Is it normal for guys not to open up as easily even with someone they are in a relationship with?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend on Sunday was just sitting and he was staring off into space. I could tell something was really bothering him. I asked him many times if he was okay and he just shook his head no then I would ask what’s wrong and he would shake his head again. Even when I offered to hug him a few times he just sat there he didn’t shake his head yes or no but he just sat there like he was thinking about it.

Is it normal for guys not to open up so easily? And if there are some ways that anyone has learned to help them even just say what’s bothering them then what are those things?

[Jayjay1234567890]

I am married to a guy that is so hard to open up to me, eventually I have learnt that when I feel like he is feeling under the weather I would let him know that I can see that by asking the same question you did " whats wrong?" " did something happen at work?" "Are you ok?" If he denies ( which is always) I give him a hug and tell him " I am here whenever you want to talk". After an hour or 2 or even a day or 2 he would come and start venting. Give them time. Boys never learnt to express their feelings as easily as we did 🤍

[Jacobbbb]

This is just my take but guys in general aren't really open with their emotions especially if it was engrained in their heads that they shouldn't look weak or vulnerable in front of people, since it'd be considered a bit unmasculine. Society has always pressured men to be that way and I never really saw the point.

[Asker]

Yah I agree men should be allowed to express their emotions just as women should.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes that’s common. He doesn’t want to share what’s wrong for fear you will judge him for it. How did you feel with him being quiet?

[Asker]

I felt worried because it’s not like him to be so quiet. All I wanted in that moment and all i still want is for him to be okay. I do want him to share with me what’s bothering him but if he doesn’t want to share than I will have to respect that.

[BarryLiverstone]

Lots of times when guys have problems they will ‘go into their caves’ alone to try and process the issue. I’m sure after some time he will feel better. Are you going to ask him next week what was bothering him?

[Asker]

Maybe I don’t know. I’m going to see him tomorrow and see how he is doing. He texted me on Sunday saying he was fine but I could tell he wasn’t. Any tips for what I should do to make him know I won’t judge.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes be sweet to him and give him a few compliments when you see him to remind him how you value him. If he does talk about his problem then you can emphasize by sharing a similar issue you had to go through. Overall he wants to be a hero and strong to you so remind him that he’s important

[Asker]

Thank you! I will thank you!!

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. I hope this information makes you feel less worried and that you want to talk to him more

[BarryLiverstone]

Ty for the like, did you get to talk to him?

[Asker]

No not yet I will tomorrow

[BarryLiverstone]

How did it go when you talked to him?

[Asker]

We didn’t talk 100%……….
My friends found out about us and they spread rumors freaking fast…… lol. I’m screwed. I apologized to him many times but he seems to be okay ish about it.

[BarryLiverstone]

What rumors?

[Asker]

Just rumors s a general and we didn’t want that many people to know yet

[Wise4myage]

Its normal for guys who are really shy.