What to do when he texts you this out the blue?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now (casually) and everything has been fine but lately the guy keeps sending me mixed signals! he told me he’s busy, having some problems and can’t think properly as he’s overwhelmed with what’s happening in his life. I said to take time for him right now and if he needed anything I’m here, he seemed pretty happy with that. Fast forward two days later he sent a text saying he wasn’t feeling well and had been in hospital, so we texted a bit and I wished him a speedy recovery and to get some rest. I asked how he was the next day and he replied and asked if I was ok too, I said I’m ok and wished him well again to which he didn’t reply until the next day saying thanks I’ll be alright soon don’t worry x …. so I didn’t say anything back and continued to give him space (like we agreed) but the next day he sent a text saying I see you’re disappearing and hope you’re fine…any ideas what’s going on?

[Guy13]

Needy with or without you. He’s hooked but emotionally he’s a train wreck. You can’t save him. He’s got to work it out. I would let him unwind and not try to fix it or sooth it.
It is a great opportunity to see how he reacts when things aren’t how he thinks it shoukd at that moment…. Does this make sense?

[Asker]

Thanks yeah that makes sense I’m leaving him to it but don’t get why he’s saying he sees I’m disappearing

[LoneleeGirll]

Probably he doesn't like disappointing anyone and he may feel he is letting you down by busy and being some what distant that it's preventing him from being able to hang out with you

[Akam93]

@Guy13 you always make perfect sense.

[Guy13]

He is trying to control you by keeping you unbalanced emotionally. As long as he knows you are guessing/struggling then he has what he wants. No emotion. Play it cool and you are good.

[Asker]

@LoneleeGirll that’s really helpful many thanks 😊

[Asker]

That’s great advice many thanks

[Guy13]

Your welcomed. Keep that one in the rearview mirror and look 🔜 New Year, new life, and better guy 🎉🎉

[Asker]

@Guy13 you’re absolutely right I shall keep that in mind and focus on looking forward. Wishing you all the best 😊

[Guy13]

👍👍

[SnowedIn]

He sounds confused as well as overwhelmed. The best thing you can do is give him space but also consistency. Text him/respond to him at the same time of day. He'll come to find out you're reliable and there for him. When he seems to be past the medical and other issues, you can pick up the pace of the communications but in the meantime consistency.

[LoneleeGirll]

Sounds similar to things my ex/ baby daddy was saying to me just recently. Sounds like there could be some mental health issues going on with him. You giving him space is the best thing you can do. I'm sure with time he may open up and telling you exactly what is going on

[Asker]

Thank you!

[KathrynTaylor]

He’s just unwell and wants you to text him more often.

[Anonymous]

You need to give him some space. He obviously has too much going on right now.