I think OTHER MEN are the issue when it comes to progressive movement in this area.
I’ve never really seen women making fun of other men for asking for help, holding back men from talking about their emotions, etc.
My thoughts on this?
Men are human.
Whatever is associated with traditionally being a man (bravery, strength, power, toughness, fearlessness, etc.) it is important to note that everyone is a human first and foremost and that humans are a lot more complicated than descriptors of what a man should be, should act, should want to be, should like, etc.
I think this has caused a lot more issues in society, all across the world rather than helped.
A man can still be brave, strong, tough, and more all while still wanting to express emotions, seeking help when he needs or wants it, etc.
A more progressive society, in all manners/facets of life, overall, will continue to deviate away from strict traditional ways of thinking about problems, women, children, men, etc.
•Why aren’t people sacrificing children & animals to appease the gods when they experience a storm?
•Why is the enslavement of people across the world been becoming less and less prevalent, in many places, completely eradicated?
•Why has prisons and justice systems across the world been more intricate, moral, fair, and systematized? As opposed to more barbarian-style mob justice, public executions, inhumane prison conditions, unfair & biased trials, etc.
All of this has been the result of:
•Improvements in technology & the availability of such technology to more and more people across the world.
•Wise and intelligent people heeding the mistakes of the past to offer solutions and betterment for the future.
When it comes to men being more open about their emotions and asking for help whenever they need it, who is to blame for stopping progress in this?
I don't waste time fixing blame, I spend it fixing problems, but on the whole I'd say men have a harder time grappling with emotions and asking for help.
Since I'm in the death care field, I see men being open with their emotions several times a week. With the death of loved ones comes grief. It seems like the older men get, the less they care about what people think about sharing their emotions, and asking for help (or taking advantage of an offer for it). As people age, with a few exceptions, they become wiser, more resilient, and more comfortable in their own skin - older and wiser.
Although not specifically related to the topic, here's a phenomenon I see regularly. Married men, especially those in their 60s and older, seem to go through life thinking that they should be - and will be - the first to die. That's the way it's supposed to be, women live longer than men, etc. They spend their working lives planning for it to be that way, and plan finances under the assumption they will die first - an obligation to make sure their survivors are taken care of. I see probably more widowers than I see widows, who come across as really distraught, confused, and wondering how to go forward since the couple died "in the wrong order." People are amazingly resilient and will bounce back, but clearly they weren't planning for the possibility of life without their lifelong mates.
I've found most men are not ones to usually ask for help dealing with grief, but if the offer is there and they're given a choice, they'll take it. I recently hosted a grief seminar with a couple of savvy speakers, open not only to those who lost a loved one, but anyone having a hard time dealing with loss. I expected maybe 10 people max would show. But the house was packed; only a handful were women, the rest were widowers. They found great comfort in being with others dealing with the same life event. I saw a few men breaking down, but mostly they were talking about the way ahead. Interesting experience.
Personally, I always felt closer to a guy who allowed himself to break down to me. But it's not just other men who keep men afraid to show their emotions. There are women out there who will make men feel like they aren't real men because they break down and cry. But hopefully those men and women who think like that are a dying breed.
I feel it is something that has to be done by both men and women.
You are right, we as men are human as well. Everyone has breaking points on what they can deal with and those who say they don't are lying. Likening men to endless responsibilities and traits that embody masculinity and how a man is defined from what society has pushed is what has created a rift.
Women will be able to get away with saying it, but men are very vocal about how being emotional or seeking help is seen as a sign of weakness and makes you less of a man and less desirable and respectable as a man when that is not the case.
Men need to be able to support each other and build each other up without the fear of repercussion and their masculinity coming into play because of what has been taught for ages and what they know from growing up and personal experience.
Now the reason I say women are responsible for sharing this as well is because there are women who see that men who do this are weak and not "real men" as well. It's because of that that you have men afraid or refusing to be vulnerable and open with women because they don't want their woman doubting who they are at their core and their competence to handle things that arise. Which is why men take what women say about liking vulnerable and emotional men with a grain of salt.
@OlderAndWiser hit the nail on the head in terms of how women play a role in this as well.
To put it simply, both men and women are responsible for this in order to make that perception change.
No. Governments only act in self interest. So until mens well being is in their interest, it doesn't matter which gender is dominant in the government.
And i doubt a mostly female government would be any different or better
I think @OlderAndWiser got it right. I'll add that there is a difference between a man showing his emotions once he is in an established and loving relationship with a woman versus doing it when dating, and even then it is different for men than women.
Women do indeed pay lip service to the idea that men should "have the right" to be open about their emotions. But men who show emotion in the same way that is acceptable for women to show theirs can and do pay a high price for it with women.
Bottom line, men are allowed to show their emotions as long as it is done in a manner that does not undermine a woman's respect for him as a man. That is the unspoken truth about this issue.
I think that women have a very pervasive but unspoken message. They want a man only if he is strong, a leader, a provider, and a pillar of strength. While women pay some lip service to wanting men to be more emotionally expressive, the fact is that the more a guy does express his emotions, the more he is seen as a weak male.
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So, your very last sentence is only true if the man is only known for this. If the man has demonstrated what you’ve mentioned (strong, leader, provider, pillar of strength, etc.) then when he does demonstrate other more soft and compassionate qualities it will make not only those qualities mean more but it also make his stronger or hard qualities mean more as well.
Do you think women want a man who cannot also be soft, compassionate, loving, etc.
If you think about, how much more appealing is a strong man once he has demonstrated he can also be loving, caring, compassionate, etc.
A lot more appealing to everyone.
Become a lion first and then you can start acting a bit like a mouse when it is appropriate. It’ll be more honorable, attractive, reasonable, and appealing.
If you become a mouse and only act like a mouse then you’re just weak, timid, shy, etc. This is a liability and this is what people mean by the word “cowardice.”
I think there are women who want a man who is strong 100% of the time but if you ask them about that directly, they will say that they want a man who expresses his emotions, because they feel a societal pressure to say the "appropriate" thing. It's like women saying they want a man who will be absolutey honest with them. . . until they ask "do these pants make my butt look big?"
@EmbraceThePain I agree with you. Being strong and soft is exactly what I like and got in a man. His breakdowns only brought us closer and I see his strength in over coming what broke him down.
You are a progressive activist. Quit your nonsense. You get off on simping and are furiously masterbating while typing this most likely. If not you will laying in bed at night thinking about cuckoldry and femdom.
What you're saying makes zero sense and has nothing to do with slavery or the justice system. But like all progressive activists everything has to do with everything else. Ie the blurring of sexuality and race. They are not the same thing but tell that to a progressive activist ie "transphobia is racism" this is the main thing that gives you and your disgusting progressive political agenda away.
As long as the guy isn’t an attention seeker or manipulating me with his tears, I weirdly like to see them cry. It’s because it’s more genuine due to their reserved nature. So it makes me stare more and draw from the situation.
ughh, I'd rather eat dog shit or just take a punch in the face than talk about feelings or some shit like this. My face will heal. Got better things to do, even in my darkest times. My brothers wife makes him go to therapy regularly even if nothing is wrong between them. Its the thing he hates most about his marriage. Seriously, what's the point of this?
Society is to blame really, Because Men get a lot less support when they are Emotional and We are considered a lot less Attractive by Females when we are Emotional.
Feminism stopped any progress on this issue. It wasn't an egalitarian movement but a movement to erase the spotlight from men, which consequently, will have to include their pains as well.
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