Me and my coworker have this strange bond, he was constantly calling me, touching me a lot, flirting with me... which leaded to a conversation of ours last week about trust issues.. etc.
The conversation was exhausting and long, and ended with my words "I'm going to sleep cause I'm not going to wake up easily tomorrow"
He said "I told you I should come to you and I was going to wake u up in the morning"
Me "is this a joke?" Cause he is always making statements like he is going to ask me out.
He "how do u take it as a joke or as the truth?"
Me "you are probably joking, cause otherwise you would have come"
He "did u invite me?"
Me "I would have, but I think you were joking... now if you are not, u can come"
... his last words were "its almost midnight, too late"... and "we will talk".
Things between us were very awkward the entire last week and he seemed so sure that I will somehow end up in his bed.
Anyway yesterday he made a comment in front of another coworker "would you come for a dinner with me?"... and I said "we will see"... he "hm... we will see, whats that"... me "okay, I will come... yes I will"... he made a long pause saying nothing and I continued "see... I told you "yes" and you went silent, do u think I am a joke?" And he later stated "you are crazy".
I don't understand his aim at all... it makes no sense to invite someone and then treat them this way. I feel dumb. I think he made me look like a fool.
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From your conversation I gather you want to have sex with him (you told him you would have invited him, if you knew), so his assumption is not wrong at all. Because you are attracted to him, probably you let hints leak indirectly and he simply read them correctly. Maybe you smiled a lot to his jokes and flirts, maybe you kept talking with him when he was going too far, etc. All this is like confirmations, for him, of course (why else would you respond positively to his flirts?).
And yeah, since you basically told him you are into him that night, why would you reply with "we will see" now? That doesn't make sense for him. He is being clear, asked you a direct question. You said basically a "no" ("we will see" is commonly a "no"), then you said "yes" in a moment that sounds like if you are just replying in the way he wants to not make him upset and to stop the silence, like, communicating you actually -don't- want to go for a dinner, but feel forced to. That reads like a "no", of course. And your follow up with "am I a joke" makes even more confusion, as if he was meant to take your "yes" as a genuine yes? He most likely felt like you are kidding him, at this point. That's so weird, now it's not clear what your intentions are (I don't know too).
To solve this, ask yourself: do you really want to go on a date with him, or have sex with him, or not at all? Understand it then reply consistently to him the next time he asks something, if he didn't give up already. Or if you are unsure, tell him you are unsure, and why. Just be genuine with what you want and in your communication, that's all it takes.
If you want him, apologize for giving strange mixed signals and for being messy at communication, and that it was just a misunderstanding based on words but that your intentions are genuine and you want to go on a dinner with him in fact, if he is up to it.
I'm a mess... that's true. But he ain't making it any better either way. He is sometimes telling jokes that are simply jokes and even told me before that "I don't want to have anything with you" ( in a response to my statement "the other ladies could not resist you except me", because he was telling me how irresistible he is. Maybe his response was made to fight back my hurtful words... which I regret telling now)... The conversation from last week was via a text message, so I'm not exactly sure about his reactions at all. Plus he asked me out in front of another coworker and I'm not comfortable enough to reply positively to this invitation in front of another colleague.
Anyway I really like that dude, but the thing is I'm not sure if he likes me back or is simply playing with me.
Oh wow, that was interesting. No offense, but you both suck at communicating. For you to say he is causing the problem literally made me laugh. Please examine your own behavior here and then reevaluate what you actually want with this guy.
It looks like he wants to make a move with your permission. But you want him to do it without your permission.