My dad keeps sending money but I don’t need it as I earn enough and he uses it against me what should I do?

[Anonymous]

He send me money but I don’t know how to stop the transactions. I feel like he doesn’t respect me as he uses this as some sort of control and uses it against me. I getting sick and tired of it I’m 30 years old and just want to live and progress myself in life.

I have my own flat and live with my boyfriend and have a degree/job. I feel he talks down at me. He seems to recover my brothers time and says He so busy. But so am I

[noemiii]

My dad did the same! He was a narcissist and used money to assert that he’s done “so much for me in life” so he could continue to abuse me by masking it as being a provider. It’s called infantilization what he is doing to you to make you feel co dependent on him even though you’ve progressed through life. Ultimately, the only way it stopped was that I had to cut him entirely off, which I isn’t easy (well it was for me lol) but you have to set a boundary or it will never, ever stop. Those types of people never learn and will always demonize you for speaking your mind.

[Bee-Hatch]

Start saving it up. Pop it in an envelope next time you're visiting and leave it on the dinner table with a note, just before you leave. Make sure the envelope has his name written big and clear on it.


Tell him you don't need his money. Please stop sending it. You're earning enough because you have a job. And you find it uncomfortable that he's creating a situation that puts you in the wrong, you feel it's driving the two of you apart. If he sends you any further money you'll be returning it in the same way, but will be less likely to want to visit.

[RockyHammock]

Words of wisdom ^

[magiusX26]

is he sending it via mail or electronically? if by mail, is it cash or other? if its mail and not cash (such as a check) rip it up and send the scraps back to him. also if by mail, you could talk to your mail carrier/post master and see about his mailings be returned to sender before they reach your mailbox. if its electronic, you could block his access to what ever account he is sending it to. if its cash, you could send it back to him.

also you could use said money to set up a trust fund/college savings for future offspring.

[AviatorTom]

Donate the money to a local charity and send him a note, each time he sends you money. "Thank you for the money but I'm doing fine on my own. The money has been donated to <name of charity>".

[FeminineHSP]

Great idea honestly. Would be such a surprise to the father.

[normalice]

Talk to whatever bank he makes the deposits to.

[peedy]

Put it all in a separate back account than one day when day when he is trying to use it against you give him the debt card and walk away

[Jackblue]

Donate what he gives you to charity and show him the receipts.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You can forward it to me instead

[Malwi93]

This

[Anonymous]

Save it and went he asks
Hand it over to him

[MementoMori777]

Send it back?