As a modern man, what should women and the world expect from you?

Question

Someone asked why men are threatened by independent women, and there was a response about us expecting men to act like they did in the 50's and 60's which personally I don't think is true. I think the move for equality was to get away from an archaic mindset. So to save the slagging match that can come about, I want to know as a modern man what should we expect from you, not the general man, the individual man...
From the responses maybe we can all learn from each other about the individual instead of lumping all men into one category which basically insinuates you all share the same mindset.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Id depends on what I can expect from her. I'll just put stuff about me and what I expect in return. It isn't everything, but it is some of the important stuff.

Me: White, 6' tall, Strong, Trustworthy, Loyal, Affectionate, Never done any hook ups, No contact with any ex, no kids but I do want some with the right person, I am very good with kids, Don't do any drugs, alcohol, or smoke, no tattoos, I work (no welfare or food stamps), I know how to cook, I'm educated (not indoctrinated). I enjoy physical stuff like riding bikes, lifting weights, and also indoor stuff like board games, video games, movies, tv series, comedy videos, learning new things, reading a book, bowling, pool, air hockey, amusement parks, and other stuff. I will try new things as long as it isn't gross or immoral. I prefer things to be planned most of the time. I like to make the important decisions for the family/kids/etc. but I would also take responsibility for those choices and the outcomes too. One example of a decision I would make is the kids won't have smart phones. Another example would be no alcohol allowed in the home. So gatherings would be with sober people only. Once in a relationship I believe people shouldn't be making NEW opposite gender friends to hang out with one on one. I wouldn't be doing that either. I am good to people that are good to me, but there is no obligation for me to help strangers. What I earn is for me and people I care about and I won't share it freely.

Potential Girlfriend:
18 to 30 (over 30 equals no interest), hasn't done any hook ups or ONS, doesn't do any drugs (no weed either), doesn't drink alcohol or drinks very rarely and is willing to quit, doesn't smoke, no kids from past relationships, but does want some with the right person, no contact with any ex, once in a relationship won't be posting revealing and flirty pictures online for attention, will be very affectionate with me and she initiates the affection sometimes too, doesn't have an immoral job or one that requires her to spend multiple days away from home (traveling), no tattoos or very few (each tattoo makes her less attractive to me), will exercise every week just like I will to stay healthy and in shape for long term, is not hypocritical.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Be an equal partner in crafting life together.
Be emotionally available for her
Be supportive during her emotional times.
Be your genuine, better, self.
Have values and goals in life.

World:
Make effort to leave the planet and others, better than when you found them.
Listen to understand and work cooperatively with others
Fight for the good cause

MrOracle · Answer

Let me turn the question around: in what ways have women CHANGED what they expect from men since the 1950s? Which expectations have been LOWERED?

Men are still overwhelmingly expected to:

approach women and risk rejection
pay for dates (and many women expect elaborate and expensive dates these days)
have their own home and car* (*except in a few major cities), do the driving, and pay all associated costs
be the primary provider in a relationship, which often translates to: working more hours, more dangerous jobs, longer commutes, less enjoyable careers, more work travel, etc.
earn more than the woman (80% of women will leave a relationship if she out-earns him)
be tall (and the requirements here have gone WAY UP, with 50% of women refusing to even consider dating a man below 5'10", which is an inch taller than average!)
be romantic
be stable and stoic/never complain/be her "emotional rock"
provide protection (including investigating noises at night and standing between her and danger)
do all of the "man jobs" around the house

But now, we also get to enjoy:

the expectation to do 50% of the housework
pay for day care so she can go to work, even if her salary barely covers day care costs
to come home to an exhausted, frustrated, emotionally fried woman who we have to then comfort and reassure when we need to be resting ourselves
enjoy much less respect from her for the things we do and the sacrifices we make
be vulnerable to her being bored or unhappy with herself, which allows her to divorce us, take the kids, and leave with cash and prizes that we have to pay for.

So, how, exactly, has our situation improved, or the expectations for us been lowered? I'm really curious to find out.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

The problem is that many women don't seem to entirely grasp the male perspective. Most of us see you as different, not in terms of equal or unequal. I think women view men in those terms and rationalize that men must do the same.

Yes, in the olden days, men worked the exterior, and women worked the interior. Women were treated as inferiors. The world I grew up in certainly didn't treat women as inferior. It treats them as different, yes.

Anyways, my point is that back in the olden days, each of us had our responsibilities. Homemaking IS a full time job. But the 'modern' female doesn't seem to grasp that asking men to share in half of the household duties is actually very unfair and over time it makes us resent her. I will explain-

When we start cooking half the meals, taking our turn to do laundry, vacuuming, etc. We never got a chance to ask if she was going to take turns mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, cleaning the garage, re-tiling the bathroom, changing the oil in the cars.

We got enough to do. Now we're being socially pushing into doing half of her job for her with no questions asked. I had said women don't understand our perspective. It's because they don't have to. They want to waste all their energy figuring out how we see them/women, but use none to just put themselves in our shoes and look at the responsibilities we already carry.

I believe men naturally tend to try to see other perspectives moreso than women, but I can't prove it, just an observation.

MCheetah · Answer

Women should expect men to keep the world running, keep them and everyone else safe, and to not receive the gratitude and respect we're probably owed for it. Soldiers, doctors, non-corrupt police officers, fathers... And so on. All men really want in return, in a Thank You and appreciation for all of this.

Modern men should expect gratitude and basic respect towards them coming from women. And likewise, modern men should do the same towards modern women and respect them (although I think most men already do). The issue why this isn't the case can be stem from many different directions, but it's typically feminism and other sh*tty man-hating movements.

Usually guys call out scumbags and men who treat women badly, but not too many women ever call out women who treat men badly and use/abuse them. Usually, these women get a "you go, girl!" instead of being scolded or told they're bitches.

So modern men no longer feel appreciated by what was already a thankless job for them. And many women have become more and more ungrateful and feminist in general, treating modern men as useless, even though they're usually the ones who are the least independent and rely on men like cops, handymen, mechanics, and sanitation workers the most.

And without sounding biased, honestly, I believe the majority of the blame lies in women. Cause as I said, simps are a thing, but female simps aren't. Men show more respect for women nowadays FAR MORE than women in general show respect towards men anymore. But maybe I AM biased; who knows.

Shizunk · Answer

Looking at the comments here I guess men feel attacked by expectations which is odd to me. I have trouble imagining what childless women may expect of men. But since I want to be a responsible father, there is a long list of expectations that comes attached to that.
Most of all it is the ability to commit and keep promises. Some amount of financial stability, though a family can work with less than a lot of people think. I have a higher income than what I think is reasonable to require of me.
A woman should expect me to never be violent towards her or her children and protect them fiercely from any such attempt. She should require me to spend some time with both her and the children and to be a good example for them in most areas. That then extends to a myriad of different qualities and virtues, but the reason why she should expect all of it is the stable environment for children, not just her personal preference.

ohshee · Answer

I look at everybody on this planet as an individual I don't care who you are what you do if your man or woman white or black gay or straight happy or sad we are all individuals so I treat everybody is an individual when I look at a woman I look at her deep in her eyes I want to feel her heartbeat I want to see the beautiful miss out on the inside I want to see exactly who she is I want to feel her energy I want you to feel her love her hate her commitment her wisdom her strengths. And whether you're my friend or somebody I just meant are you going to stranger if I have the opportunity to talk with you I'm going to be the most positive person in your life I'm going to build you up because I want you to succeed because I want you to feel what it feels like I want you to become it I want you to become independent confident happy smart intelligent loving caring person because that's what's going to make you a winner in everything you do

GingerGuy · Answer

For me it's more what women should NOT expect anymore. Just one example, that the man is the "provider". Times have REALLY changed from when this was the case and it's not realistic at all in today's economy for most. Can it still happen, yes, but many women "expect" it and think it's the guy's "job". For a lot of families today, one income is simply not enough to support a family, unless he has an amazing job like he's a doctor or something. Otherwise it's most likely going to take BOTH of you working to survive. Now if that's not the case and one income is enough and the guy is ok with it, do I have a problem with that, no, whatever works. But it's the "expectation" that bothers me. And so many other "traditional" dating things that are very outdated, but women still very much believe. To me it's just not realistic anymore for a lot of things.

t-8900 · Answer

what i can offer you:
-Undying Loyalty
-Protection/willing to die for you
-Honesty
-Patience
-Clear Communication
-Taking care of the yardwork
-Helping with the kids as much as possible
-Cooking 50% or more of the time
-A kind heart
-Open with emotions
-Daily cuddles
-New adventures
but i dont make a lot of money so thats an issue/deal breaker for me and love i think...

TexasRed95 · Answer

I was badly abused for 7 years starting at the age of 7. And I know that in my case it has affected me a lot. I don't talk to people about my problems, I try to take care of everyone one that I can, and I can't speak unless spoken to. So it has affected me socially in what I consider a really crappy way. I haven't had a female friend since highschool because women don't initiate conversation. I want to but if I try to I get physically sick due to my dad and how he wanted me to not bother him unless he had something to say to me.

KingofCups · Answer

I Ching 54 says: A man leads and a woman follows.

Modern women are keen to advocate for empowerment which is great, but often they overstep this, and try to dominate men, control men, direct men... by doing this they abandon their original nature. A woman is submissive, this is especially obvious during the act of sex. A woman is subtle, this made obvious by how she's able to influence others. A woman is delicate this made obvious by the form of her body.

A man wants to lead, this is his inner nature. When he cannot relize this ability, he feels he is less than a man. A man has to feel powerful, without this his actions are not decisive and he begins to doubt himself and his potential. We want to empower woman, play into your power as a woman. We want to empower men, let them feel they are in control, that they are confident and capable.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

In modern dating and modern expectations? Well id say nothing. Each partner should be independent and only involved with the other for conversation companionship sex. This is why modern relationships are very focused on casual sex because that is the sole reason why independent people would still want to see each other really.

Im very against modern dating by the way but you're dreaming if women dont want traditional men. Im very traditional and girls go fucking crazy for it. Unfortunately im not interested in modern women so i constantly have to deny women but thats their problem. Women really need to align their beliefs a bit better. Too many want to be modern yet date traditional. doesn't work that way.

Oigit · Answer

It's less about what women and the world should expect from me and more about what I can expect about myself. Being extremely self reliant is very much part of who I am and has been since I was a kid. It is one of the reasons why I have always preferred solitude to the company of others. So I guess the world and women can only expect to see me as I'm doing something like grocery shopping and that's about it.

JSmuve · Answer

Women should expect me to be myself. I'm self-sufficient, reliable, and emotionally intelligent. But I also keep to myself, am fiercely independent, and expect women to put themselves out there if they want me to do the same. I don't pursue unless she does.

master_shaggswell · Answer

I think that nowadays its more individual as to gender roles. If you, as a woman, act more independently, any man that is attracted to you, should appreciate and respect that. If the expectation is there for something more traditional to happen, then the right partners should be chosen. Point in case, people will be who they are, no matter what.

BossThe2nd · Answer

What should they expect from me? Nothing. They should expect nothing from me. I live for myself, not to meet anyone else's expectations.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Well, I think both a woman and a man should get along and love one another and not expect sex all the time or any type of sex act to go on... Also, I believe couples should sit down and talk things over instead of getting into heated arguments.. Also, couples need to know not all women and men are the same.

NathanDavis · Answer

to be perfectly honest... to this day, I never got any "complaints" from women, or... the world... so, I'm just not counting myself on this "men vs women war" that some seem to have going on

Adam1978 · Answer

That I am a decent man unless something as proven it to be wrong. I don't want you any harm or have any desires regarding you at all. Ie start from a neutral position not a negative one.

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

Fundamentally women and the world *should* expect nothing from me. The only question to be answered is do I like this person or not.

What they *actually* expect is similar to the 50’s and 60’s, sure. The move toward equality was only to allow picking a choosing of the things they did and didn’t like about it. Men still had expectations to live up to but weren’t permitted expectations of their own to balance it out.

Andres77 · Answer

Dignity and respect... just like for any human being. That's what everyone deserves until they prove that they don't deserve it.

grega239 · Answer

If we're talking about equality, nothing.
Its not the 50s anymore so if women are no longer expected to act according to their gender role, men shouldn't be expected to uphold theirs.

Of course, women like to engage in a bit of hypocrisy in this regard and will still expect chivalry from men and men will oblige or be shamed for it. Because as we all know, when a woman says she wants equality, she only wants it when its convenient and beneficial

Doctadeek · Answer

I don't really know what this modern man present man crap is all about n don't care about it either... I've been the same person 20 years ago that I will be in 20 more years... It doesn't matter what the year is you can always expect me to be exactly the same.. I don't change for the times... That's what sheep's do

devilman666 · Answer

Nothing. Just like we dont expect anything of women based on their gender, lets not expect anything of men based upon gender.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Bitches are constantly asking what the man has to offer to their vagina. You will never hear them saying what have to offer (literally nothing besides a cute face). Society elevated your vagina to such astronomical heights that you thin the world revolves around you.

Yourfriend2021 · Answer

A girl that loves me can expect that I will treat her with caring and I won't cheat, but we have to treat each other the same, and I expect the same from her. As for other women, they can only expect to be treated the same way they treat me.

888theGreat · Answer

Ever since women entered the work force, people make less money, more marriages fail, kids are more wild and get in more trouble, school shootings became common, couples are having fewer kids , people are moving more. I don't see how it has made society better , actually things have gotten a lot worse.

007kingifrit · Answer

expectations on men have not changed at all since the 50s. women expect the same from us all

you should expect nothing from me. entry level jobs req 3 years experience. affirmative action takes jobs from men and gives them to women. and marriage will take 50% of what wealth i can make and give me no social protections

if this continues too much you should expect violence.

Anpu23 · Answer

What do I want from women in general? Primarily I want most to leave me alone. To not perceive me as a threat and certainly not to treat me as inherently dangerous. To respect my space, and not try and femsplain my lived experience.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

One thing you can expect from me! Equality. The rest for me is pretty general.

ChiPaPa · Answer

I do the best I can. I work hard, I'm reliable, and loyal. But, nobody wants me anyway. So, women should expect nothing from me. I'm not going to bother them ever again. I threw in the towel four years ago.

Jay3344 · Answer

A personality, an equal, love and affection, brains and brawn, and a touch of primitive behavior.

As a modern man, what should women and the world expect from you?

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