Why do guys see crying as weak?

Question

It’s a great way to release pent up stress. Having a good cry makes you feel so much better afterwards. Why are guys stigmatised for it though? Venting emotions out is healthy.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

This has actually been studied quite a bit over the last 5 years or so, and several studies proved pretty conclusively that, outside of exceptional circumstances (death of a parent or child or something similar), women who see their man cry, no matter how much they express that men should be able to cry, etc., will lose respect and sexual attraction towards their man. Even women who insisted that they were fine with seeing their man cry would lose respect and attraction, and as a result the amount of conflict in the relationship goes WAY up over the next 6-8 weeks, often ending the relationship.

The reality is that men are taught stoicism for a REASON: it's always been important as a warrior and a leader, and women have always desired strong, stoic men. They need to know that the man who is leading them is going to be able to handle the challenges that come along without breaking down emotionally, which would make the whole family vulnerable. Those emotions are innate and DEEPLY seated.

For example, I have helped a lot of people change tires or other minor car repairs on the side of the road, or in a parking lot, or whatever. I actually have a cordless impact gun to make it quick and easy to deal with the lug nuts - I can change a tire in just a couple of minutes. There have been quite a few times when I've pulled over to help a woman - or a car with several women or a woman with kids - who were in panic or near-panic mode, and when I showed up, calm and cool, and offered to change their tire - and then had it done in a few minutes - I've seen the look of attraction in some of their faces. The fact that I was stoic when they were scared and panicked made me attractive to them - and I'm not a handsome guy. But being stoic and confident in an "emergency" (at least from their point of view) made me attractive to them.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The idea that crying is weak is a societal construct that is not based in reality. Men, like women, are human beings with emotions, and crying is a natural and healthy way to express and release those emotions.

One possible reason why some men may view crying as weak is because of traditional gender stereotypes and expectations. Men are often socialized to be strong, stoic, and emotionally reserved, while women are often encouraged to be nurturing, emotional, and expressive. These stereotypes can be reinforced by media, cultural norms, and personal experiences, and can be difficult to challenge or overcome.

However, it's important to remember that these stereotypes are not reflective of the diversity and complexity of human experiences and emotions. Men, like women, may experience a wide range of emotions throughout their lives, and may benefit from expressing those emotions in healthy and productive ways, including crying.

It's important to challenge harmful stereotypes and to promote healthy and respectful communication and expression of emotions for everyone, regardless of gender identity. By prioritizing open and honest communication, mutual respect, and emotional support, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate society for all.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because unfortunately society tells them they are weak if they cry. Men are judged for it more than women are.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Men have been brainwashed into thinking they are weak if they cry.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's not so much how guys see it, it's that men get punished and mocked for expressing emotions whenever we do. I remember when Jordan Peterson had a moment where he started crying out of frustration, and all people could think to do was mock him for it.

The man is one of the most psychologically and emotionally in-touch people our society has, and people want to punish him for it.

Same kind of thing with Kyle Rittenhouse crying on the witness stand as he recounts being attacked by 3 men that he had to shoot. This is one of the most traumatic experiences anyone could possibly have; he had it at 17, and all people can think to do is make fun of the kid for crying.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

Men need to control their emotions as an indication they can control themselves, especially when we're needed. People don't need to depend on women as they do on a man's strength- historically we cannot be seen to be weak, otherwise that makes people vulnerable.

As much as women say they want an emotional guy, or want to let guys cry around them, when they see their man cry (unless his family dies) they WILL lose feelings for him. They can't control it, they just do.

So, guys cannot cry.

inhua · Answer

it's just "selective" bias on why they think "crying" is ok or not

the same guys who think it's ok for a dude to shed tears in front of his girlfriend are the same guys ready to other men to stop "complaining" and "whining" and labelling them as "incels" just for pointing out facts

men are expected to power through all their burdens and not make "excuses" even if they have legit setbacks. and people be wondering why the suicide rate is high amongst men. it's not because of "cowardly" behavior like the misandrist media like to twist it as but because society refuses to acknowledge that this is an issue to begin with

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

I think it's because people are vulnerable when they cry. Vulnerability is even more despised than simple 'weakness.' According to the stereotypical macho-man view.

But I don't think it's quite as true as is sometimes stereotyped. It depends a lot on the situation. There are situations where it's not seen as weak by anybody ever (the toughest guy is "allowed" to openly weep if his child dies for an extreme example).

There are some guys who hold more fast to this belief than others. Those guys still cry. They know it, and the rest of the world knows it too. If they want to make-believe... let them. I think this is a view that's slowly dying out, and will continue to.

I think there are actually fewer guys who think this than you might expect. At least, if you can get them to open-up and have a 'real-talk' with you. I think you'd find it's far from a universal belief among guys. 🙂

Anonymous · Answer

Society is very two-faced on this issue. Males are encouraged to show their emotions and feel comfortable crying in front of others, but at the same time they are still judged and penalized for doing it (and always will be). It's a dangerous condition because telling males it's ok to be emotional is setting them up for failure.

Women blame men for this but it's more women's fault than men's. It's a fact that women lose respect for a man who shows too much emotion in front of them, but as a whole women say there is no problem with it and men should feel comfortable doing it, because that's what they're supposed to say. They think they are helping males by saying that, but they are doing the opposite. Men are simply more honest about it because they know the reality of it. Women need to start being more honest about it as well. They are being unfair to men by being dishonest about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Please don’t spread this false message. Based on stats, majority of men are willing to help a stranger female with their emotions while a majority of women DO NOT want to put up with a stranger man’s emotions unless she is paid.
Also, if a girl sees a guy crying as a baby then that man will be viewed as weak. He will be made fun of. We have to accept the realities that as a man we can’t cry. There’s nothing wrong with that. I will never cry in front of anyone else or show emotion because I’m a man. That’s what men do.

mstbooblover · Answer

Well, considering the general human behaviours, women in general do not seem to like men showing weakness. Men do also cry sometimes, but more in private, preferably without witness, or only in very painful circumstances in the presence of very good comprehensive friends.

rabbitzzz · Answer

I cry when there is no body around. Feels better afterwards.

serious · Answer

No, it is not weakness but this looks good only if a woman does it and a man assures her.

If a man keeps crying then it is very unattractive and unappealing and the woman tends to lose respect for the man (eventually)

Anonymous · Answer

Sure it's a great way to release pent up stress. For men, it's also a great way to set themselves up to be shamed.

I cried in front of my ex when my father was diagnosed with cancer and it ended our relationship. I won't go into to too much detail but suffice to say it changed our relationship and ultimately ended it.

Lesson learned the hard way.

lightbulb27 · Answer

It doesn't go well on the battle field... Itshould be ok in relationship, but takes long time to unlearn what we learned.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Damn straight it is. I stubbed the hell out of my toe the other day and some tears came out along with some pretty choice blue words.

Hanrej · Answer

That's how YOU see it. Men prefer to solve their problems rather than break down due to them. The second you allow yourself the luxury of releasing your stress rather than deal with the cause you've indulged yourself in weakness.

Heterosketero · Answer

Because populism conditions us to think this way. But, men also have other ways of venting, fraternity, activity, service.

Berethor · Answer

Men don't cry trope, men are expected to be tough and stoic, not weak and emotional.

Summeroflove · Answer

Not all guys do. Sure there is a extreme to being a cry baby or winey person. But I agree with you.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Probably because a load of women say that mentally weak men are unattractive and mock the idea of going out with them saying it is unnatural.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Because it is outside of death or horrible trauma. Women are expected to be more emotional and as I've seen get over lesser situations quicker, whereas men hold that shit in.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Who knows, maybe their alcoholic fathers back handed them right in the cheek when they did like Endeavor from My Hero Academia. That’s some pretty brazy stuff right there.

Guanfei · Answer

Most, if not all, people who told me that were women. Some bluntly told me it was disgusting, others just tried to use it against me.

Nik1hil · Answer

Its weak, only if a Guy cries . If a Girl cries it's sweet and innocent and adorable

Juxtapose · Answer

Because we get judged for it so we learn stoicism. If I cry it's for a damn good reason.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Lol because YOU women and society would condemn and ridicule us for it. Those who make fun of men who cry are the true sad creatures out there

PatriceONeal · Answer

Your feelings aren't the most important thing. There are higher priorities outside of you and how you feel.

msc545 · Answer

The problem is that when you cry, your vision gets blurred, and you can't see an impending threat.

TrillXHippy · Answer

I’m not really sure why women see crying as weak

Anonymous · Answer

Crying is fine, you just need to make sure no one you want to fuck see's you doing it.

AydenHazor · Answer

Because our society has taught men that any sign of emotions is weak, which is complete and utter bs

Guardian45 · Answer

Because if it happens at an inopportune time it could dangerous or fatal.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why girls see guys crying as weak.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Men do cry, but not in front of women... at least not if he wants to keep that woman.

dolemite89 · Answer

cuz it is weak, men should only cry if someone close to them died.

Anonymous · Answer

Because of their ego's I love to cry and always had, I wish you could hold me in your arms while crying

es20490446e · Answer

Cause we fix shit, not cry over it.

In_Trance · Answer

It depends on what you're crying over

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Because we're not girls

Why do guys see crying as weak?

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