Guy friend sending me mixed messages, does he just want sex or something more?

[Mary_M]

I'll keep this as short as I can.
My guy best friend that iv always had a spark with is sending me mixed messages.

Recently we have shared a bed (while on a college trip one weekend and at a friend's house two weekends after that and again a week after that) and each time he has spooned me or hugged me from infront while we are in the bed together as well as leaning his forehead against mine (didn't kiss me though). He has also had some wandering hands while cuddling.
He isn't overly affectionate during the day, we flirt a bit and joke around but that's it. And we spend a lot of time together. We also hooked up a few years ago, one time thing, drunk at a friend's party. He hadn't been drinking on these recent times. I asked him if he wanted to talk about us but he said he didn't.

I don't know what to make of this behaviour. Does he just want sex? Would a guy risk friendship for sex?
What should I do in this situation? Obviously I like him and would like it to go further but I don't want to ruin our friendship.

[TheorionMage]

Understand that his ego profits from his ambiguous messaging...
He leaves circumstance to dictate which way the sexual tension favors
without overtly risking either commitment or his ego risking rejection
counting upon YOUR subconscious' "Gee, if I just let him..." yearnings
and FEMALE innate desire awoken~

Right now, what YOU rose-ily term 'friendship' is in actuality 'sexploitation'.
That pop lyric:
"I just wanna USE your 'love' tonight; I don't wanna LOSE your 'love' tonight"
is ringing in MY ears~

[Anonymous]

A few questions, how long have you been friends? Did you ever discuss your "hookup" afterwards? Was/is it ever awkward between you? Bottom line, only he can answer any of this for you. But for your sake, you admit liking him and wouldn't mind it progressing, so I think you need to "confess" that and find out his thoughts. A risk to the friendship or not because either way it will be. Why? Because if your feelings grow for him, it's eventually going to be an issue in your friendship anyway, only worse if you leave it because you'll like him even more than you do already and it'll hurt more. The friendship maybe has to change either way (for your own sake)? On the flip side, this doesn't necessarily mean "the end" of the friendship either if he doesn't feel the same way. Just depends how mature you both are, the friendship in general, and if you both can continue it or not knowing how the other feels? Just talk about it with him.

[Mary_M]

Hey thanks for your reply. So we have been good friends for two and a half years but knew each other for a few years before that. We didn't really discuss the hookup, we had a couple months where we didn't really talk much and stopped hanging out afterwards but then a mutual friend got us hanging out again but yes it was awkward for a while.
You're right, I do need to confess

[MrCommodore]

You're no longer just friends, you moved past that friendship barrier when you hooked up a few years ago and now that you repeatedly ended up sleeping in the same bed and obviously wanting to get it on, it's time to fish or cut bait.

You need to find our if he wants a relationship with you or not, if not, he was just looking for sex and yes that may be enough for him to sacrifice your friendship.

[bowenw]

I suspect he wants to have sex and be more than friends, but doesn't want to risk spoiling the friendship if you don't. You may just have to come right out and ask him if he ever thinks the two of you could be more than friends.

[spartan55]

You aren't 'friends', and to claim you are is sort of insult to everyone's intelligence.

[Mary_M]

Please please please explain because this is the kind of harsh truth I need right now

[spartan55]

Just reread your own post. You hooked up once, you slept in the same bed recently. These are not things that happen in platonic relationships.

[Mary_M]

You're right, that hasn't been my experience of platonic relationships but I don't know what to do about this one

[spartan55]

Do what you want, that's about all you can do.

[Avicenna]

Sex. If he wanted more, he'd at least hint strongly that he does.

[Mary_M]

Would a guy really risk ruining a friendship just for sex? It seems craxy

[JakeS00]

I don't think he's your friend. A friend wouldn't send mixed signals unless they were up to something.

[Wise4myage]

He wants to smash, but he's too shy to make the first move. So if you want it, your gonna have to pounce on him.

[In_Trance]

He's giving you moxed signals because that's what you're giving him

[Mary_M]

You're probably completely right but how can I be more straightforward if he won't talk to me

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Men will always be men. We always have sexual backthoughts with women, might it be just a friend or a crush. It just varies in strength.

[scott04sa22]

Sex. He’s only wants sex