He says he’s Interested, but takes a whole day to respond?

[Hot_girl_bummer]

So there’s this guy that I went on a date with, and also slept with. We had a great time and even went for breakfast afterwards. We’ve been talking ever since, but not too consistently. I actually can’t stop thinking about that night, because it was probably the best I’ve ever had honestly.

So I ended reaching out and basically told him that I’m completely ok with this just being a physical relationship and for him to let me know what he thinks. A day goes by and he finally responded.. He actually ended up telling me that he would like to keep seeing me and getting to know me more, beyond just sleeping together. Which actually didn’t surprise me because he was very nice and we had a great time. But it also did at the same time because he takes so long to respond.

Anyway.. I ended up responding back saying that I did really enjoyed my time with him, and that I would love to. Then he asked if he could see me this week, and I told him we could see each other on Sunday. At this point it’s been a whole day since I sent him that message and still no response. I know he does work a lot, but if he’s still interested why does he take so long to respond? I’m confused…

[HollyK21]

I say this kindly, but stop deceiving yourself; casual sex is not what you want. Unless it is, but if deep down it’s not then stop telling yourself that it is. Stop internalizing his talking points, and settling for bare minimum. Because you can get great sex from anywhere, but a true connection takes the right kind of person. Deep down I think you know you are already setting the stage to accept treatment below your general standard, like you’re already looking to have his lack of effort validated so you can tell yourself you are overreacting and need to be a better casual partner. Be real with yourself, and if you want a genuine connection then wait for the guy who shows he wants that as well, and I mean actively shows it, not ghost for a day. But you can’t receive with a closed fist. So rather than invest more time in this iffy situation, have the courage to let him go, and find someone who gives the consistency you truly seek from the start.

[Hot_girl_bummer]

I mean, I am completely ok with just a physical relationship. I just got out of a 5 year relationship. Plus I personally have a very high sex drive, but I prefer to fulfill my needs with one person instead of with multiple. But I also am not closed minded, because I’m not one to blocked my blessings if someone casual turns into something more. I don’t however appreciate the grayness that I’m receiving from this person, and that I agree with. Because no matter what kind of relationship it it there should be clear communication. I might cut him off if he continues to act this way though

[HollyK21]

If you’re open to not blocking your blessings, I would still say to engage with someone who offers a more promising situation. With this guy, him saying he wants to get to know you better outside of just sex (at least in my opinion) is somewhat of a lead on, because even he knows that women who say they want casual sex will eventually fall for the guy, and if he wants to keep things platonic, then he’ll do what he’s doing now, which is not over invest, but still give you the idea there is potential for more. That means popping up maybe later today or closer to the weekend with some excuse as to why he’s been awol, but if you’re still down for Sunday. Of course it’s unnecessary since you’ve said you’re fine with just sex, but he may not think you actually mean that if there isn’t some potential on the table at least.

[LazerBean]

That's a good question, because every guy I know responds pretty promptly to girls they're interested in tentionally takes long to reply to girls who they aren't interested in. It's their way if keeping a distance from unwanted girls.

[Hot_girl_bummer]

That’s what I would think, because I’ve done it. But that’s why I’m so confused. Like why say you want to get to know me? And ask to see me this week if you’re going to take so long?

[LazerBean]

Some guys will say whatever to keep the sex coming. That's the most logical explanation to me.

[Hot_girl_bummer]

Exactly. But I already told him that we could just be f buddies to put it lightly. And he turns around and tells me that he wants to get to know me. Like wtf? 😭😭

[JPresidente]

Could be a few different things (1) he's busy at work as you mentioned (2) he doesn't want to come on too strong you guys burn out too quickly by being in your kool-aid constantly (3) he has a busy life with different things going on - hobbies, hanging with the guys, work etc. or (4) you are just 1 of out a possible few girls he is juggling right now in his dating life. Patience grasshopper.

[Hot_girl_bummer]

Update: its been 3 days…

I’m just going to tell him to forget it. Actions speak louder than words

[JPresidente]

@Hot_girl_bummer I understand. He could have at least sent some kind of brief message. One other option is that he could've been a Fboy type. You mighta dodged a bullet with him.

[Hot_girl_bummer]

That’s what I don’t understand. I already have him the green light to just be f buddies. And he told me he wanted to get to know me more. That’s why I’m annoyed 😒

[Hot_girl_bummer]

But yes you’re probably right

[JPresidente]

@Hot_girl_bummer sorry this happened. Hope you find a new guy soon. Make them chase you a bit though before you give up the desert. They're more likely to stick around and fall for ya. Chin up girl. I have a feeling you'll find the right guy soon!

[Hot_girl_bummer]

I appreciate the advice and kind words!

[JPresidente]

You’re welcome! 😉

[Jacobbbb]

I don't think he's really that interested. We're on our phones 24/7 or at the very least check it a few times a day so if he's intentionally delaying his responses I don't think he's into it

[FilmGuy93]

It doesn't sound like you really gave him anything to respond to?

[Hot_girl_bummer]

I did, he asked me if we could see each other this week and I said Sunday works for me. Then I asked if it worked for him

[FilmGuy93]

You could send him a follow up text. There's nothing wrong with sending a gentle reminder. Sometimes people get caught up in the other stuff they're doing and they just forget to respond.

[Wise4myage]

Hey, its his loss if he never responds back to you, but give him another day or two.

[Hot_girl_bummer]

I’m honestly giving him up until tonight. Then I’m probably found to tell him that he’s clearly not interested, and not to worry about it. It’s honestly getting weird at this point

[Wise4myage]

Ok, well I wish you the best.