Why doesn’t he openly check me out anymore but I see him checking out other girls now?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

It’s probably my fault. But a guy at my gym I like I wasn’t really reciprocating to his compliments and stares, sometimes would outright not look at him, and now he just glances at me but doesn’t full on stare or attempt to talk to me anymore. I don’t think I did anything wrong. But he’s like kind of avoiding looking in my direction now. If anything he glances or sometimes looks me up and down.
I see him checking out other women though. I don't know he complimented me twice and nothing really came of it. Can I still go say hi?

[broccolislaw1985]

He doesn't think you're interested. That doesn't mean all hope is lost though. All people are different, but I know if a girl didn't reciprocate, I'd take that as rejection and not waste time/energy pursuing her further. I'd still look, since I'm obviously still attracted to her, but that would be about it. If you were to approach him and show interest, that would very likely rekindle his interest towards you. That is unless he took it as a personal offense or something... but that's his own problem

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I’m going to just write a short note and say I’m happy to chat sometime

[rebeliouse]

you answered your own question twice ye if u jilt a guy of course he is going to protect his confidence and yes you can go and say hi.

why are you making things hard for yourself if you like him be nice to him make him hard and jump on an ride it ;)

[Anonymous]

There are only two things that make a woman unhappy...

1) Getting what she wants.
2) Not getting what she wants.

[spartan55]

He thinks you aren't interested, so the next move is yours.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I’m shy. I’m gonna write my name and. Note on a piece of paper

[spartan55]

How old are you?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I’m 25 but don’t understand why that matters. I have to be extra careful cuz it’s a gym not a club

[spartan55]

It matters because the 'shy' thing is something most people are over by your age. You can write a note if you want but some guys will be put off by that.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I had a guy write me a note once with his number at a store once. We barely saw each other. That’s also the situation with this guy. No time to really sit and chat if I approached.

[spartan55]

No time? Why is that?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

People have different schedules at the gym. Also I’m just not super comfortable going up to. Guy I don’t know and just saying that. I don’t know if he’s pissed at me or not. And it’s a gym so got be careful.

[spartan55]

Why would he pissed at you?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I don't know. Sometimes he looks stressed or busy with something. I see him in the gym cafe and he’s on his iPad a lot LOL. Like probably working. I don’t want to go up and interrupt.

[spartan55]

Omg, you sure have a ton of BS excuses to not approach him. Good luck anyway.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

LOL I’ll just do it. And maybe I’ll let you know how it goes too. We’re all gonna die one day, I should stop caring about what if’s so much.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Then I was sitting by myself and there was an empty chair by me and he sat down to take a call in it but purposely turned the chair to face the other direction. Then walked away not looking at me at all.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

@spartan55 Today I saw him and tried smiling and looking at him. He was initially heading in the other direction but stopped and turned around and walked right past me but I looked away so he didn’t come say anything. Then I was sitting by myself and there was an empty chair by me and he sat down to take a call in it but purposely turned the chair to face the other direction. Then walked away not looking at me at all.

[spartan55]

Okay where was? Why didn't say hi? Talk to him?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I’m soooo shy. I am afraid of what will happen

[spartan55]

*was this

[spartan55]

What are you afraid of happening?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Him being weirded out or turned off and wanting to walk away from the convo.

[spartan55]

What would he be weirded out about? If he gets turned off (highly unlikely) or walking away (even more unlikely) then so what? He wasn't the right guy anyway.

[spartan55]

Have you dated? Had a boyfriend?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Funny because last time I ever had a guy turned off by that it was when I was in high school and a nerd. Now guys seem comfortable and want to order a second drink, continue the convo, want me to text them, etc.
I haven’t dated since before the pandemic like seriously. I have just been on dates. Last boyfriend I had was 3 years ago.

[spartan55]

Guys rarely get turned off by a woman approaching them. And if they do they are probably cavemen types who think women belong in the kitchen. I hope that's not what you want...

[spartan55]

And NO, you won't look desperate doing it. It is NEVER desperate to let a guy know (clearly) that you are interested.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Thank you 😊

[spartan55]

Let me know if I can help you further. I want to see you overcome your shyness.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Someone told me he sounds like an asshole.

[spartan55]

How is he an asshole? That makes no sense.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Someone else mentioned he might be one for ignoring me. I don’t think he is either. Honestly in my opinion I don’t think most men are actually assholes. They act a certain way when they’re hurt.

[spartan55]

So, he compliments you twice, tries talking to you, and you do nothing. And now he is an asshole for ignoring you? Your friend either heard a different version than I did or is completely clueless.

So men 'act a certain way when they're hurt'... huh? Sorry but what does this have to do with anything?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I said thank you twice. Anyway I’ll just talk to him and clear this up, once and for all. And at the very worse at least there will be more clarity and less awkward tension when we see each other, even if nothing romantic comes of it

[spartan55]

Great, what's your plan?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Just going to wave and say hi and maybe mention “so, how do you stay in such good shape when you’re always on your phone and working every time I see you here?” 🤷‍♂️😂

[spartan55]

That's pretty good, where did all the shyness go?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I mean under the shyness there’s a pretty cool chick 😎

[spartan55]

I read the opinion labeling him an asshole... so wrong. How tf do you 'aggressively ignore' someone? How do you know he even noticed you looking at him and smiling? That is NOT showing interest either.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I don’t think he did anything wrong either. I think only way to resolve this is for me to just strike up a convo

[spartan55]

Yeah, are you going to do it?

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Yes and I’ll let you know how it goes for real

[spartan55]

Okay, good luck!

[AimeeKyle]

No reciprocation requires redirecting efforts. If you had no interest and he continued he would be considered a creep or stalker.

Give nothing, expect nothing.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I’ll just write him a note.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Haha so strange you girls confuse guys like you want to be stared at or not 🤣

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I want to. Other women are just full of shit.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Honest girl 👌

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Kind of annoying when women dress to the nines and then get mad if ANYONE looks. Like wtf?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Yup and they say they dressed for themselves while they dressed clearly for attention whats wrong in saying they dress for attention because they want to look beautiful it's one of the traits of women.

In every other species males are the ones that are more beautiful , but with humans the ratio changes.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but this is fucking hilarious. Women bitch and moan all the time about men checking them out at the gym.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I don’t mind if they do at all.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Maybe it’s a cultural difference. In European countries the female form is more appreciated and here women don’t want to be “objectified.”

[bewilderedunfiltered]

Probably thinks you are not interested, and is moving on to other women.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I never see him with other women though.
Honestly I feel intimidated by this guy for some reason and am scared of him but at the same time like him a lot. So it’s partially my fault. He complimented me like 6 months ago and I turned him down at first and still stared and then stared at me a few months later after not seeing each other for a while and complimented me again. Now he’s kind of ignoring me but will still be like physically near me.

[bewilderedunfiltered]

Well, you turned him down.
You made it clear you were not interested
You then didn't talk for a while

He will of course move onto other women because you showed no interest.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I think I’m sort of on his radar still though. He complimented my hair not too long ago and I said thank you (after the first time I turned him down) and then I felt like he was avoiding me but I don't know. Can I still go talk to him?
I looked at his today and smiled and he was looking, stopped, and was initially going another direction but ended up walking past me. Maybe he’s shy too and was trying to make a move?

[bewilderedunfiltered]

Yes, talk to him

[Ekaterina_Russia]

How about this? Smile and say hi and then a “so how do you stay in such good shape when you’re always on your phone or working when I see you here?”

[msc545]

He is reacting to you having ignored him too many times.

[Gwenhwyfar]

He thought you weren’t interested

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Today I saw him and tried smiling and looking at him. He was initially heading in the other direction but stopped and turned around and walked right past me but I looked away so he didn’t come say anything. Then I was sitting by myself and there was an empty chair by me and he sat down to take a call in it but purposely turned the chair to face the other direction. Then walked away not looking at me at all.

[Gwenhwyfar]

He’s pissed at you cause he thinks you were ignoring him

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Why is he so mad at me though? Isn’t that sort of aggressive? I mean we don’t know each others names. Can I just write him a note?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I would just ignore him. He sounds like an asshole.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Why does he sound like an asshole?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Totally ignoring you just cause he thought you weren’t interested. Not a nice guy. Find a better guy.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Well isn’t that what someone should do if someone isn’t showing interest?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yeah but not so aggressively. And once you do show interest they should be grateful not pissed. Find another guy. Any other guy but this one.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Wait sorry maybe I’m tripping but you think he’s posed at me showing him interest back?

[Gwenhwyfar]

He’s pissed cause you ignored him at first when he should be grateful you’re finally showing interest

[Ekaterina_Russia]

Yeah but honestly I don’t think he knows I am. I still ignore looking at him sometimes and act like I can’t see him either. So he might also be confused. I’m just shy.

[Gwenhwyfar]

He might be. If you really think he’s confused and not just being an asshole you should go talk to him.

[Ekaterina_Russia]

I’ll talk to him. Plus it’s a gym we are at so I can always report him if he’s actually being inappropriate.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Good idea 😊

[Dragonstarterplus]

Ya snooze ya lose