Why do I choose men who dont choose me, advice on guy?

[Anonymous]

I've noticed I have this pattern of choosing friends and potential lovers. Recently I stopped contact with a guy I met in December. I was the only 1 initiating texts to say hello and I asked him to hang 1 on 1 two times. He would text back immediately and was open to hangout. I asked why he never texts first, he said sorry and another girl asked him the same thing. He's busy and he tends to do that but is down to hangout. The next day I told him I'd stop reaching out, because I choose those who choose me. He replied "sounds good"

Then I a few days later I took it back and said my mind was all over the place and he could reach out. He seemed upset, and said I was "inconsistent" to hangout and then not, he doesn't know what I want from him, and it's best we just leave it as it is. 🤷‍♀️

[ShiftingMonke]

You expressed concern over his behaviors, he apologized and explained why, and then you chose to exit his life; he was fine with it. I don't see how he did anything wrong. But then you went back? That just makes you look manipultive; you first say "I only want men that want me" and step out. Going back and saying "my mind was messed up" is pretty much the textbook definition of inconsistent, because you either know what you want or you don't. I think he's completely in the right and you should probably not bother this guy anymore, as he doesn't seem very interested in you anymore.

[WaterIsland]

I think you were fair to cut things off originally if he wasn’t being receptive and meeting you half way. You weren’t unreasonable at all.


I wouldn’t have gone back to him tho. That probably sent him mixed signals, and it shows you don’t really know what you want. He doesn’t seem like the right guy for you based on what you said, so although I understand you had feelings for him, from a pure logical standpoint, he isn’t the one for you.