Men and Mom's death?

[tracyann41]

My husband's mom just died a few days ago and he was close to his mom he's very sad and very hurt he looks lost and broken now, I'm trying to give him his space to grieve I know men do it differently than women I get that but he's been really distant towards me kind of giving me an attitude a little bit lately avoiding a lot of contact with me, how do men grieve their mom's death what should I do to help him? it hurts me to see him hurt but It also hurts me the way he's been treating me because of it I'm stuck I'm not trying to be selfish he needs me not my emotions, i need some advice on what to do and how most men deal with grieving their moms death I know men / boys have a harder time when their mom's pass away just need some friendly advice on what I can do or what I should do?

[HighValue]

Give him time to himself, but also go up to him and give him long hugs too.

[Pyrofox]

I'd say your emotions are okay so long as you help him get back on track.

[hypojoe]

Well i never feally grieved and for some reason my family was telling me i should hurry and say goodbye , im not they type to watch someone die and that nite out of knowwhere it rained 6 inches in 2 hours and flooded my house almost like she did not want me to see her that way and for years I was kicking myself in the ass , some people it may take years for them to grieve or they might not grieve at all. All you can really do is be there for him or get the family together and has a party and celibrate him moms life because its not about him its about her so celibrate her life and never forget her

[tracyann41]

Thank u

[Loth2770]

Give him space. Lots of it, for a while. He will be both angry and sad, and though that anger might come out on you, know that it’s not directed towards you, it’s his frustration with the world/God/fate/whatever.

[jahaims]

Men don't universally mourn the same just because we share a gender. He isn't in the right headspace so I wouldn't take it personally. I would just flat out ask how can I best be here for you.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to say, everyone is different, my mom passed 17 years ago and my wife at the time became a bit distant instead and things changed because my mom always kept her in a better mood because they were close too , seems my mom made my marriage last but afterwards it wasn’t the same, I wasn’t mean to my wife though, just needed time and space

[Sparkie460]

How was the relationship between him and his mom? I lost both of my parents at different times. I know what he is going through

[tracyann41]

It was good he lost his dad about a year ago but I can see this one's bothering him differently

[Sparkie460]

The reality that his parents are not here anymore is setting in. I lost my dad in 2005 then my mom in 2018. It was hard losing my dad but I knew that I had my mom still. When she died, I had nobody. Only time will heal his heartache. Just be there for him. Let him know that he can lean on you for support. My wife was there for me. We've been through a lot together.