How come some guys won’t take no for answer? Was my wife right to yell at him?

[michael45]

My wife is 24 years old. We have been together for almost 7 years. She’s currently in school getting her bachelor’s degree.

While she was out today studying with a friend she was approached by some guy who claimed to have seen her on campus and said he found her attractive. She respectfully thanked him and said she was happily married, but he tries again and she once again says no.

As her and her friend prepared to leave. He tries for a third time. Annoyed, she snaps at the guy telling him to stay away from her. His friend apologized to her for everything.

How come guys won’t take no for an answer? Did my wife handle this situation the right way?

[WhiteSteve]

I have a theory that all these romantic comedies featuring Average Joes who land women out of their league through sheer persistence teach some guys that “ ‘No’ means ‘maybe’, at first.” Maybe she’s even taken, but the whole storyline goes that the incumbent dude is a jerk and she could do better, and Seth Rogen or whatever similar everyman they cast to rival the handsome-but-sucks-as-a-person boyfriend has to just keep trying for a couple a months until the hot chick realizes she’s been overlooking this great guy who just isn’t conventionally attractive, and she finally dumps the prettyboy douchebag for the doughy nice guy.

I mean, it sounds like the particular guy you’re talking about might just be a creep outright, I’m more talking in general, and that it maybe paved the road a little more smoothly for these guys who could potentially NOT be harmless. But even just for the generally harmless guy just running the risk of annoying a woman or causing her alarm (albeit unwarranted, in their particular case), I think it just gives them the wrong message. I think a little more closely along the Chris Rock theory of “a woman knows if she’s going to fuck you within the first five minutes of meeting you.” He says “Women be shaking hands like ‘Oh, I’mma fuck him. Just hope he doesn’t go and say something too STUPID!”😂 I mean, I don’t think it’s quite that cut-and-dry across the board, I’m just saying I find that more likely than some dorky dude winning over some dime chick through repeated amorous advances or romantic gestures.

So I don’t really know this guy’s profile, if he’s some well-meaning underdog type or if he’s some dude who picks up tons of chicks via confident cold approaches, or just some weirdo. I’m leaning towards weirdo since she said she was married. “I have a boyfriend” is the oldest excuse in the book, so as much as I’d advise a graceful exit after the first refusal, I could at least somewhat understand why someone might think another run at her would be an ok idea in their own mind, like “hang on, let me pop a couple of Tic-Tacs this time, maybe it was just that tuna sandwich I ate for lunch.” “I’m married” is a definite “fuck off” answer, lmao. So you’re either weird or WILDLY overconfident (as well as unethical) to take multiple runs at a married woman.

[bones_20]

Yeah, she had every right to tell him to stay away from her. He should have listened the first time. To keep going after being told no is harassment.

[yucychan]

How do you think she should have handled the situation?

[michael45]

I think she handled it perfectly. Apparently, campus security said she could’ve handled it better. Which pissed me off.

[yucychan]

@michael45
The campus security is a douche. Trust your guts.
Some jerks does not take no for an answer, she was right in being firm and snapping at him.

[michael45]

He hasn't bothered her since so thank goodness.