"Bad texter" - truth or a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a guy, who's very sweet during the dates and he seems like he's enjoying my company and he likes me. But I have the exact opposite impression over texts. He answers very shortly and dryly, sometimes he doesn't answer for hours or even days.

I decided to talk to him honestly about this and I told him that it bothers me and that it makes me confused. He told me that he's sorry, that he never had an intention to seem distant or dry, it's just that he's not used to texting a lot. And sometimes when he's busy, he sees a message and then forgets to answer, or something like that. But he said he's sorry.

I don't know whether or not to believe him. Maybe after all he's not that into me? Or there really are guys who might like a girl but still don't text her that often?

Updates

1 y

Update: I just found out he has a girlfriend :) so girls, please, when you get mixed signals and when you feel confused, trust your intuition, he's probably a jerk :)

[Oddi_211]

I think a bad texter would be someone who can‘t communicate very well over text and tell what they wanna tell in the way intended. Not texting and ,, forgetting“ isn‘t texting at all so how can you be bad at it. It is an excuse to not text in my opinion. Maybe he doesn‘t like texting and that‘s what he means. Or he doesn‘t like taking the time to respond to you. I cannot say whether he likes you or not. But being a bad texter does not include forgetting to text in my opinion. Like how? you don‘t use your phone and don‘t see the notification? Either say i dont like texting or i‘m not on the phone a lot if that‘s the case

[Asker]

I agree, plus I don't understand how can you forget to text someone that you say you like... That's why I have a bit difficulty in accepting this excuse :/

[Oddi_211]

You just need to talk and figure out what the deal is and whether you can find a compromise like talking on the phone rather than texting or something

[OlderAndWiser]

This may sound like a wildly improbably explanation to you, but not everyone is married to their phone. Not everyone gets quasi-orgasmic bliss from texting and carrying on in the digital world and some even consider it to be unpleasant. Would you rather have a guy who texts you non-stop but isn't all that great when you are actually together?

[Sorrento-Sun]

He could be telling the truth. But if he is really into you, I would assume he'd try to make more of an effort now he knows how it affects you. Someone who is genuinely into you will fear losing you, so they'd make more of an effort once they know how their actions or behavior is affecting you

[melanieeeB]

I'm also a bad texter but I must say I can give my best in relationships... I guess you two are still fresh and that's why I'm saying get to know him better and give it some time.
Also now that you told him that it's bothering you, I expect him to step up a little and try to text more

[FilmGuy93]

Could be both, but I would hear that more as the truth than a red flag.

Some people just don't like communicating over text. I know that I definitely prefer face-to-face interactions.

[kevypatyy7]

That's truth, I feel more expresssed in personal and I don't it's a red flag 🚩

[DS_Madking]

i think he's saying the truth to a certian degree i am myself the kinda person who doesent like to interact electronically like i will stare at my phone and wait until it stops ringing because i hate talking at the phone i do the same shit with text but if he really is interestet there could be a 2nd opportunity also from my own expierence he simply doesent know how to respond its pretty common for guys to look at texts and only thinking "how tf should i respond to that" before giving up

[AsaKyo]

Honestly, I couldn't be upset with someone for being a bad texter since I am one too (randomly leaves, takes awhile to respond back, etc) lmao. It's not really because I hate talking to the person, it's just more like I don't know what to really say and I'm super awkward, and if I have to keep leaving and coming back on to apologize, it gets on my nerves and stuff, so maybe he's the same way?

[tonamimargaux]

Honestly if you are into someone why wouldn’t you wanna text back?

[Asker]

Exactly... :/ or how can you forget to text back someone you're into 🙄

[tonamimargaux]

Red flags. Early signs of them at least. I’m in a similar situation so don’t confuse yourself get out of it asap. We need to keep our sanity intact

[Asker]

Yes, you're right, I think that's what I'll do. Thanks for sharing your opinion! ❤

[mrinalashesh007]

Ask this to yourself -

Do I need to text him throughout my life or want to spend my life with him?

I guess you'll find the answer yourself !

[AviatorTom]

Some people don't like to text. It has nothing to do with their overall feelings for someone. If you two otherwise get along, his wek texting us not a problem. Find other ways to communicate.

[Summeroflove]

I think you should bring this up with him. Some are better with texting then others. That might be all it is

[BeyondBirthday]

We usually make excuses when we don't actually care. Guys who love you will try to make you happy if you express your problems. If he doesn't change dump him.

[Jamie05rhs]

He's full of shit. Either that or he's just really unorganized. Or has really bad manners. ... But all are bad options.

[Vegasrunner]

This is like the 100th message like this I've seen on GAG, hopefully guys read this and understand why it's so important to minimize communication over text. The phone should be used to set dates only, not to chit chat all day.

[chilldude33]

Not sure if we read the same thread, but my takeaway is that girls appreciate if you take 5 seconds to text back and maybe have a fun convo going.

[Vegasrunner]

@chilldude33 I can't speak to what you intepret, however what I read, she wants to receive more attention which is what women ate seeking. Men who waste their time giving out free attention are typically ones that haven't accomplished much. You're making the mistake a lot of young men make of believing that your time is not valuable, whether she "appreciates" it is irrelevant to a hv man because we know that they will break rules for us. You should only be texting or calling women to make definite date plans not wasting your time giving her free attention. As you can see from this thread his being distant has forced her to pursue him, which is the only way relationships work. Remember men control access to relationships not the other way around.

[HighValue]

People that prefer or value texting over in person interaction are immature and lack social skills which is most people these days.

[Anonymous]

Texting by itself is a red flag. Doesn't he have a voice?

[Anonymous]

Not a red flag. Some people are just bad at texting and don't like it.

[Engin12]

Why would it be a red flag? No one is perfect at communicating so you shouldn't take any offense over texting.

[Part2603]

Naw, you're just needy.

[Anonymous]

Its not a red flag in any way.

[chilldude33]

Why would he text you if he can hang out with you

[Asker]

That's the problem actually. I went back to my hometown for holidays and we won't see each other for 3 weeks and still he doesn't bother to text me that much. While I think that it's important to communicate during this time as well :/

[chilldude33]

Oh that's different then. As for me, I have a "bad habit" of insta replying (like now), so I can't put myself in his shoes.