Why do some guys have girlfriends they're not that into?

[Anonymous]

Like what is the point of this?

A guy was telling me the other day that his girlfriend of 2 years is "not the one" but he's dating her anyway. In fact, he really doesn't sound like he's into her that much. He told me he can't be bothered to even post pictures of them on his profile, even though she posts him multiple times, because "he knows they'll eventually break-up anyway" and that he "doesn't love her enough." He also flirts with other girls behind her back but continues to call her his girlfriend anyway.

Another guy once told me behind his girlfriend's back that he doesn't think she's attractive, and he was calling her "ugly" and says he "can do better than her" and has settled. He's been with this poor girl for just under 5 years. He also flirts with other girls.

What is the point of these guys being in these relationships if they aren't that into these women? Surely that's what commitment is about? Why would they decide to be official in the first place? Why don't they just be single if they aren't that dedicated to these girls?

[Anonymous]

My question is why are you the one they’re confiding in? I’m not saying dead and loveless relationships don’t happen — loneliness, convenience and familiarity play big roles in why people stay in those situations. But in this case it sounds like guys telling you these things because they want their relationship to seem less significant and gain your trust to eventually get something out of you. A lot of men downplay relationships to women.

[Asker]

One of them was my friend's male friend. The other is my close platonic male friend. They weren't just confiding in me but to everyone in the circle at the time. Kinda shady to their girlfriends if you ask me.

[Opinion Owner]

If that’s the case then it’s too bad for their girlfriends but honestly they probably already have an indication of his feelings, they just don’t want to let go and want it to work. Women aren’t stupid, when our boyfriend starts acting mean and resentful or disinterested, we can see that, but some would rather ignore it.

[Asker]

Yeah exactly women aren't stupid. It does annoy me though because I feel they deserve better but it's their decision at the end of the day. I just would want to know if my boyfriend were saying these things about me so I can move on.

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes even if they know he’s saying things like that behind their backs they still stay, unfortunately. There’s women who’ve caught their man cheating literally and still can’t let go. Who knows what sort of person those guys are to their girlfriend both behind closed doors and in the presence of certain company like family. But any woman who really knows their partner can see through the facade and hopefully has the strength to let him go.

[Hanrej]

For the same reasons women do. It's convenient to have somone you can use but arn't that much into that they'll be able to use you. That way you can pursue your ambitions, whatever they may be, without feeling like you have to compromise with what you want.

[Ryan1979]

I have never had a girlfriend I wasn't into. I mean it gets to a point sometimes when I am not into them but that is usually when the relationship ends

[Anonymous]

So they won’t be alone I guess until they find someone else

[Asker]

Isn't that a bit messed up though? If I were these poor girls I would want my boyfriend to tell me so I'm wouldn't waste my time with someone who doesn't really like me

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it’s not right but that’s what they do

[maximumpower]

He's getting something from the relationship.
Not enough to get him to commit, but enough to keep him around until something better comes along.
by the way - women tend to do this more than guys.

[Rockstarrrrr]

That's just people in general... They're with someone they don't really like because it's better than being alone I guess

[Shamalien]

This is super common. I’d say about half of relationships at least are like this, maybe more. Men get regular sex while they can keep an eye open for something better. Women do this as well.

[FilmGuy93]

she's good enough and he's scared of being alone.

[AndrésC64]

Same reason some girls have boyfriends that they're not into.

[Anonymous]

I been deeply in love with the same woman for almost 5 years. I haven't kissed another girl or went out on any dates unlike her who constantly cheats

[exitseven]

They are waiting until someone better comes along.

[Apologies456]

For stability and someone to talk to

[Fuentes]

Settled