90% of men think that the friendly behavior of women is "flirting"! Is this true?

Question

Do you agree with the statement above?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

For the most part yes , mainly because guys strive off of Ego’s when a girl compliments him and is nice to him and jokes around with him he will more than likely assumes she wants him for the most part , and he can easily take it the wrong way , why it’s best for girls that are in relationships to make it clear to other guys that they love their husband or boyfriend , Not in a mean way but in a way to let the other guy know she is off limits so the other guy doesn’t keep trying to pursue her thinking he has a chance and not cause any conflict in her current relationship out of respect for her partner , Girl’s do not realize the damage they can do to her partner by thinking she is just being nice and friendly , The same thing happens to guys in relationships talking to other girls just being friendly , even though he is just being friendly she can take it that he is flirting with her , especially if he has an outgoing personality , me personally isn’t shy and I like talking and mingling with people if I am out in public and socializing , Sometimes girls will think I am hitting on them when really I am just making conversation and take it the complete wrong way or her boyfriend will think I am trying to hot on her and get in her pants when that isn’t the case at all , so out of respect for Your partner and same goes for your partner as well try to stay clear of opposite sex people when you are in a relationship out of respect for each other , you can have small talk with the opposite sex but you are best not to have long deep conversations with the opposite sex and be too friendly cuz they can easily take it the wrong way

Lliam · Accepted Answer

90% of the time? I doubt it. Some girls are just friendly people. And some were taught to smile and be pleasant at all times.

Unfriendly behavior is certainly discouraging. Therefore, friendly behavior leaves the door open.

I've known and worked with a lot of women. Most of them were friendly, whether married, in a relationship, or single. And some of them were very desirable.

But there is a subtle difference between mere friendliness and flirting. Women's signals are subtle. They rely almost 100% on body language - tone of voice, eye movements, smiles and giggles, close proximity, body movement and poses, finding reasons to talk to you. They might even make dirty jokes or puns. If she does all of that shit, she wants you.

If a guy perceives any of those things, he thinks he has a chance. He can start taking more initiative in flirting and establishing rapport. He can ask her out and see what happens.

She might not have been intentionally sending signals at all. Maybe she's just a cute, sexy, friendly girl. But a perceptive guy will have read the signals accurately.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

It’s only true if they’re attracted to the woman being friendly. The other 10% is when they actually see it as friendliness from a woman they would never be interested in. Cishet men in particular have this whole thing where they see all women in this light of “potentially the ONE” as they go about their lives but when it comes to unattractive women, they’ll either completely ignore her existence as much as possible, or just walk away as soon as the opportunity presents itself. I say this as that particular person when going out with a group of friends to meet new boyfriends and seeing how those guys would purposefully do everything possible to avoid eye-contact with me, or do as little as possible when I would ask them questions to get to know them. I usually end up being a good test for those men so my friends can know if they’re actually good guys or just playing the role to get to her.

SphynxUK · Accepted Answer

Maybe even more.
The amount of times a simple friendly smile or nondescript conversation has resulted in someone coming on to me or asking me out is mind blowing.
Had I of asked for their number, asked if they were single, been blatantly touchy feely, batting my eyelashes and preening profusely in front of them, then at least they might have had a reason to make those assumptions!

FilmGuy93 · Answer

That's pretty true, yeah. Maybe not quite 90%, but the vast majority of men will think that.

Women don't seem to appreciate how unpleasant so many women are to interact with. You people are definitely not sugar, spice and everything nice.

MrOracle · Answer

That's something of an exaggeration, but it's definitely true that when a man isn't sure if it's just her being friendly or if it's flirting, most men are going to be more optimistic than is warranted. There are still clear times when she is definitely flirting or when she is definitely just being friendly, but that area in the middle is harder for a lot of men to be fully objective.

It doesn't help that women are rarely direct, and prefer to "drop hints" and rely on subtext - languages men don't speak and struggle to understand. Men certainly share some responsibility for not fully understanding, but women also need to understand their part.

The worst thing is that modern society only serves to increase these misunderstandings, actively discouraging relationships between men and women (but putting tons of energy, effort, and money into LGBT education and causes). There is nothing new about these communication problems between men and women, but these lessons were once taught, and expectations set on both sides. That was largely abolished in the late 60s, though it took a couple of generations for the residual efforts to be stomped out. And we are all worse off for it.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

Yes. Most men will consider a woman who gives them their time, and are nice to them, as flirting (possibly being interested in them). The reason for this is not that they're delusional, but men are so often ignored, ostracized, and verbally abused, that someone talking to them, being nice, and actually showing interest is rare. In our minds the only reason a girl would do this is if she likes us, which will increase our own interest in them.

A girl can likely discern flirting from "being nice" from a guy because they're usually treated nicely by EVERY guy out there. Any guy they engage in conversation with will at least by friendly.

There is a book written by a woman who presented herself as a guy for a year that details this- she killed herself as a result of her experience. As a man you are intrinsically treated like a threat (largely by women) no matter where you go. Most women will be cautious around you, bordering on fearful. Nearly every women you talk to will be short with you, likely overtly mean ("how dare you try hitting on me"). Forming friendships in adulthood is harder, both with women AND other men. Most adult men who don't have a friend group from earlier in life are lonely to the extent that women cannot even comprehend. Our phones will literally have no notifications for weeks aside from our own mothers.

So, let's return to your statement, and you can see why men would consider a girl being nice to them as flirting because it's so uncommon.

ThinkFitness23 · Answer

It depends, what classes as flirting is a great question also.

Woman can be friendly, polite & caring but not flirting.

I think the key ingredient is attraction, genuine attraction can not be hidden it’s felt.

A person has a thousand smiles, many laughs and a look and stare are not always the same.

If you think someone is hot you may appreciate the looks but not actually fancy them, for me the difference is what you feel.

When you fancy someone and it’s reciprocated this is quite evident, the 2 people often up the ante over long or short periods to elevate the feeling and further confirm.

Common signs:

Her laugh
Her smile
Her eyes (and the way she looks at you)
The short bit powerful glance or glances
Her wanting to maximise your time together
Her seeking opportunities for you to be alone

I’m very good at spotting this but one occasion I’ll never forget was when I hugged a colleague and the end of an event and I felt her heart pounding.

I then knew and the vibe between us was odd for a while. I had a partner and knew she did also and I knew she wasn’t the type of woman to cheat, she’s too classy for that.

I think if your friendly with a man your vibe should be clear either way, most of the time I do think a woman is flirting with me to answer your question and these days it’s pretty clear, I catch women looking at my bum, touching my shoulders or arms (especially if drinking), playing with their hair and most commonly the way they stand or posture, I know you don’t pose like that for no reason.

RavVid · Answer

I think it is true 90% of men have difficulty in recognizing female interest in them. You don't overtly stare at our crotch the way way we stare at your crotch and tits. Flirting is intrinsically deniable and by corollary confusing.

Plus every woman seems to have her own individual standard.

As a for instance a girl reached out and stroked my finger recently after I made a complimentary remark on her phone art photography. It was a sex electric, erection generating, light touch that made my thought turn to how good her light touch would feel elsewhere (yes exactly where are thinking of). Is that a skill she had cultivated or was she unaware of how sexual it was?

Now she was much younger than I, so I am thinking was that very deliberate or being friendly or professionally being a charming waitress. Maybe she likes men to be older? Unfortunately she was sacked the next day at the cafe so I didn't get to explore.

On the other a woman saying hello and smiling is a concrete act we can hang a hat on.

I used to have gal pal wing man who would help interpret for me. I miss her.

johnathon00 · Answer

It's difficult to say whether this statement is true without more context. The percentage of men who think that friendly behavior from women is "flirting" may vary depending on a number of factors, such as cultural background and individual experiences. Additionally, the definition of "flirting" can be somewhat subjective, so what one person might interpret as flirting, another might interpret as simply being friendly.

In general, the term "flirting" is used to describe behavior that is intended to indicate interest in a romantic or sexual relationship. This can include things like making eye contact, smiling, laughing, and paying compliments. However, it's important to remember that not all friendly behavior is flirting, and that it's possible for people to be friendly without any romantic or sexual intent.

It is also worth noting that some research has found that men are more likely to misinterpret friendly behavior from women as flirting than women are, this is because in some societies, the women tend to be more polite and friendly in nature, leading to the possibility of misinterpretation. But these are based on studies and not necessarily the case for everyone.

So, it would be unwise to generalize that all men think friendly behavior of women is flirting but also not entirely false that some men might think that way based on their past experiences or cultural influences.

Datboi65 · Answer

How did you come up with such a bogus number? 90%?

You can tell the difference between friendly behavior and flirting. I live in a privately owned dorm and everyone is friendly. Sometimes when I'm carrying heavy stuff and my key card is on my pocket, a random girl will open the front gate with her key card with a smile. Is she flirting? Of course not, she's just being nice.

Flirting is when a woman keeps twirling her hair and being touchy-feely/looking for random excuses to text you or spend time around you. That's flirting.

Do not assume that guys are dumb and lack social cues, because I see a lot of questions from girls on random online forums like "does he like me"? and "will he text me back"? that basically shows that even women cannot distinguish between friendly behavior and flirting.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Men that are flooded with determination will not catch a subtle hint and just fuck off. You could fart in their direction or even vomit and they'll be thinking you obviously like them... are in love with them and you just don't realize it yet.

Most of the psycho situations I've seen usually has a chick that's just trying to be nice and not hurt any feelings. Don't get me wrong, I've been on the shit end of the stick when a girl has done it to me... it's fucking psycho as all fuck. It's like "no" isn't the right answer at all.

-Mad- · Answer

I agree and thankfully I’m not one of them.

You can’t imagine how many friends of mine think that a girl is flirting with me when she’s just being normally nice.

Thats why people we should always avoid unprofessional situations with the opposite sex, Also a lot of girls think a guys are flirting with me when they are not so thats why I stand with my statement that girls and guys can never be true friends with sexual tension always being around.

If you put to opposite magnets 🧲 side to side they will always stick (fuck)

90% of men think that the friendly behavior of women is "flirting"! Is this true?

joeldalton · Answer

It's in our best interest to think you are flirting.

If you are flirting and we don't think you're flirting, then we risk losing out on a relationship with you
If you are flirting and we think you're flirting, then we have a chance of a relationship.
If you are not flirting and we don't think you're flirting, we don't have a chance at a romantic relationship with you.
If you are not flirting and we think you're flirting, we don't have a chance at a relationship with you

All but one results in no relationship. So there's no benefit to not thinking you're flirting.

Heolurt · Answer

I don't flirt, I don't know how to or what it is but I know touching is generally seen as flirting or at least it gives guys the sort of feeling that the girl likes him.

I've always heard that if a female touches your arm, shoulder or lower back it means she's attracted to you but I have been touched by females in such places and I found out all it means is "she needs something", "she's just being friendly" or "she didn't realize she was doing it and she stops"

So if females want guys to not see things as flirting, they should stop doing the things that give off that impression.

Anonymous · Answer

The question is why do women want to be friendly with men? I keep hearing and reading women and girls bash guys and men today. It’s gotten so pathetic now that young women are telling guys and men if you want to talk to me pay for my OnlyFans and pay me for every message sent. I hope those types of females get screwed in the future and I don’t mean in a good way. Women and girls say males don’t offer anything…Ok then why talk to us, if you want to be independent and think men and guys don’t do anything then keep those same vibes and don’t chat with guys or men, strictly chat with women. Problem solved.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at questions like this. I've seen so many of them, but I've seen just as many from women who are frustrated that men are "dense" and don't pick up on their hints and cues.

And here is the core problem: the ubiquitous stereotype of women expecting men to read their minds is actually true. They drop subtle hints and expect men to understand their intentions. Most women are incapable of being straightforward, and as a result men are left to guess what it is a woman wants. And if we guess wrong, we are either "dense", or "making assumptions". It is essentially a no-win situation for us because we're damned if we do and damned if we don't.

For most guys, the safest thing to do if err on the side of caution and assume she is just being friendly, knowing damned well there is a good chance the woman is sitting there thinking "you idiot, I am flirting with you and you're too dumb to even realize it".

Purpleronnie · Answer

Friendly behavior being construed as flirting , well that’s a stretch in my mind but then again fitting needs to be fairly blatant for me to pick up or act upon it. My normal mode is friendly so when women are friendly back it’s just norm I think. 90% seems too high , I believe some guys would want to perceive this behavior but they would be fooling themselves

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I doubt the percentage is anywhere near that high, but some men definitely struggle with that. To be fair, women do too. What other explanation is there for the great many questions here asking “Why hasn’t he asked me out yet?”, or “Why don’t men make the first move anymore?”? Get over yourself. He or she is probably just friendly and NOT that into you. Ell oh ell!

Splithead · Answer

90% of men that you are friendly towards.

Most men dont want to waste a shot.

So it makes sense to see each green light as flirting so as to maximize and never miss the actual flirting.

In truth though the funny thing is that if you think she's flirting and you play cool, and she really was flirting, she'll flirt harder.

So you are seeig that 90% of men you tslk to wouldn't want to risk the chance that you were flirting and they didn't pick up on it.

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

Pretty much. Then left onto any positive attention. We don’t think that women will notice us. We don’t think they’ll like us if they do. So, if we get any positive reinforcement it’s amazing.  It may seem to you that you just smiled and said something kite. For us, the music swelled, the camera zoomed in, your hair tossed in slow motion…

Summeroflove · Answer

Not all men are the same. Sure men jump to the wrong conclusion. There is also men who can’t tell when a woman’s flirting.

This depends totally on the woman. Usually I just take it as she’s being firefly especially if she’s got a ring on.

Lionman95 · Answer

I would say maybe in terms of guys in general. Personally for me it´s quite the opposite I kind of never expect that a woman is actually flirting with me and I presume she´s just friendly since most of female colleagues are taken or married.

I have actually more of a problem to figur out a flirt attempt of a woman.

Stoner710 · Answer

not really, unfortunately a lot of men are obviously to women flirting. so when women are being flirtatious so when women are being flirtatious we think there just being nice and women are being nice a lot of men take it to mean there interested. if a miscommunication or a misread of the situation and women's intentions.

Catarine · Answer

From my experience it is usually like that. I am a very nice person. If I'm nice with men they take it as flirty. Even when I tell them I'm not interested they don't get it. Some guys I know told me that when women laugh (I sometimes do that because I'm uncomfortable and it can be a coping mechanism) some men take that as though I don't mean it. But not all men and women are the same

HighValue · Answer

Most men can't tell the difference because many women do the exact same behavior while one woman is just being friendly and the other is trying to flirt with the EXACT SAME behavior. Plus most women aren't brave enough to just straight up tell someone that they are iterested and rely on flirting while doing the same behavior that another woman means as only friendly and they expect men to read their minds and know which woman means what from the same actions.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The difference between friendliness and flirting is a matter of degree, and some assumption about your intentions. Especially if a guy is hoping for you to flirt with him, it is easy to see how a mistake could be made.

sage2021 · Answer

There are girls that are just bubbly and friendly all the time with everyone. So I would have to say NO, she's not always flirting with you. It's just that she's gregarious, life of the party type of girl.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Yes, most men think just because I say "Hi" that is flirting... can't even talk to a man without him thinking that.

Can't just be friendly without that happening, but I'm not about to give up talking to people.

boobliker · Answer

mostly yes? there's helpful and there h e l p f u l l with inyouendos yes?
my young very sexy neighbour is always flirting with me and my SO does not like her because of that
she also says I flirt with all women I don't think I do
so who is to tell what flirting is or not

HuskyJ · Answer

I can only second James Diaz 11 - as someone who has delivered tons of the luxuries and safety females in the induatrialised white world take for granted - I insist you simply deliver the sexual interest for me to me and stop being self-righteous bitches.

Otherwise you might get to fall from that grace you assume I will. provide to you for free. I no longer will - not until you, white blue eyed girls, give me all the love and sexual interest and favours I require, need and want.

Anonymous · Answer

If she sits on my desk, makes me coffee everyday, makes invitations to lunch or hanging out outside of work, gives me her number, and (albeit months later after actually going to lunch and spending time with her) she gives me the keys to her apartment and car, I think... thats flirting. Right?

Then again, when i told her to stop because I am married with kids, I was reported to HR for misjudging her.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Most men do. This is probably because, in general, men receive little to no positive attention from society at large, let alone the opposite sex. One woman acting differently than every other woman he's met leads a man to think she is interested in him. That line of thinking is neither rocket science nor unreasonable.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Friendly isn't flirting.

Flirting is flirting.

Some women also confuse friendly and flirting as well. Both they flirt but think it's just friendly because they are so sexual. And they also make the mistake that a guy offering to help them with something or saying hi is flirting when it's just friendly. Not all men are trying to fuck them. Smh. Some girls think that though.

TheVigilantFox · Answer

Not for me no, if someone is being friendly I don’t instantly think they want to jump me I just think they’re a nice person, they make me feel at ease so I can communicate better with them than someone who’s hostile.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Yes I think this is basically true. The reason? Because women are rarely ever nice so the slightest hint of being nice is seen as interest… says as much about women as these men…

IveGotNoName · Answer

90% might be a little high, but recently my friend moved into a new dorm, and she's learned that 5 of the guys there think she's flirting with them, which is weird since she talks to them like she talks to me.

Cassie88 · Answer

I would say that approximately 96.372% think that friendly behaviour is flirting. The remaining percentage don't have a clue, because they have autism (or they don't care because they're gay).

Jesterteddy66 · Answer

I believe you can have a conversation without flirting but I for one most of time I ignore everyone why you may ask I seen too much as security and I got to point of just don’t care anymore but doesn’t mean I won’t have a communication with someone who is willing to do so I don’t act mean to anyone I just keep to myself.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Sadly it goes both ways... i can hardly tell friendly apart from flirting when it comes to certain key words

Smoothing · Answer

Where did you get that percentage from? And is it based on statistical data? If so, how was it carried out? What were the parameters? What uncertainties were taken into consideration?

RolandCuthbert · Answer

Only incels and jerks. Most "Men" know that lots of women are just being friendly and kind.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

That's not exactly true. Some women are overly friendly and don't know where to draw the line like touching a man's chest or arms frequently.
A lot of people can pick up on friendly behavior, but not everyone can read people well at all.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say yes, most women are always hostile to men, especially to the once they don't find attractive. A lot of times even it's hard to convey a normal conversation with many women so if a girl is being really friendly men believe that she is interested in him.

SnowedIn · Answer

I'm sure a lot do but that 90% number looks way too high.

MrKinktastic · Answer

I’m not sure about 90% but it’s certainly common for men to conflate politeness with flirtatiousness. Waitresses have this issue all the time.

Ill_made_Knight · Answer

Southern guys with any sense should know better than this simply due to the common behavior of waitstaff down here... hun.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

No, I think most men would know the difference. I don't think relations between men and women are that bad lol

Neilbud · Answer

Sadly mostly true. In this boss woman erra, younger men only experience nice girls when they want something from them. So when you meet a truly nice girl, it can get confusing. You figure it out as you get older tho.

ProVox · Answer

The majority of the time, for sure. So, what's your guess on the percentage of women who do that of friendly men?

ArtemisSilver · Answer

No this isn't true. If I think you're flirting I'll just flirt back and guage your response. Honestly friendly behavior should just be the standard of how people behave.

pupluv45 · Answer

no. they only consider it "flirting" when a very attractive woman is being friendly to them. otherwise, if it was a plain jane or unattractive girl, they wouldn't see it the same way

ZoeyMercer · Answer

It’s because men are only friendly to women they find attractive and ignore the others whereas women are typically nice to everyone unless there’s a reason not to

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Where's the polling to back the question? Or do you mean a lot of guys ( undetermined percentage)  Regardless I think some do but definitely not 90%.

Vinnygraphix · Answer

Me either way I would not be able to tell the difference. One Iv’e been single since age 19 now im 36. I really do not know how to detect friendly with flirting so i just tend to say thanks for the compliment and i just ignore their existence

Guardian45 · Answer

MANY men think that the friendly behavior of women is "flirting"! I don't think it is 90% though. What is also a problem is that some women are not explicit enough to make their message clear.

Pohjolan · Answer

Thing is that there is a considerable overlap between one woman's flirting and another woman's friendliness. Like for a example one woman leaning on a guy is just tired and another is flirting.

virtue2332 · Answer

Is this some sort of new creative out of the box way of you flirting with me? You have my attention.

IJhonnyI · Answer

Bro some females way of "being friendly" is flirting 😒 SOME not all

lightbulb27 · Answer

when desperate yes. when they don't care, no.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, it seems like most guys don't even realize when they are being flirted with. I think most guys just don't have the social intelligence most women do to be honest.

katiesmuff · Answer

Likely it is nothing more than a very outgoing person and not flirting at all.

katestar · Answer

oh. friends flirt. but lovers flirt? well. it depends. some are friends. some are lovers. friends became lovers. like they are a couple. who like to flirt.

AdithyaR · Answer

I don't know about that but it isn't true for me. I automatically assume and convince myself they're just being friendly no matter what.

90% of men think that the friendly behavior of women is "flirting"! Is this true?

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