How to make him respect me and stop emotionally abusing me?

[Anonymous]

I am 21, he is 35. We met at the gym. He was super good looking, tall, muscular, dark hair and pale skin. I was sexually exploited since I was 14 to around 17 with no one to turn to, us my mother didn't care and my father was gone. I mentioned this because since I told him my life story he started abusing me. So, after like 2 months of dating. I was stupid in telling him, I should have kept it for myself. I don't have friends, family, I needed to share with someone and I told him. He is father of 2 small children (he is divorced) and I thought he is mature enough to help me. But since I told him he calls me names, make me believe it was my fault that the sexual abuse happened. He likes me, he bought me nice stuff for my birthday, from Victoria's secret underwear. I never ever got a present before. So he is not that bad. But still, he likes mocking me from time to time for being a h#oe. I was randomly scrolling on Pinterest and a wedding dress appeared. And he said: you really think someone would marry you? You are not wife material. I started crying, I covered my ears and he laughed at me. I wanted to leave, he apologised but still amused and we had sex. I know you will tell me to leave, but I am so lonely. He is the only one I got right now. I want to know how to change his opinion about me?

[FilmGuy93]

You can't... this kind of thing is exactly why people tell girls in their twenties to not date guys in their thirties.

Your relationship is unhealthy because you built it on an unhealthy base.

[spartan55]

You can't, and deep down you know you can't. Due your age difference he has never looked at you as someone of value in the relationship. And guess what? He blatantly disrespects and that WILL NOT CHANGE.

[Asker]

than why he gives me attention and wastes time with me?

[spartan55]

Why not? You allow it.

[Asker]

i thought he likes me...

[spartan55]

He likes you enough to keep you around and fuck you.

[Asker]

why are you telling me this? i already feel bad enough

[spartan55]

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just trying to get you to see this won't change. I used to be just like that guy. It's no good.

[Asker]

i really want to d1e sometimes... It feels no one can love me

[the_bruh]

Sounds like he doesn't understand how you actually feel about him and his actions. Try talking some sense into him. Maybe he'll understand. Chances are low. But I'd say it's better not being exploited again, just because you're feeling lonely.

[SnowedIn]

You can't make him respect you. He won't. You need to end the relationship or the emotional abuse may turn to physical abuse but in the meantime will destroy you.

[Paul09]

There's no way this is a true story. If it was, wtf are you still doing with him? Now we know why he was divorced.. He is mentally ill, it's called a-hole.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

He's not going to. End it.

[eksekskes]

I didn't read after 'we met in gym'

[riverrat3]

Learn to love yourself

[In_Trance]

Establish boundaries