Guys, how do I work up the nerve to tell a guy I like him and cope with the rejection, especially if it's someone who's friendship I value deeply?

[Anonymous]

We met online, not on a dating app or anything, and we live several states apart, so we haven't been able to meet in person yet. Also, considering the short time we've known each other and the distance, I think I know him pretty well. We talked every single day for two months, then most days for the last couple months, and there have been practically no boundaries regarding what we talk about and share with each other, down to some really deeply personal stuff I don't think you would normally share with a near stranger. He's really the best friend I've had in a long time, maybe ever, which is a big reason I'm so afraid to say anything, because for whatever reason I'm afraid of making it awkward. I don't want him to think I only care because I like him, because I cared about him before I liked him.

[LohrvsData]

A few months is rather short for an online relationship. Yes, I have gone down the online relationship route, and it did work out great for a long while. We lasted a few years. We are still good friends though. I knew my ex for 3 years before taking the "risk" though. I put that in quotation marks because online relationships are typically riskier for women than they are for men. That is not to say bad things cannot happen to a man, it's just more common for women. I'm keeping things real for you.

I say if you do tell him, you should start out slow. The first meeting should be on YOUR turf. I say this because if you're on your turf, you have family and friends that can help you in case it comes down to you finding yourself in a dangerous situation. Your specified age range suggests that you are, as far as experience and wisdom, basically still a child.

If things work out between you, and you still like him, that's great! You can get more serious with him and eventually marry if that's what you so choose. Just keep in mind that his "real" self may not be as wholesome as his online self.

That's just my two cents.

[Guy13]

Risk it…straightforward with gentle tone, energy, and “but I’ll settle for just friends” feeling if it implodes upon you.

[PrettyPriya]

This is very confusing. If you met on a dating app, the expectation is that you were looking for a relationship. So, not sure why he would be off put by you professing your feelings for that.

The other part that is confusing is that you say you have a deep friendship. You haven’t even met though. I understand you talk about personal things but I am unsure how you can say that it is such a deep friendship never having actually sat down face to face.

My advice is to just tell him how you feel considering you met on a dating app. You really don’t have much to lose.

[Asker]

Not on a dating app

[PrettyPriya]

My apologies. Ok, so then if your friendship is that strong and could be ruined, what do you value more?

Do you value the friendship or CHANCE at a relationship? What’s the more important thing. Answer that to yourself and you have your answer.

Of course, you already know that you are taking a chance that may not work and destroy that friendship.

[spartan55]

If you've only corresponded online then you don't have a real relationship.

[LohrvsData]

^ This is good advice. Take things slow.

[Wise4myage]

If you value his friendship, than its best to remain friends and not say anything.