Is this just insecurities or could something else be up?

[Anonymous]

Background info; boyfriend (34) I am 29, we’ve been together for 3 years. Things happened in our first year that has caused me to have some self esteem issues but we’ve since then worked on a lot and I have been learning to love myself more to repair that esteem issue.

I don’t ask often, but I do like to check in with my boyfriend. I like to see how he’s currently feeling about me, us etc. He doesn’t ever know what to say so he just says “everything feels fine” and then changes the subject. (I know stereotypically guys aren’t good with words, emotions etc) but he is, it’s just he’s only good when he’s trying to apologize for messing up other than that he blanks.

He never compliments me, says anything nice, even when I put a lot of effort into looking nice etc. (not a huge deal but kinda bums me out sometimes)

He will spend 30-40 mins a few times a week gushing about his guy friends, how cool they are, the things they do very well, just admiring and what not (but I can’t get a peep out of him about how he feels about our relationship, or me or anything)

When we watch something, he is over critical of the female actresses. Commenting on how weird they look, their face shape, their body shape, their voice, bad acting etc. He doesn’t say a peep about any of the male actors.

When he’s around his friends or games with them, he’s loud and giggly. But when we game, or hang, he is not as energetic and lively (he has moments but very seldom)

He’s just so more into his male friends, he drops everything for them, speaks highly of them, goes out of his way for them but doesn’t give me any of that effort. I’m not jealous and appreciate he’s good to his friends. It’s just as a collective, something feels off. I always joke “maybe if I grew a dick, you’d take me more seriously” lol.

(by the way, he has said he’s attracted to me)

I just don’t know how to discern if my self esteem is clouding my thoughts or if I’m genuinely picking up on something that isn’t being said.

[Anonymous]

It's possible that your self-esteem issues may be contributing to your perception of your boyfriend's behavior and attitude towards you, but it's also possible that there may be some underlying issues in your relationship that need to be addressed.

It's understandable that you want to check in with your boyfriend and get a better sense of how he feels about you and your relationship. It may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns and feelings. Let him know that you would appreciate more positive feedback and compliments from him, and that you feel hurt by his critical comments about female actresses.

It's also important to consider whether your boyfriend's behavior is consistent with how he treats other people in his life, such as his male friends. If he consistently shows more enthusiasm and effort towards them than towards you, it may be a sign that he is not prioritizing your relationship in the way that you would like.

Ultimately, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly. If your boyfriend is unwilling or unable to meet your needs in the relationship, it may be necessary to reevaluate whether the relationship is meeting your emotional needs and whether it is healthy and fulfilling for you.

[LovingJo]

Sounds very similar to a relationship I've just ended, today infact. 😔
If its the same, then it's because he's just not that into you. But I could be wrong.
I have had the same feelings for a long time and I'm just done with it. I deserve better and it's sounds like you do too!! 💯🫂❤️

[LovingJo]

Thanks for the MHO 😘
I hope you get your situation sorted.
DM me if you want to chat 🫂