Is it men's fault that some women are single with kids?

Question

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

It depends on the situation. It's also important to note that not all women are single mothers because their spouse left, but sometimes it's because he died or she refuses to allow him to see his kids (and whether or not that is a good or bad thing also depends on the situation; sometimes one parent is not a good influence to the kids or is even a danger to them, but also sometimes people can't get over their hatred towards each other and use their kids as weapons).

Relationships, including familial ones, can be very complicated and it's hard to say whose fault it is when a woman ends up a single mother or a kid ends up without one of their parents. Sometimes it's nobody's fault, sometimes it's the fault of one person or the other, or sometimes it's the fault of both people. Situations like these aren't always black and white.

flowersarenice · Accepted Answer

A man that abandons their children is an asshole. However, women should also be conscious of the bad men out there and take precautions to not end being a single mom

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

i think you can't generally say either way. because people separate for very different reasons and sometimes the woman will be at fault, sometimes the man and sometimes both have their fair share.

little_bird1 · Answer

This question is such a generalization. My mom was a single mom for 9 years because she put a restriction order for my dad to be close to us because they didn't work out as a couple. She had personal grudges against him and I guess she thought he would be a bad influence on us. But she happily accepted allowance from him. The story was that he hit her once, and then later by accident ended up in jail for 3 years because he was crossing boarder to see his parents during the domestic war in our country. So he had a criminal record and she used it against him on the court, and won of course. Little twist of the faith and touch of karma, she got very sick and he had to take care of me and my brother. I was 10 when I first met him, and even though he is maybe not the easiest person to be around he was/is a very devoted and responsible father. Not only did he take care of us, he also took care of her even after everything she did against him. She is still very sick (mentally) and my brother and I are long gone, but he STILL takes care of her. And she still hates his guts.
So, in short, no. Not everything is so black and white. Not that I'm defending all men here, there are some cases where it is their fault, but generalizing makes me cringe. I can't even imagine what my dad went through and how he felt. Not to mention how hard it was for my mom and us to survive without having him around, if only her pride wasn't so high things wouldn't be that hard. And she might have even stayed sane.

Moose304 · Answer

Women are single after a divorce or an LTR for one of two basic reasons. Either they were dumped by a s**t stain male, or they themselves dumped a good man. I have no stats to back this up, but I think this is about 50 50. Since the question is not delving into things like child support or visitation I will just say this. Some men are OK with raising another man's kids, and some are not. This dynamic has caused a lot of problems for hundreds of thousands of kids. I am spending the weekend with an attorney who has some ties to Judy Clarke. I will just paste this from Wikipedia "Judy Clare Clarke (born 1952) is an American criminal defense attorney who has represented several high-profile defendants such as Ted Kaczynski, Eric Rudolph, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Joseph Edward Duncan, Zacarias Moussaoui, Jared Lee Loughner, Robert Gregory Bowers, and Susan Smith." That last name Susan Smith is why I am bringing this subject up. One of the reasons Susan Smith drove her car off a lake taking her son's lives as she was in love with a man that made it clear he would NOT raise another man's kids. Women who are single moms are a fact of life in today's society. Assigning blame using generalities is disingenuous at best!

globetrotter22 · Answer

There are plenty of irresponsible dbags out there. But also there are plenty of women who made a CHOICE to date and have unprotected sex with them.

This is issue is not an easy answer AB poll answer. However I do know this: when I have been screwed more than once by women I have had some people be sympathetic. However more often than not I have gotten the “well you should of saw that coming” attitude. Being a man I get less leeway to cry victim.

I just don’t see women generally being held to that same standard. This would of made more sense 60 years ago when women had less freedom. But with more freedom comes RESPONSIBILITY. But feminism seems to be conveniently reluctant to acknowledge long time unchecked social attitudes that have always protected and benefitef women.

Anyway I do have a lot of respect for hardworking single mothers out there. That has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world. But there are always two sides to a story and we usually only hear one.

Anonymous · Answer

If women and girls want to continuously use men and guys as a scape goat for their problems, they are not looking in the mirror at themselves. No marriage is perfect, but I’ve always believed even if you are in love, ask people how they truly are. I’m not saying people don’t do this in relationships before marriage but when you are in the romantic, I love-you phase, our traits and behaviour may not be addressed because we assume the person is perfect. It’s the responsibility of both parents to raise kids properly. I’m not married and I don’t have kids but I will work hard and try to be a loving husband and father to the best of my ability. But women and girls need to stop finger pointing. I’ve seen girls and women who are married and go out with their “girlfriends” to drink and party. Meanwhile they don’t care they have kids at home they should be spending time with. To any girl reading this don’t give me this BS of you need to “unwind”. Unwind from what? Being around immature friends, awful loud music and beverages that will most likely make you hurl on the sidewalk after you leave? I’m tired of men getting bashed, it’s been normalized by modern feminists. As a guy I will CALL OUT the stupid shit men/guys do, but I will call out women/girls for their stupid shit to.

dvc0006 · Answer

a few questions, and it depends if you are asking if its the fault of the dad of the babies why he is not with them. in that case it depends, but if you mean in like why doesn't another man who is not the father of the babies date the women, and you imply that is their fault for not dating them for being single mothers, the answer is Hell NO!!
going back to the first option, I mean if the women chose a chad or a Tyrone or someone above their level, they are a lot to blame ( the women) and if they purposely chose to get pregnant by not consulting the dad in hopes of securing him, she is also at fault

t-8900 · Answer

In some cases, sure. But not always. If she tried to keep a guy who kept breaking up with her but entrapping him? Or she decided to play risky and do hook ups with "bad boys" for fun and ofc he wasn't ever interested in her like that. She brought that on herself at that point. Sometimes things happen. Guy could have died and now she's single, thats not her fault. If the guy caused a divorce, again not her fault. A woman will get judged by the context in which she finds herself in these scenarios. But more often then not it's 50% her fault if not more since "her body, her choice" and she chose who to sleep around with and when. Actions have consequences. That's why responsible and wise people weight their decisions carefully before making them. Those that don't make poor mate options imho.

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Answer

It takes 2 people to have a baby. If some jerk is going around poking holes in condoms or begging a woman for a kid and then ditching , then yeah.

But we are kind of in charge of taking contraceptives unless the man has a vasectomy. So unless there is an accident it’s important to have the accidental pregnancy talk with our partners.

And the last scenario is that sometimes people don’t work. Even if the man said he would raise a family. A child is a life long commitment. So to be safe tell a man “ no marriage certificate, no baby”. Cause sometimes the ditch when they are engaged and I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

lightbulb27 · Answer

It depends. There appears to be a challenge transitioning through kids 1 and 2 and managing the stress, needs, issues, without blowing up marriages. There was a time when a parent stayed home and one worked... that structure often raised 3-4 kids per family and marriage rates were better. At some point, 2 worker households comes along and the stress levels goes up, selfishness goes up, and marriages fail around 1-2 kids.

Our society could use some training to get people through those times, in our new society, when most marriages fail. That includes support for men to stick it out.

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

Depends on the situation. She could be signal because her husband died etc there lots of different reasons so I try not to judge I'm aware but everything is the womens fault on G@G and men can do no wrong if so it's a woman's fault he did wrong in the first place, no doubt 🙄. I do think some women bring on themselves though they become desperate and go for any old loser even though there is massive red flags they will chose to ignore it and then end up shocked when he does her wrong but if all men were prefect this women happen in the first place

SkyCastle90 · Answer

Nah. It's not a man's fault for why you're single with a child.

We have birth control, options to abort, and the ability to pick our partners. Planned Parenthood gives out free contraceptives based on your income (that's how I got my free IUD years ago). If you don't have the resources to get BC, go for the most free contraceptive of all, abstinence.

If I made men responsible for my choices, I would have been pregnant with my 5th child by the 5th different guy, and cluelessly screaming about why I can't find a decent man. No. It's your responsibility to take care of you. Never build with a man you fear is going to leave you; having a baby isn't going to make a man stay.

Plus, statistically women are leaving relationships more than men are.

Adam1978 · Answer

Most of the time I would say it's the women fault, not always but they do have the responsibility over their body, so if they don't protect it from unwanted pregnancy and still sleep around without vetting the guys to see if they are father figures. It's their fault. I am not saying that pump and dump is right, but if you actually have unprotected sex with those guys you should see what's coming miles away. You basically choose to be a single mom. If you actually have relationship men are less likely to be the one ending it. Because our expectations are lower, so yet again it's the mothers that causes the break ups in the majority of the cases.

Seinna · Answer

It always depends on the situation, it's not good to generalise and polarise the debate.

From the single mothers I know, it was the guys' fault because regardless if they chose to be with the mother or not, taking care of the children is their responsibility. And that's not really happening so I can't help but side with the mother just from that real life observation/experience.

But I know there are plenty of crazy women out there who either act completely irresponsibly or purposely drive good guys away.

Diodoro · Answer

With the sheer volume of contraceptives available, abortion, and adoption. Being a single mother today is the girls choice. She had to make several decisions to be there. No child born today comes into this world unless the mother chooses

Therefore it's her responsibility/fault ultimately for being a single mom because it was her decision in the end.

But I would agree that some guys put girls in a near impossible decision where they often choose to be a single mom rather than give the child up for adoption

Anonymous · Answer

It sometimes could be that mother cheated, is drug addict, or just nasty. Then the court will very likely let the mother keep the kids while the father is going through hell trying to get his children out of a situation where drugs are at use, verbal and/or physical abuse is happening. I known a few men who tried fighting the court system to have custody of their children. One of them lost and the mother tells the kids that “their father doesn’t love them” which isn’t true. He has depression about it now.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

It depends on why, if she cheated on him and he divorced her. How is that his fault that she is now single with kids?

Of course he should still take care of the children, but it is not his fault she is single.

Kaamraj · Answer

If we consider the US than if a child is born, then 100% the mother wanted it to be born. There are several forms of contraception and abortion available so if a child is born than unilaterally the woman wanted it so. There is nothing the biological father can do to either make a woman keep or terminate the pregnancy.

Pregnancy results from sex, and barring rape, women are the gate keepers of sex, it's they who decide who gets to have sex and thus paternity. So again women should do a better job at mate selection. On the other hand men are the gate-keepers of relationships (marriage). And it has always been a transactional relationship where the man guarantees his commitment (resource exclusivity) for the womans sexual-reproductive exclusivity.

If a man violates that commitment, meaning after marriage and children decides to walk off than there are legal ramification in alimony and child support that he must continue to give.

Anonymous · Answer

In some cases it is true.. other cases the fault is on both parties, not every couple fit so well together.. and yet some where it is the fault of the woman..
I don't know which is most common, I have personally seen most where it was just a bad match.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

It is the fault of both of them. Then no man should complain about paying child support, if he ain't wearing condom. I also think it is pro lifers fault since they dont want abortion and in a cuntservative city which ban abortion you have no choice. This is why i think pro lifers should be forced to pay alimony for single mothers or single dads
By the way this question sounds very provocative. No offence but it is like you make this question to trigger mgtow incels. The mgtow incel with mho blame women for everything for example proves my point

David_Kek · Answer

I love how 70% of the women who responded to this actually think men are responsible for that. Whether or not a woman has kids or not is completely her choice, even in cases where he directly tells her that he doesn't want them.

You could make the argument that husbands that leave their wives after committing to them are responsible that they're now single with kids, but at the end of the day she still has more responsibility for her life and the choices she made that led to it than anyone else does. When a husband comes home and finds the house empty with nothing but surprise divorce papers, almost no one denies he put himself in that position by either being a bad husband or marrying a crazy woman. What makes women so special in that regard? If you're a bad wife or choose a bad husband that leaves you, that was still a life choice that you made that led to where you are now.

HighValue · Answer

Plenty of women are single moms because they did hook ups. And plenty more cheated and ended up being single moms that way too. It takes two people to make a kid, not just one.

It is the woman's fault when she uses the court to steal the kids though and prevent custody for the father just to get child support. Lots of them do that.

mona_jin · Answer

If the man leaves in the middle of the night for various reasons (got bored with the relationship, couldn't stay committed, doesn't want kids although he fathered them) then yes, absolutely. If the mother contributes to it, perhaps by being a bad partner (cheating, always negative [without a good reason], picking fights), then no. However, situations vary, and often there is no clear answer to that question, since both parents contributed to it in some way.

I_Am_Sazerac · Answer

I like how biased the options are... Men can be manipulated into having them, or children can be weaponized against the father, or the mother could have kicked the man out for any reason, the list goes on

Both parties share blame because it takes two to make a kid. The men that leave simply because they didn't want kids, damn right that part is their fault. If a man forces himself on a woman and she has a kid because of it, damn straight thats his fault. And I am not above recognizing that sometimes a man can manipulate a woman into having a child as well.

Sometimes women choose to stay single for any reason, but they also made the choice (excluding rape cases) and supplied their half of DNA.

Anonymous · Answer

First let me say that I'm not saying guys are blameless here, but no, not solely for sure, maybe equal responsibility (it takes two). Women CHOOSE to have sex with these men that don't stick around. Now I know there's all kinds of other factors that go into this, but ultimately the woman has control over it and whether she gets pregnant or not (ie by having sex or not with these men). Not many people want to take responsibility for their actions though and look to blame others for things that happen to them.

Noddy619 · Answer

Unless it is via rape or widowing/abuse ( props to those women, they are heroes), any woman who is a single mother, chose to have that child the moment they engaged in sexual activity. They are to blame.

BrosephBrostar · Answer

I don't know if this was inspired by any recent opinions, and I don't know if you intended for it to be taken this way, but the way you phrased the first option implies that men should just take responsibility for any single mom that rolls up into his life.

I assume, or at least I hope, the way intended to phrase the first one was "It's a man's responsibility to take care of the kids and the woman he fathered them with"

AmandaYVR · Answer

Takes two to tango. Put a rubber on it. Reckless sex has consequences. But...

anylolone · Answer

Single women, even with kids? No.
Women aren't entitled to men and to top it all off, their singledom is mostly self inflicted.

Even a good chuck of fatherlessness is mostly the fault of women, specially orphanage.

But even in those men are at fault for women they chose.

At the very least, 90% of all single moms should have remained incels for the rest of their lives, and in that, men are to blame.
Which is why a despise simps, at least 50% of all fatherlessness is caused by nothing but simpdom.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Yes they chose to leave. Some women push guys away but they got every right to be a parent if they want to.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

No you can't solely put the blame on men.. The men that abandon their children, yes that's wrong.. But how many women use their children as a tool to hurt the men that do want to be in their children's lives just don't want to be with her?
Unless you know the whole story of why/how it came to be, shouldn't be too quick to blame men... There's some great single dads out there.. Not all single parents raising their children alone are women.

Anonymous · Answer

Trying to blame it only on men is extremely dishonest.

Yes, men should take care of the children they father.

And yes, women should not have children with men who they know god damned well are not going to stick around and be good fathers. I see that female irresponsibility all the time.

When women get pregnant and are not ready to be a parent, they get an abortion.

When men get a woman pregnant and are not ready to be a parent, they end up as deadbeat dads.

Is there really a difference? Really? THINK about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Generally it's her fault. Too many women believe a line or lines. Do not properly vet a guy and find themselves knocked up and alone.
While I feel a little bad for these women ( and I stress a little) I feel infinitely more bad for the child because they didn't deserve this. Generally this all stems from lack of strong male role models in the woman's life odds are her mom was the same way so it's learned behavior and the cycle persists.
When a woman respects herself she Generally is able to see between the guys lies. Because a good woman KNOWS her value extends far beyond the physical. And a good woman demands a guy RESPECT everything about her before she ever gives in to a guy. Such a woman is a well of any good man's strength. The radiance of her strength is shown in the man when they become partners as she makes him a better man.

Msputiton · Answer

Yes.
The man is equally responsible for creating a child.
If a man chooses to walk out on his child he is still responsible for the children just like the mother is.
Now if she is a single mom and he is equally helping to raise this child good for him, both parents are doing what needs to be done.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Well, if this is a problem that women recognize, why do they still spread their legs like an ocean for any dick that wanders by instead of picking the right guy for them? I KNOW women's taste in men is ABSOLUTELY SHIT but, c'mon, Cholly!! Get a clue, once in a while!!

hahahmm · Answer

No. For the same reason that it's not the fast food joint's fault that you're fat. You had the final decision on whether to swallow that food or not. Likewise women have the final decision on who they let impregnate them. Choose the wrong man, and you get what you chose. It's funny when a woman with kids by multiple different dads tries to blame men too. It's obvious that she's a pro at choosing guys based on sexual gratification only.

Star_88 · Answer

Yes, in most cases. If y'all hate the responsibility then don't open your pants and beg women to sleep with you. Also use condoms instead of blaming women.
Many married jerks will happily eat shit of strippers or their coworkers by pretending like they don't have a wife or kids at home.
But exceptions are there, if a man already told in advance that he don't want kids but woman somehow poked holes in condom to have kids with him, then it's not his fault.

Mango-man · Answer

They both share the same fault.

They both knew the potential consequences of having sex (pregnancy).
She let him have sex with her and he didn't take responsibility for consequences.

As they say: "Women are gatekeepers of sex, while men are gatekeepers of relationship."
If one opens the gate out of sync with the other, there will be imbalance.

Tyric331988 · Answer

It depends. My previous marraige I was raising a child that wasn't mine when I was told was mine and wasn't for many years and she was having a lot of affairs I stayed inside that toxic marraige only because I thought my daughter was actually biologically mine.

Now if men get women pregnant and leave them. The men that do this aren't real men.

If men leave the women because they were toxic or unfaithful. No

Because if you stay in the relationship that is toxic it is abusive towards you and your children because your exsposing them to people and they become confused.

If a man rapes a woman then he belongs behind bars.

jakemiller1230 · Answer

Not possible to blame either party 100%. Some men bail on the mom and it isn't right. Some women are lucky enough to get pregnant with an athlete, actor or musician's baby and can live for 18 years as a single parent and make bank. The system in the US rewards women pushing away famous men they have the kid with cause child support payments from the 1% earners are insanely high. In both cases money drives the decision in parenting which is wrong.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Those who said yes just really like to blame men for their gains. Forgetting that women had the choice to opt out of parenthood and give the children to the father while the father can't avoid paying for child support once he's sued to pay for it. The family court favors women and some likes to take the child and take advantage of the fact that 1/3 of the father's income goes to the wife.

sensible27 · Answer

This might be a flawed argument. But assuming you are married, you do get financial support right? I'm not sure. Also, (this might be even more flawed) but it's about who you decide to marry if you marry someone wouldn't even support you in critical times even if you are divorced and it's part their responsibility. It's sort of some of your fault

RoccRaider24 · Answer

Couples separate all the time. You shouldn't generalise and blame all men. People separate for many reasons. The health of a relationship depends on the level of maturity of both involved and how much the external, influences the two. There must be an understanding of eachothers intentions are for the relationship and consistently work together to maintain a healthy relationship.

whosnumber1 · Answer

it's called parenting. once you bring children into the world it's both the man and the woman's equal responsibility to care for the children. not just the man's role.

Heartache0405 · Answer

It’s feminism’s fault that women are single with kids. Feminism wants to destroy the two person household. And they’re unfortunately succeeding by turning women into men hating feminists

Shaggy_KW · Answer

That's such a vague question like I'll throw out a couple of scenarios on yes and no. Couple gets together, have kids, woman cheats or doesn't put in her part as a wife and the guy leaves. Her fault. Let's go back tho and say the guy cheats or doesn't put in his part instead, his fault. Some guys don't want to get with these women because kids with another man can start issues or because if she did cheat and that's why she's single, who wants to be with a cheater?

Texaskid1 · Answer

No.

I blame the downfall of the family unit on feminism which brought us no fault divorce , life long alimony , child support and the idea that women are all victims and can do no wrong not too mention the concept that women can not be violent towards men.

Men have eyes and we can see the writing on the wall. Why would any man want to get married today with all the financial and emotional risk it entails?

cth96190 · Answer

No, it is not the fault of men.
With the exceptions of widows, the single mothers chose the 'exciting' bad boys, who were covered in red flags.
They chose to lay with the bad boy, to become pregnant and have his baby.
Then, having made all those choices, the single mothers blame all men and want the taxpayers to pick up the bill for the irresponsibility and straight out moronic stupidity of the single mothers.
Hell no!
Let them starve and die. Society will be better for it.

ally018 · Answer

It’s the father of the children’s fault for leaving them alone with the mother without support.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course it is man’s responsibility. One child has both mother and father. If a mother takes care of her child, why doesn’t He? The mother and the father do not have to be together or be in relationship but if there is a child it is a responsibility of both the father and the mother. There is no such thing as ‘’ i do not love the mother, so i will not take care of the child’’ the child needs a father and if He doesn’t have a father it is a man’s fault.

Anonymous · Answer

The problem is many women think that a dad is not required in the upbringing of the child. Which is clearly not true and not healthy as well.
Women take pride in saying that they are single mothers, but the pride is for them only, the designing of the child's mindset will definitely have unwanted consequences or results.
A kid to be healthy, it needs insights of the world from both dad and mom's point of view. Both can have very much different to teach the child.

Anonymous · Answer

Choosing to keep the baby after an accidental pregnancy is not the guy's fault. Yes, he is equally to blame for not using protection. But choosing to carry the baby to term when there are options available is on the mother 100%. Choices have consequences, good and bad.

BloJo · Answer

Sometimes it is the fault of the father. Sometimes it is the fault of the mother. Sometimes it is neither parent’s fault.

It is not fair to blame either parent if the other parent gets cancer, or a car accident, or anything else and dies. And I know several mothers who deliberately left their children’s father and keep him away from his children. I also know several males who are just irresponsible assholes and are to blame.

AydenHazor · Answer

Why are we placing blame at all? It's on both parents to parent to the best of they're abilities, but it's much healthier for kids to have a single parent than to have parents staying in an unhealthy relationship.

Faerum · Answer

A lot of the time yes, but always? No. I’ve seen quite a few women leave their baby daddies and rather be a single mom.

TallAnon · Answer

Sometimes, sometimes not. There are many reasons for this to happen.
Man dies while serving in the army? Debatable.
Man kills himself because of abuse? Nope.
Man and woman divorce? Depends why.
Those are just some scenarios on the top of my head. All of those are vastly different scenarios with different people at fault and sometimes society as a whole.

bunnycluts · Answer

no. ig not. i mean a mom could b doing sum wrong and the dad not being able to take it any more he leaves her but moves close to her for his kids and helps with them and them going for a visit to dad. its not ALL the dads fault

GreenLanternI0I · Answer

It is not just men or women fault. The problem is culture, the problem is hyper oversexualized societies in which we are living in, the problem is Hollywood, music industry and everything in between.

Datboi65 · Answer

You got to remember: WOMEN pushed for sexual liberation AND abortion. There's 32 forms of contraception for women. The choice of abortion lies strictly with the woman, and so does that of adoption. No excuses.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

My mom taught me enough to recognize and never ignore certain reg flags and bad habits that manifest early.

Men who abandon their families are indeed assholes to every extent. You can't expect a deadbeat to change just because you exist

TheBootyChest · Answer

I do feel like men should be providing for the family that he helped make.

But also if he is trying and she isn't putting in any work on her end so he can do everything for her, then I can see why some men would leave.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

If not the man's fault , It's their mothers fault for not teaching them and raised them to be a good husband. Especially the woman that make their sons into a momma's boy.

Is it men's fault that some women are single with kids?

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