If a guy comes really fast, should the woman be offended?

[lilyanony1]

He claimed he was embarrassed... And doesn't usually do this but did nothing to redeem himself from the act... Just said he was embarrassed and couldn't really say much else...

[Anonymous]

There's no "should" with any kind of feelings first off. But what is offensive exactly? It's more disappointment isn't it? lol He would be embarrassed, not sure why you doubt that when "performance" pressure is huge with us (and often the reason WHY it happens lol, too much pressure and too much in his head, not relaxed enough). But like you women with your insecurities on your body, what likely happened is he became so upset and focused on that, that he couldn't think of you at that point (why communication is so important). How the women reacts (or doesn't - silence is the WORST reaction you can do as the woman for him), makes a huge difference as well. But like anything embarrassing (think of something for you), when it happens, you naturally want to avoid it, get away from it, or have it stop right? That's all that was going through his mind when it happened. Again, why communication is so important!

[Opinion Owner]

If you orgasmed quickly, should the guy be offended?

[lilyanony1]

Well no since women can usually go again. I think a guy is happiest when a woman is able to cum quickly and frequently.
I was quiet simply because he was... i showed him some funny videos on Instagram to distract for a bit. And then we cuddled for a while. He was still awkward so I asked him if he was still uncomfortable so I just said... Get over it. Times passed now. And he said "alright!"
I got up and showered so he could have some time for himself alone.
And he dropped me home...

[Opinion Owner]

So if that happens again, "get over it" won't make him feel better about it (would it you?). Even if we know better mentally, it's feelings that are involved. Next time, act like it's no big deal that it happened. Even act happy, something like "yay! I see I did my job well!" - the goal/idea, is to NOT make him feel bad that it happened, but that it's no big deal and you just go for round 2. There's lots you (and he) can do while he recoups and gets hard again (which for most guys, will happen within 20 mins max). He can go down on you, make out, cuddle etc. All the while getting YOU more and more excited and closer. Also, if this is a new relationship, one of the first times you've had sex together, or you don't have sex very often, these all will contribute to how quickly he orgasms. This should improve over time the more comfortable he gets around you, being naked, and having sex. That's all that's "wrong" most likely, he's just too much in his head and not relaxed enough. I also suggest (if possible) to spend time just naked with each other even (no sex), like if you're watching a movie. It'll get you both comfortable just being naked with each other. It'll probably help a great deal.

[lilyanony1]

I didn't say it to be rude.
I was just letting him know it's really no biggie.
The difference between he and I is, that due to my grief and depression I'm no longer as horny as I used to be.
There's a disconnect. Sometimes my bodies feeling it. And my mind isn't there. Or my mind and my body isn't.
So I need a lot of build up to help my body align.
I was disappointed simply because I had been holding back from him.
We've been dating a month now.
When we got back to his we were too tired. The morning was a little meh!
I also think he hadn't fully woken up.
All I can say is that I'm still interested and he seems keen so that's the most important things... I'll let him arrange our next date as I have a puppy on the way. He requires my film attention at least for the first three weeks.

[Opinion Owner]

"I didn't say it to be rude" - I know, I wasn't there but I got that vibe even from reading it, but even so, just those choice of words you know? When it comes to feelings, it'll still hit a nerve a bit (think of if it was said to you, even in that context, it still hits home a bit right?). Just feelings, they don't make logical sense often lol. My advice if you have different sex drives (or times), is "force it" sometimes maybe? Like I'm not suggesting full on sex session if you're not into it at all, but say like, just give him a hj for example in those times. It probably won't be "horrible" for you (?), and it'll make him happy.

[lilyanony1]

I'll see how we get on. We're trying to have a mature relationship. He's not been so successful...

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know him, but just remember that comments like "get over it", even in non-offensive or "joking" way, will still likely hit a nerve, so that won't help with the maturity either because if he takes it the wrong way or beats himself up over it (and he likely is mentally), this will only get him thinking more irrationally because hurt feelings are coming into play,

[Makeushiver]

I'd think it would be more of a compliment though that wouldn't help you much in any given situation. It indicates how turned on you make him. Good luck. I don't know how they work but any topical anesthetic would slow him down. Cock rings- you might prefer one that vibrates - are supposed to help. You might be too much for the young lad. If anything, it should be flattering if also frustrating. Maybe he should go down on you before it's his turn. It would be the courteous thing. You are far more likely to find him enthusiastic before he gets off. It's a lot more fun , for him as well as you, to get your partner off.

[Wavvygurl]

No, I wouldn’t be offended, even though this situation can be very disappointing and unsatisfying for the woman. It means that he was incredibly turned on, and he unexpectedly let it slip. Was there a lot of foreplay before the act? Was it the first time you two had sex? Perhaps he needs to practice actively holding back his orgasm. Maybe take a break if he feels he’s getting too close and play with you for a bit. Or watch you play with yourself.

[AmandaYVR]

Here's the twin to your q.

If a guy orgasms fast, does that mean that he enjoy the sex? And was the pussy good?

[AimeeKyle]

I would think the girl should be flattered that the guy was so excited he couldn’t contain himself…. It’s happened to all guys at least once…. The key is, did he just end it there or did he do other things to pleasure you? If he continued on with other activities to give you an O, then everything should be good (which is how I would react if it happened).

[lilyanony1]

No he was "too embarrassed"

[AimeeKyle]

That’s unfortunate. Hopefully he can reflect/learn from the experience (performance and giving nature).

[wingattebaby16]

if it is a one time thing, no.

if he cums too fast all the time, then as the woman, you should buy an Xtends numbing cream to put on his penis.

it will stop him cumming fast and often, takes a good 10 mins for the Event to happen.

[mandyfire98]

I've had a few times where there was a quick finish. I'm never offended by it and I'm always understanding. Most guys definitely want to last longer.

However I still think if they finish quick that they still need to try to get me off.

[bean2k21]

It shows a lack of control and imagination. Any bloke can make sex last for hours if he's really into it. The knot-tying itself is a good five or ten minutes, not to mention letting her hang from the restraining device while you punish her for her transgressions.

[laurieluvsit]

... or upset!

Do mothers no longer teach their sons proper manners and etiquette? ... lol

[Surely]

Sometimes it just happens. For example. Long time without orgasm, too much fore playing, woman extra snug, and stress.

If you gave him another chance. Hopefully he redeemed himself.

[lilyanony1]

He told me he had sex 2 weeks ago... So now that's basically 4 weeks ago.
Today when we had sex, I had been waking him up and teasing him for at least an hour. Tickling, wrestling and resisting... By the time he was allowed he was super hard and I was dripping. He claims it was too much, the wetness, the warmth, the tightness! Less than 4 strokes and barely even in and boom it was over.

[Surely]

@lilyanony1. You seem to be in a bad situation. If he had sex more often, he would probably last longer. But you say he doesn’t want to.
Maybe you could try edging him. Providing he allows you.
I guess if you really love him you will find a way to make him a better lover.
If not. Then you need to find someone more compatible. I am sorry to say.

[Yeetboi__]

Yeah that's a bit long to 'build up' so to speak. Especially if you like to tease.
Im not on creep mode, I'm just being fr. It's just been a minute for him and some guys can't hold that in like others can. That's all.

[lilyanony1]

Tbh he was the one saying he just wanted to sleep.
Which is why I was teasing him for so long.
We will see what happens next time if anything does happen.

[Surely]

@lilyanony1. This is a good reason to have a test drive before buying the whole bill of goods! Sometimes you just don’t get what you bargained for!
You two are just not completely compatible in that area.
Wishing you a whole lot of luck in your decision!

[lilyanony1]

I don't know if I'd say sexually were incompatible. I think we were in different places mentally.
I don't usually spoon my partner when sleeping. He loves it. I did it to make him comfortable.
I have a very quiet life, his is very active and he's out and about a lot.
He was out drinking on Friday night, again with me on Saturday and again on Sunday night after I left.
That's why he's so tired. I only really make small plans and don't really drink.
I also prefer activities rather than being sat chatting to people for hours on end.
I'm not anti social I just run out of things to say.
I will soon have a dog and an excuse 😂

[Surely]

@lilyanony1. How old is he? He should soon be out of the “Party all weekend mode “ and not be so tired that he can’t take care of his “homework !”
Until he slows down with his social life. You are just a place to lay his head !

[lilyanony1]

He's 30 I'm 31 we're just 2 months apart.
He hasn't really had relationships longer than a year... So I'll give him time. My priority now will be my puppy.
So he's free to do as he pleases... I won't and can't chase after him. He has to know what he wants

[Surely]

@lilyanony1. Time for him to mature and begin a stable life instead of killing brain cells every weekend. While having a loving companion waiting on him at home. Hopefully he won’t realize this when it is too late!
What kind of puppy 🐶 did you get? Hope it was a rescue one!

[lilyanony1]

Well we may be in luck. He said today that he doesn't think he can handle it anymore 😂... He's an electrician and he's taking more courses so that he can earn more. He's been talking about trying to build a team to do more work so he will definitely need to fix up.

I applied for a rescue dog at a few centres here, the first time I applied they didn't even process my application, I had to chase them up. I think they stopped wanting to help with my application because I rejected their attempt to put me on a subscription. I made a one of payment which is effectively 13 months subscription.
Anyways they messed me around, I've been waiting since 2018...
So I decided to bite the bullet and get rehome privately.
He's a gorgeous red coat Boston terrier.. Only 2 months old, so very high energy.
But I know I won't be able go resist spoiling him rotten.
The bum wiggles will just get to me.

[Surely]

@lilyanony1 wish you well with your puppy and boyfriend!

[lilyanony1]

Thank you

[DizzyDesii]

I think its hot if a guy cums quick as long as he can give me more rounds right after. But if he cums quick then taps out, nah

[Chazmatazz269]

Offended because he came quickly? Not at all. Flattered, if anything. If he didn’t return the favor though, then yeah i’d be offended by that.

[anylolone]

Well, you could have someone like me, who doesn't cum at all.

In my experience you girls take that even worst...

[lilyanony1]

Oh wow...
Sore all the time.

[Yeetboi__]

It depends what "too fast" is to her. If you can eat some good P, I see no issue but lets just hope she is outward about her unpleasures bc a lot of them keep their mouth shut about it.

Just learn to eat some P!

[MikeInHawaii]

Women don’t keep their mouths shut about bad sex. They tell their friends, they tell their sisters, they yell their hairdressers, they tell their bartenders, they just don’t tell you!

[Yeetboi__]

@MikeInHawaii This is true and I don't know how I let that go over my head!

[AviatorTom]

She should only be offended if he just stopped and didn't take any further actions to pleasure her.

[jshm2]

Offended at what?

If it was a one night fling, or you paid for sex, then yes you didn't get value.

But if it was a one off then maybe give him a berry smoothie to recover and go again in a couple of hours.

[hyperben]

what do you want him to say/do to redeem himself? guys will come really quickly when theyre really stimulated or under sexed.

[MikeInHawaii]

Exactly. So do him again an hour later!

[SunflowerT96]

Personally I wouldn't be offended, I think you can tell the difference between a guy wanting a quick finish and a genuine mistake.

[Agagagagaga]

Cumming is a mistake?

[SunflowerT96]

@Agagagagaga doing it so quickly it's always on purpose is what I meant, obviously it can't be controlled

[SunflowerT96]

Isn't**

[dustybiker]

No efforts to still please you? That would be offensive..

[lilyanony1]

No effort... He has said he needs to redeem himself so we will see what will happen.

[dustybiker]

Uncool. And good luck.

[lilyanony1]

It is what it is tbh... It was our first time. Let's see if he makes up for it

[dustybiker]

Ah. That explains a lot. Maybe it’s been a long while for him.

[lilyanony1]

Hmm... I'll give him another go. And see...

[RobT312]

Happened to me. I was embarrassed. I suppose women should be flattered. They excite us so much

[Shamalien]

It’s really fucked how women just tell everyone about their sexual experiences. 4 strokes and done is pretty embarrassing. I consider quick like 3 minutes, not 4 strokes.

[lilyanony1]

You don't know me, you don't know him. I figured it's better asking here then telling my friends.

[Shamalien]

So you didn’t tell your friends?

[Zolly99999]

Yes I think so. I would never leave s girl hanging like that.. I always try my best to get her off before me

[Wubs3000]

He didn't make it up to you? I feel like that should be expected right even if he was embarrassed.

[maximumpower]

Sometimes it just happens.
Nobody should be offended or embarrassed.

[TacosRAwesome]

Only if he goes to sleep soon after and I'm just left there.

[Andres77]

The best apology for cumming too quick is immediately eating her Pussy

[Andres77]

Actions speak louder than words. Show me how sorry you really are

[lilyanony1]

Indeed he seemed to be too embarrassed

[Andres77]

Well he better grow up

[BLP11520]

First time with him? He was to excited to cum in a hot lady 🤔 maybe

[xJayleenx]

No it’s supposed to be a good thing. And that’s normal at first

[Still-alive]

phew. good :P

[exitseven]

it is the opposite. You got him really turned on and he lost control.

[Anonymous]

It's not the girls fault. He just got a little excited and finished first.

[krin_m]

I'm sure he would last longer in the second round. Take it as compliment, that you aroused hem sexually that strongly!

[Anonymous]

Women can and do take offense for absolutely any and all reason. They choose to take offense. It's rare the other person was trying to offend.

[Opinion Owner]

Liliyanon1, you took offense at that answer?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think it's a good thing, he did it for you for what I can see?

[AFretiredTXn]

How young was he , and was he a Virgin?

[lilyanony1]

He's not a virgin

[AFretiredTXn]

Probably still young and excited

[lilyanony1]

Yea he's 30

[AFretiredTXn]

He must really be into you and just can't control himself yet.

[lilyanony1]

Who knows...

[Wise4myage]

No, because its very common for lots of guys.

[Massageman]

I think she should take it as a compliment!

[MikeInHawaii]

Maybe it’s been a while. Do him again in an hour.

[Angel_123]

damn 🤣🤣tell him keep it in bro

[FilmGuy93]

No. Why would that be an offensive thing?

[lilyanony1]

He said he was embarrassed

[FilmGuy93]

Oh... that's just because guys feel a lot of pressure to perform in bed. We assume that women want us to last for a long time, every time we have sex.

[lilyanony1]

Well we're still talking. I do like him a lot

[FilmGuy93]

That's good! Sometimes the trick with cultivating a sexual relationship is to focus on the pillow talk. You want to have a relationship with someone you bang; not sex with someone you happen to know.

[lilyanony1]

😊 Thanks for the advice

[AndrésC64]

Why the hell should the woman be embarrassed?

[lilyanony1]

Why the hell? What's with the language? It's a reasonable question...

[boobliker]

it may have been a while ago his last time

[Anonymous]

No. It's not his fault she can't focus.

[EaterPeter]

This was ons?

[lilyanony1]

No my new lobe interest

[lilyanony1]

*love

[EaterPeter]

I mean you have done it more than ones?

[EaterPeter]

Have you *

[lilyanony1]

No this was just the first time. He has said he wants to redeem himself. Maybe this weekend we shall seeb

[Alex8736]

Not at all

[LoyalAffectionate]

No way

[Anonymous]

I donno