My boyfriend refuses to go shirtless at the beach. What can I do to boost his confidence?

Question

My boyfriend refuses to take off his shirt when we’re at the beach. All last summer he always wore rashguards or T-shirt when we went out to the beach. I told him he looks silly swimming with a shirt on. He’s not in bad shape or anything. He’s actually hot! He says “no one wasn’t to see what I don’t have” or “there’s nothing there to show off.” When I point out other guys are shirtless he just says “maybe they shouldn’t be.” Honestly tho, he really does look great! But we’re going to Hawaii next month and I want to enjoy the view lol. It’s embarrassing that he’s the only guy walking around in a wet shirt and I want us to take lots of pictures for instagram, but he will look all wrong next to me. What can I do to boost his confidence?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well, it is ultimately up to him, of course. However, you might consider telling him how good he looks, and maybe add that it makes you feel more relaxed and comfortable. You can even say that you know that it is a bit silly or some such, but if he would not mind not wearing a shirt just to please you, you'd appreciate it.

In short, make it about you - which it sort of is anyhow - and not him. Make it so that he is doing something for you.

He may be a bit shy or there may be other - and perhaps more serious - issues involved. So don't make a Federal case out of it. Just say that you being in a bathing suit and him being shirtless on the beach just makes you feel that it is a more relaxed and pleasant time.

Just to add - that you are embarrassed, your word, that he is wearing a shirt on the beach and in the water seems a bit much. For what it is worth, I sort of understand that you want to feel a bit more relaxed and I even understand, from your perspective, the "sex appeal" of having him shirtless.

That said, I would not dwell on it too much. There will be more important issues between you if your relationship develops further.

Oh, and one last thing. Conspicuously watch other shirtless guys on the beach. Don't say anything to him - just watch other guys. Few things will motivate a guy as jealousy - even when it is sort of ridiculous.

Anyhow, speaking as a guy who can't imagine wearing a shirt on the beach - and who has worn less on a few occasions - I would not make a big deal about it. I understand where you are "comin' from," but as I say, you will, if your relationship develops, face bigger issues.

Besides, the next time you wear something he does not like, you will have grounds to say fair is fair. If he wants to wear a shirt to the beach, you can wear that frumpy blouse to his next company picnic!!

Wraith_Cemetery · Accepted Answer

Seriously? For modest reasons, I too wear rashguards at the beach and my wife wears a full garb as well that covers her body. If a guy was here saying that he wants his girl to wear a bikini at the beach so that she "looks like everyone else", people would be in an uproar saying "her body her choice" and all that.

Your instagram followers are meaningless in the grand scheme of things and he can wear whatever the Hell he wants to. Rashguards at the beach aren't out of place at all. I go surfing in Hawaii, California, and Florida and tons of people wear rashguards, even the girls. It's a protective clothing meant to be worn in the water. So, don't be ridiculous.

Being naked doesn't equal being confident. I am completely confident in my body (Been an athlete my whole life) but I just rather not go on display for everyone. I have more dignity than that.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

There is absolutely nothing wrong going to the beach wearing a t-shirst or any other top.

As a matter of fact, he is to be commended for doing it because he is taking care of his skin and possible health complications later in life because of skin cancer.

You may not see it the way he does and besides not wanting to show off by going topless, he is also actively protecting himself from harmless UVA/UVB.

Depending on his skin type, wearing a top is the best protection he can get. Rather than to be upset at him, you should be grateful that he takes care of his health.

Hangry06 · Accepted Answer

Why are you trying to control your boyfriend's clothing? It's his body

Koalamate · Answer

If he takes his shirt off he will burn badly.
Don't be embarrassed of him it's fine if he wears a shirt it's not abnormal and it is sun smart.

Taking your shirt off at the beach is perfectly normal but if he's never done it it won't be normal for him, don't make it a big deal.

If it's a confidence issue you can't do much besides telling him it's sexy and you will stare at him all day and encourage him to take it off. Don't make it a big deal.

I was like him after I lost a lot of muscle and it took a while to get the confidence back.

RobT312 · Answer

Haha that’s great. That’s the opposite of me. Im mostly just wearin a speedo at the beach. i have had past girlfriends asking me to cover up, lol.
I think everyone should be comfortable at the beach. If that’s his thing, so be it. No one likes to be nagged, so that won’t work.

IMuser · Answer

Just wondering... Are you trying to increase his confidence so that YOU CAN CLICK PHOTOS AND UPLOAD ON INSTAGRAM or is it something which is actually a bad thing?

"He will look all wrong next to me" sounds like he will ruin your reputation on social media.

Lonewulf57 · Answer

First, saying things like "he looks silly" doesn't make you look good.
Second, stop trying to change him, although telling him you don't mind his wearing a t-shirt and it is completely okay with you, but you wouldn't mind him taking it off, would be a better way to make him come out of his introverted shell.

Madhatter920 · Answer

I'm not sure there's much you can do. He's got body image issues. I don't know the guy, but if he's fit and still really self-conscious, he may even have body dysmorphia. This may just have to be a thing about him you need to accept and by attempting to change it, you may cause more damage.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

Don't force him to take his shirt off if he doesn't feel comfortable or have zero interest in being shirtless. You can try asking your boyfriend on why he doesn't want to be shirtless at the beach but if he doesn't answer or if he do answer on why he not interested you tried respecting his decision on not being shirtless.

Anonymous · Answer

If he doesn’t want to take off his shirt, that’s his choice.

If you love him, you should be supportive, not upset that you won’t get to show off to all your online followers (totally not insecure at all, by the way)

Anonymous · Answer

I think you're the one with the problem here, sorry. You ASSUME there's a problem. That he's insecure. Maybe he's just more comfortable with his shirt on. And if so why's that a problem? Stop worrying so much about what other people think. Support him and let that be the end of it.

slatyb · Answer

Maybe he burns easily? I can't go shirtless all day at the beach even with high SPF sunscreen. I would burn in 10 minutes. With SPF 30 sunscreen I would still burn in 5 hours.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Have him fast for 72 hours straight before going to the beach. The fat will come off easily in that time period, enough to show abs if he's already in decent shabe

spartan55 · Answer

Have YOU told him directly what you said here? (he's hot, etc)

mortonc57 · Answer

Will he wear a tank top? I will often wear them at the beach, and you can find rashguards in a tank form. Plus, they show off the tattoos on my arms !

2legit2lye · Answer

Probably nothing. Its like trying to get your girlfreind to wear a bikini when all she wants to wear is a full swimsuite. If that makes sense

Anonymous · Answer

guessing this isn't the case, but my brother wears shirts to the beach as well due to modesty purposes - perhaps your boyfriend might be insecure, but just because he wants to cover up might just mean he's not willing to let random people see him - i think it is almost an admirable thing and also his personal choice! let it be, it shouldn't be too much of an issue, you'll get used to it :))

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

That’s just the way he is. Maybe he’s insecure. Don’t push it too much.

TrueConfection · Answer

Wear your bathrobe to the beach and refuse to take it off until he's shirtless.

Throwdownxxx · Answer

Who gives a fuck what other people think. Let him do his thing.

exitseven · Answer

He might have body issues or maybe he has gynecomastia. Give him some space.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

you can't control what people do with their bodies REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS BUT ESPECIALLY REPUBLICUCKS

Juxtapose · Answer

I don't know why he's insecure, you can still be a little chubby but hot all the same.

My boyfriend refuses to go shirtless at the beach. What can I do to boost his confidence?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

My boyfriend refuses to go shirtless at the beach. What can I do to boost his confidence?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.