Is it a friends with benefits or situationship or dating?

[Anonymous]

We knew each other for 2 months through our circle. After first month it was just a friend with a lot of touching and attractiveness. After 1.5months we had sex and now I think we are more than just friends with benefits but im not sure..

I asked if he is attracted to me, he says yes. I asked if we are just friends, he said no. But he wouldn't ask me out. He said that he wants to go to australia (was planning from last year) but i want to stay here with my family cuz im recently back from working overseas, and want to stay here - nt going to australia. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago. So he also said that this might be a rebound for me.

Also, he mentioned "its fun to be with you. isn't if fun for you? I like to hang out with you" when I asked what our relationship was..

We have sex, go to movies, have dinner outside, go to the beach, hangout everyday and message everyday. He once called me babe and said "that is why im keeping you to myself" - i was drunk so i dnt fully remember the context.

He sneeks in at night ( i live with my parents) and sleepsover and we go out to have breakfast etc.. and then he goes home get showered and then sneaks back at my place. He said that he doesn't want to go home, he wants to be with me.

He kisses me goodnight and tucks me in bed when i go to sleep first and looks at me sleeping and go to bed beside me.

I want something more but Im not sure if he does because when we meet up with our friends (circle) he doesn't really show emotions or talks to me a lot...

Im getting mixed signals.

Is this a friends with benefits / situationship / sex partner? Im so confused and lost...

[MrOracle]

Imagine you're planning a trip - you've got 6 weeks of vacation. You can do this one of two ways:

1. You can go online, check out prices for plane or train tickets, research destinations, book hotels or hostels or AirBnBs, figure out transportation, look up local sites and landmarks, coordinate with any friends or relatives who might live in the area, investigate the local food so you know what you might eat, etc. In other words, you have a solid and well-constructed PLAN that you can follow.

OR

2. You can show up at the airport, point at the departure board, and buy a ticket for whatever flight you pointed at. When you get wherever you went, you can try to figure out what there is to do, or where you want to go. You might have to pay a lot more for a last minute hotel booking at a higher room rate, or you may find that every hotel room for 50 miles is booked because of a huge event in town. You might end up sleeping in the airport, or outside. You may not have the proper clothing for where you ended up, or what you want to do there. All kinds of weirdness could happen, and you know very little about where you are.

What's the difference between these two? Clearly, in the first place, you had a PLAN, and a DESTINATION, and at any time, you could evaluate your progress along your journey and figure out exactly where you were and how long it was likely to take to get to your next stop.

When you have no plan, no organization, no set intentions, then you are adrift in the world. Things are messy, because your planning and intentions were - at best - messy.

That's what you did with your "relationship." You had no plan, set no standards or boundaries, asked no real questions, and now you have no idea where you are or how long until you get to the next stop - or even if you are going in the right direction. You failed to plan or set any expectations, and so you are lost.

When you get together with someone sexually, the DEFAULT situation - what happens automatically if you don't very intentionally follow a plan - is that you become "friends with benefits", i. e., casual sex partners. Relationships (the official, committed kind) don't happen by accident or by default - relationships have to be planned for, and steps have to be carefully followed with firm intention, or you end up lost.

friends with benefits is NOT a stop along the path to a relationship - it's the opposite direction

You also need to realize that once you've been friends with benefits, the chances of a committed relationship with that person go DOWN, not up. He's already getting the benefits of a relationship without many of the costs and liabilities. Why would he choose to change that situation? And you can't make him - he has to want to. And at this point, you have little leverage to change his mind.

Yes, it's possible that he has wanted a committed relationship with you all this time, and you'll still get it - but that's not how I would bet, because the odds are very much against that being the case.

I wish you the best of luck, but if this doesn't work out for you, I hope you remember well what I wrote here, and do things differently the next time.

[spartan55]

I don't know the difference between the first two... I just call it free ass. Here's the bottomlime: if he wanted a relationship with you then you wouldn't be his free ass. Once you are just sex he won't want to upgrade.
It seems girls have confidence in their golden pussy to change the guys mind... Ha no.

[melanieeeB]

If you're already asking like this... it's not a relationship!
You might doing date stuff but he literally answered with "it's fun hanging out" when you asked about what you guys are, you two not even communicating right what this is = casual!
He wanna have someone to fuck and then go to Australia.

[melanieeeB]

Or let me say it like that, my ex once told me, if a guy is not asking someone to be their girlfriend, he doesn't want to.
Sorry, this is so casual and you should learn to speak up

[LavLavLuv]

If it’s not something official then y’all just fuck buddies

[SiberFox]

Always establish the relationship before sex.