Why would someone flirt with you and another girl in front of you?

[Anonymous]

So, I had a huge crush on his guy like five years ago, but I never approached him because he is my brother's friend and I did not want to risk their friendship or hurt my brother. So I gave up on him. Then I moved to a different country and we never saw each other until two years ago when he sent me a friend request on Facebook. I thought he just wanted to be friends. He seemed like a nice guy so I did not think anything bad about him. He did not reach out to me until after a year of becoming friends on Facebook. One day, he just randomly texted me and was flirting with me. He confessed that he liked me but did not tell me because of his friendship with my brother. I freaked out! So anyways, cutting the story short, we flirted with each other for like four months. During that time, I kind of saw a lot of red flags about him, but I completely ignored them. He wasn't the kind of guy who posts a lot of stuff online, but ever since we started talking, he started posting so much more like one post a day. He also started posting stories. I thought he was trying to get my attention. He would also constantly like my stories too. When we were texting, he would make plans with me and would say all these nice things. It made me happy. Then one day he posted a screenshot of his conversation with a girl he follows and tagged her. Naturally, that made me curious so I went on and checked her profile. Her profile isn't private so I could see what she posts and who interacts with her posts. I found out he was flirting with her over her posts. He was commenting on her videos in a very flirty way. That broke me. I started questioning my worth. I stopped texting him after that. He would still like my stories and I couldn't understand why. Then I eventually stopped posting stories and rarely watched his. I think at that point, he understood that I am trying to avoid him. So he also eventually stopped watching my stories as well. Why would he do that? Please help!

[HollyK21]

No one can help you more than you can help yourself. You don’t have to keep him as a friend online, especially since your brother is such a big factor for you both, so I’m not sure how that would’ve worked in the end. Aside from that, his intentions never seemed genuine. Like he adds you as a friend, waits a year to reach out and when he does it’s immediate flirtation, no him trying to take you on a date or getting to know you on a platonic level since you never got to do that. Then he’s flirting with another woman, and that’s only to your knowledge, who knows how many other women he’s trying to finesse. So don’t think of him as a loss, block him and keep it moving. Nothing helps more than peace of mind.

[Asker]

Thank you for your insight. I did try to move on and forget him, but somehow I kept wondering if it is all just a misunderstanding. Maybe deep down in my heart, I still hope this to be the case. I don't know. I keep thinking why would someone do that at the cost of jeopardizing their own friendship? I have two brothers and I know how important friends are to guys. I don't usually fall easily into the trap of a guy's flirt, but since he is my brother's friend, I thought his intentions were really genuine. But I guess I got fooled. Oh well! But thank you for your advice, I will try to block him.

[HollyK21]

To be honest, there’s not much happening between you two in order for his friendship with your brother to be jeopardized. Aside from flirting, nothing’s taken off to the extent that your brother even needs to know, so I don’t believe there is much risk or gamble happening on his end. One thing I would suggest going forward is never to put any man of a pedestal that he hasn’t earned the right to be on. You let your guard way down simply because he’s your brothers friend, which wasn’t the best decision because he’s his own person and who knows what sort of man he genuinely is. Right now it’s not looking so great for him, and if I were you I wouldn’t “try” to remove him as a friend, I’d just do it. There’s so many more fish in the sea, cliche as it sounds.

[HollyK21]

*on a pedestal

[Kaneki05]

If a guy is single even if not a player he probably flirts with multiple women. The only reason you wouldn't is if you had a major crush. But there is a difference between liking someone enough to flirt and having that major crush.
Even guys who aren't single flirt granted with out intension of anything.

But this guy is probably a player or someone who got stuck between two good options. Though I don't think one would be so deceitful about it if it was more the innocent sense.

[Asker]

You are probably right. All the red flags point him toward the direction of a player, but my stupid mind still wants to believe otherwise. Thank you for your advice!

[Guy13]

Some of the stuff…Im thinking I’m in a twilight zone of Ignorant. Anybody that does this has to be ignorant or practicing to be both Single and Lonely 🤷🏻‍♂️.

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣 why would he what?