Ladies, how attracted does a guy have to be? Like is it OK if he's only mildly attracted to you?

[ChiTown33]

Let me explain. Attraction is a funny thing. You might be attractive. But as I'm sure you understand physical beauty is only half the score when you are first meeting someone. There's a lot to be said for personality, morals, compatibility etc. So if a guy is ONLY mildly attracted to you do you write him off. Or do you give him a chance?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I'm assuming you mean physically attracted because if he is trying to get to know me then there is obviously something he is attracted to.

If that's the case, how is that any different than normal? Something draws you in and the more you learn about a person the more/less you desire them.

As for how much? If the foot is in the door then that counts as a win in my book.

[ChiTown33]

No not at all. You assume he's chasing you. You know you can peak a guys interest by other than looks right?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

If I'm interested in a guy in he is marginally attracted to me? Cool, again, one foot in the door. I'll pursue him instead.

And yes I do realize there is more which is why I specifically called out physical in my example.

[ChiTown33]

OK that's kind of the answer I was looking for! Not that you NEED put in tons of effort. But this is a reoccurring theme between men and women not only on this site but IRL. "Who makes the effort and when". And what most women seem to be adamant on this site about is they WILL NOT show any interest to a guy that does not show it to her first. Now of course you want it to be genuine interest not fake interest. Hence my question. A guy can only feel what he feels. I think a lot of times what women perceive as NO INTEREST is simply just NOT ENOUGH interest on a guys part. Or him not really understanding how he feels about her yet. Because believe it or not most guys need to feel her interest to.
This is a big thing to me because this is one thing I feel I struggle with. I have been rejected a lot, to the point I don't want to waste ANY effort on a woman who is just playing around. But I draw few enough women's interest as is ( which is fine I'm only looking for one). But I don't want to misinterpret her lack of interest for it being her just playing it safe. Because she's too afraid to put herself out there. Understand? I think this would help a lot of guys if they had a better understanding of this. Again, hence why I asked the question.
Thank you for your response. 🙂

[Ez-Bri-Z]

No problem!

I will say though, sometimes we can be just as clueless when it comes to gauging men's interest in us unless they are visibly undressing us with their eyes.

Marginal interest is fine, but sometimes it may take a little on his end to show there is even a marginal interest. Some of us are more submissive and won't have that ability to pursue. It isn't ingrained in us like it is for a lot of guys.

Honestly this really comes down to people needing to be better at consciously reading body language.

[ChiTown33]

Agreed but misleading and downright wrong statements don't help.
I had this one female on here tell me and I quote " I give a guy 2 weeks and if he hasn't asked me out I'll never go out with him". To me that sounded like she's been burned before and it was a defense mechanism. But you can understand how a younger and inexperienced guy might here that and think " well dang I have to ask her out right away even though I'm not sure how I feel about her because otherwise I'll be friendzoned if I try asking her in the future instead".

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Sure, but he should also keep in mind that's just one girl of the nearly 4 billion of us on the planet.

[ChiTown33]

I get that. This is why we're having this conversation.
But if you don't care that what other women might say to guy would affect you Then n/m. I just figure you wouldn't like having a guy who might have interest in you not asking you out because experience with another woman erroneously taught him you'll friend zone him after 2 weeks.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I didn't say I didn't care, I said its just one girls opinion. I'm saying he needs to take that into consideration.

For example, I hate coffee. It's gross. Id never have it on a menu anywhere I went. Now tons of people would think I'm crazy. That’s fine. I'm just one opinion.

Do I understand someone younger who reads my post will look and say, "hey Bri hates coffee. It has to be disgusting"? Sure, its not impossible. Is it just my opinion and they should understand it is something they just need to do for themselves to know.

[PrettyPriya]

I don't write anyone off. Personality scores high on my list of things I'm concerned with, followed closely by humour. I do have to be somewhat attracted to the person. Luckily, I hit the jackpot with my current partner. Gorgeous personality and easy on the eyes. 😊

[ChiTown33]

So in other words you give a guy a little time to get to know you and understand his feelings about you before passing judgement?

[PrettyPriya]

@ChiTown33

Of course! You can bet the best looking guy in the world, if your personality sucks, I'm not giving you the time of day. As long as I am attracted to the person, personality is what really counts to me.

You are 100% correct that getting to know someone is important. That is when you really learn if you are compatible or not. Not attraction can offset not clicking with someone.

[Still-alive]

Do you have a type physically? :p

[PrettyPriya]

@Still-alive

I like tall and toned. No need to be bodybuilder type. That is actually not appealing to me. Just someone that takes care of themselves. I guess tall because I'm so short. I get to climb him lol.

[Still-alive]

Hmm ill have to lose the weight ;) otherwise im good 👍🏻

[PrettyPriya]

@Still-alive

How tall are you? 😕

[Still-alive]

Well i guess im not super tall, more average. 5’9

[ChiTown33]

Lol I noticed you said " you can be the best looking guy in the world if your personality sucks I'm not giving you the time of day". But you did not include the opposite "you could be an ugly troll of a person with the best personality on the planet I'm still not giving you the time of day".
I'm not trying to put you on the spot or accuse you of something. I get physical attraction matters. And there's nothing shallow about admitting that 🙂

[PrettyPriya]

@ChiTown33 I think I did mention somewhere in here that I have to be attracted to the person. I think my first comment "I do have to be somewhat attracted to the person".

@Still-alive You are a giant to me... 😂

[Still-alive]

Ohh i tower over you hehe 😉

[PrettyPriya]

@Still-alive

Indeed you do! If my conversion is accurate I am 5'3" with shoes!

[ChiTown33]

I see. I notice you also avoided my comment. It's OK. Not answering is an answer. Not the one I was looking for but I'll accept it.

[PrettyPriya]

@ChiTown33

Not sure what I avoided. Please advise and I will address accordingly.

[ChiTown33]

Re-read previous comment that starts "lol I noticed you said". I'm not going to type it again.
I'm not saying you didn't say " I have to be somewhat attracted" you did and I commend you for your honesty. It 's the followup comment you stress the need for his personality no matter how attractive he is. You omit the opposite that he could be an ugly troll of a guy with the best personality. That you would also reject him for that.

[PrettyPriya]

Yes, that is true you can say that as well. As mentioned, I do have to be physically attracted to the person too. Not all about personality for certain.