the only time he’s really talking to me is when we’re having sex. I can’t handle friends with benefits emotionally. I get depressed but I also don’t what to leave the situation
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How does one handle a sexless marriage?
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A real significant other or friend would be more concerned with your mental well-being and your well being as a person than having sex. They would want to spend time with you just because they like being around you. What this person your seeing is doing is taking advantage of your fear of loneliness to satisfy his lust's. Friends DO NOT do this, and I'm disgusted on your behalf. Now my advice : do not see this person anymore. The are not your friend and will more than likely try to manipulate you to keep getting what they want. Then join a group or club, it doesn't have to be anything fancy, hell it can just be a random class at the community center. The important thing is that your out meeting new people and filling up your time with something you like. Lastly, (and this is the most important part) I'd suggest going to talk with a psychologist. I get a sense that you have some tangled thoughts and experiences around men, dating and male female interactions. This is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. There are millions of people out there that are in your position. Talking with a psychologist will help you untangle and look through your troubles and help get you where you want to be! If you have any questions or need some advice your free to message me. While my problems are not the same as yours, I've definitely fought with social anxiety and depression before and know what it's like.
then just give blowjobs to a guy... at least your active while still not having to give him something really personal... i have a guy i give blowjobs to he's really not that friendly but at least he keeps me company a few times a week.
This response is not helpful or constructive. A real man would want to build a relationship with you. Not keep you company when he's horny. I hope you find something better out there even if your not currently looking for it.
Sounds to me that what you want and need is a friend not a sex partner.