isn’t good. He might just want to get commitment from you so you date him exclusively.

[Djaay]

Genuine ( good intensions ) come out strong and confident and generally reinforce the other persons own emotional state. . Someone who imposters (good intensions ) will sound strong where they're weak , and weak as they try and convince you they're strong leaving a strong after taste of mix emotions. By the way , to the contrary , human emotions aren't gender specific... admitted or not.

[NathanDavis]

immature guys do this, yes... idealization without realization

yes, that's why