Guy interested, said " Id be happy to connect again at some point"?

[Anonymous]

Met thisbguy through a mutual friend group. We had hung out a few times and 2 of those were alone. We recently went to dinner and I hadn't heard from him in 10 days. I texted and he mentioned that he rarely initates first and that another friend thtmat is a girl too asked if he forgot about her. At dinner there was clearly chemistry I've chosen to be friends to get to know him and take it slow. He mentioned I'm his text, He'd be happy to catch up again at some point as friends and that he's been busy with work and finding a house, but he's trying to save money at the moment. Then after a few texts he said " I'll hit you up next week and will do dinner" I'm beyond confused!

Is he casually telling me he's not interested? He did mention he rarely reaches out first and I'm not the only one who mentioned that to him and asked why.

[Anonymous]

I feel like you went about this the wrong way. Like I understand wanting to take things slow, which is totally fine and respectable but that is what the dating stage is for. It’s important to draw a clear line between being a friend and being a romantic interest IF you know you’d like to explore that with him. Because now you’re moving under the guise of friendship, and as a result he’s treating you just like every other female friend in his life. For instance, saying he’ll hit you up next week to do dinner can be very casual if he sees you as a friend. It’s not unusual for busy men to seek female company but have no intention of investing in her. Some men (as you probably know) even pay to have a woman’s company. Not saying this is the case for you obvi, I’m just shining a light on how he could very easily be navigating things differently than you’d hope. So if you want a clear answer and to get on the same page, then ask what he’s looking for right now and what his intentions for talking to you are. If you are afraid or hesitant to ask then that’s fine but it will only keep you in this confused space.

[Asker]

Wow, I feel as though you hit the nail on the head! He even joked at dinner when we sat down saying something to thr effect of " so this is not a date right"
I did tell him in text recently that I Do like him and I've kept all men in the friend zone to protect myself. I was hoping he knew that was my way of saying "I like you more as a friend!" I hate rejection and part of me just wants to walk away, if a guy really wanted me he would pursue, period.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s probably because I’ve been in a similar situation so I get it lol and sometimes you’ve got to recognize a lost cause when it’s staring you in the face. Although I would encourage you to just have a conversation rather than hope he catches on to your hints and whatnot, I do however feel like he’s being purposely oblivious. Who knows, maybe he isn’t looking to prioritize a woman right now with how busy he is, or just wants to leave his options open in general. But in any case it’s better if you knew with certainty where his head was at so if he isn’t interested, you can stop investing time into him and look elsewhere.

[Asker]

Thanks. It might be a loss cause and at this point I'm giving it up to destiny or fate. I texted him that maybe I'll see him again at an event and no hard feelings, take care.. I'm not in a space to be vulnerable and try in any sort of way for him to see me in any sort of way. I just wanna let it go, let him go. With him saying I'll hit you up next week, it just feels like I had to somehow "convince" him to see me again. I'm not down. For that. If he genuinely wants to connect again I should not have to initate first. Period. Walking away. I'll be cordial and nice if we see another again.

[Wise4myage]

Just be friends for now and see how things go.