A guy acquaintance of mine wants me to pay him to help me learn the language he speaks. Is he a jerk, or he's just obviously not attracted to me?

[Bethany22]

I recently decided to try learning a second language. I have a male acquaintance/friend (who I'm attracted to) who's first language is that language that I want to learn. I asked him if I could practice talking with him sometime. He said sure, but he said that since it takes away time from him being able to practice his third language with people, he said that I should pay him in order for it to be faire. I guess obviously he doesn't like me back, as otherwise he would love that opportunity to spend time with me for free, right? I guess I should ask a female friend to help me practice that language. I wouldn't mind as much paying another woman for her time (it would feel less humiliating).

[Lliam]

Asking a guy for help with something like that is a tried and true way that girls have always used to get a guy's attention without seeming too forward. You know, play the damsel in distress and make him feel like a big strong man. It plays to a guy's ego.

A guy will usually jump at the chance to spend time with a pretty girl and get to know her in a private, non-threatening setting if he's attracted to her.

So I don't know what his problem is. Either he's not interested in you romantically, or if he gets paid to tutor other people, he might feel that it would be unfair to tutor you for free. Or he might just be the mercenary type who only cares about money, like the kind of guy who doesn't believe in paying for a girl's meal on a date.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, Bethany.

[Jamie05rhs]

You said he's a FRIEND.
Cased Closed!!
Even if you are attracted to him, you're obviously not attracted enough to actually TELL him that. He has no clue. The dude cannot read your mind.

Since he thinks he's been friendzoned, he isn't going to spend any substantial amount of time on you when he could be doing other things to further his life goals.
But making money is a life goal for every man. So he doesn't mind setting aside some time to meet with you as long as he is compensated for that work.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO. :)

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea... this guy's a jerk who also doesn't like you back. Sorry.

Now that doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you. But he's certainly not thinking of you as a potential romantic prospect if he's charging you. He's a jerk though. It doesn't take any of his time up... if he viewed you even as a friend. Then it's just two friends talking.

So... this guy sucks. Forget about him.

[lightbulb27]

wouldn't' say jerk, he's just seeing this as business, he's not seeing or thinking dating when you asked, for whatever reason we don't know.

Maybe he's gay? Maybe he's all about money?

you could take him up on it and see if you like him, so you scratch that itch. He may not have read your mind, depending how you presented yourself.

[AmandaYVR]

So he doesn't like you romantically, and you're also not good friends. It's a business transaction for him.

[LickwidSkie]

A guy that's attracted to you is going to jump at the chance to spend time with you, so I have to think he isn't. I'll also say though that you're an absolutely beautiful woman. His loss.

[Paul_in_Indy]

Are you saying that you expect to receive services for free because of your feminine attractions?

[Bethany22]

If he likes me back then yes, he should see it as a social event simply

[AimeeKyle]

I would say he either doesn’t think of you in a potential romantic manner or he doesn’t think you are interested in him / has a chance with you. Be obvious and ask…. the best way to find out for yourself.

[spartan55]

Of course, why should you have to pay for anything, right? The nerve.

[Mansearching]

You have all these questions. Have you dated before?

[Shy_Steve]

He just wants to get something out of it that's all.

He still might like you it's hard to tell.

[Stevefiveo]

He's a jerk and he is not attracted to you. If he was, he'd obviously teach you for free.

[Christoff92]

He probably wants you to understand him better. I suppose 🤔

[Still-alive]

Yeah i get the impression he doesn’t see you more than an acquaintance

[FunkyMonkee]

More often than not, tutors cost money.

[shortster]

Jerk move. He clearly isn't a friend.

[Tstrbrainer]

Well payment can be in cash or kind 😉