Men, how often do you cry?

[Apple1996]

And what is it that causes you to cry?

Asking this cuz y'all always trying to hide your emotions and act like you don't ever cry

[Lliam]

I can choke up and get misty eyed on occasion, even during touching scenes in movies or, if I'm in the right mood, over some music. Touching stories of tragedy or kindness can make me actually cry.

The last time I cried really hard was in December 2019 when our 22 year old kitty died. I had rescued Rose from certain death in the middle of a busy highway when she was 5 weeks old. I brought her one to my new wife, to whom I had only been married for a few months. Rosie turned out to be the best kitty. She was our girl. I really loved her.

I gave a short obituary at my dad's graveside service in 2007. I choked up during that.

I cried really hard when my mom died in 1998.

My wife and I had four other cats besides Rosie. We rescued them all at different times from a shelter when they were older. But they all turned out to be sweet and wonderful. And I cried over each one of them when they died.

The hardest I have ever cried in my life was when a particular girlfriend and I separated in around 1991 when I was 37. Petra was six years younger. She was the first girlfriend I ever loved with my heart and soul. And she loved me.

We lived together for over a year. We went on vacations and did lots of fun things together. She was my vision of the feminine ideal in looks and behavior. She was hypersexual and orgasmic. I had never imagined, let alone experienced, sex like that. But I loved everything else about her, too.

We separated for reasons that are too complicated to explain. But it had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. We were just not meant to be lifelong partners.

When we separated, I constantly felt like I had the wind knocked out of me, literally. My heart and gut ached to the point of sometimes feeling nauseous. There were times when I was alone that I curled up and bawled in pain and anguish. That lasted for many weeks.
The need for her touch, her smile, her voice was like a life-long heroin addict's need for a fix. It actually took me a year to pull myself together and start living again.

[tfan1]

I did just today. My sister came to the house and she handed me a pic and said we have doubles - thought you might like one. I turned the pic over and it was me working on an old tower at her and my brother in law’s house…. and in the chair across from me was my ….. Dad!!! My eyes filled up with tears in two seconds it felt like. She said I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you tear up. I gave her a big hug and said thank you 3x

i don’t have many pics of my dad unfortunately 💔😢. This one I’ve made a special spot in my room so I can see it anytime I want 🙂

My dad died the day After my birthday (mine is 5/22 and he passed on 5/23) from esophageal cancer like his brother before him did.

I’m getting ready to hit 45 on May 22. Ever since he passed away, I just can’t get excited over my own birthday anymore. Because the day after. A great piece of advice for anyone who loses a loved one - if anyone says time heals all wounds - Tell them bullschit! You can see a pic, read a letter or see a vid of them and boom the wound is reopened.

[Apple1996]

Awh that's nice you got a pic of your dad. I need to take more pics of my parents since they are getting up there in age

[Justmeagain1]

Just so all you men know - crying is not a bad thing. All females do not see this as a weakness. When men cry it hits me hard - so wrong but it makes me want to just protect you and your heart it’s like this savage comes out for you. No matter who you are.

[Anonymous]

i mean it's generally a male thing but even i try to hide my emotions and haven't cried in nearly a year...

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Not often anymore, at least I think not. Last time I really cried was after I cut off my ex. She cheated on me and wanted me back. We had the same friend circle so I saw her with her drug addict boyfriend who was non-physically abusive a lot. Tried to warn her because I thought she was better than that. I cut her off and then a year later I got a call from her at a rehab making a fake ass apology obviously being watched by someone.

I had to mute my mic because I started thinking about how it was all sorta my fault and that our connection was gone to the point where she could have called anyone to fake apologize to but she calls me, I promised her dad I wouldn't let something like that happen to her too. Just about never felt that powerless and confused in my life. That was 3 years ago.

The actual last time was literally one tear and it happened when someone who was a mentor figure to me growing up and I got into an argument. That was about 6 months ago and besides a merry Christmas text, we haven't spoken.

[king34]

We don't try to hide emotion for the most part we are stoic by nature. Stoicism is important for a multitude of reasons. Some women are ignorant to this you think that we want to cry all the time but hold it in I probably cry like once every 2 years it has to be something big like a death of a loved one or something. Men just aren't as affected by little things as much as women are, it isn't some tough guy act that we do to try to seem cool the fact that you think that shows your maturity and knowledge of people and world you live in

I can only imagine your having trouble with men in your life, I encourage you to actually learn about and understand men and your interactions and also relationships with men will improve greatly. Instead of filling your head with childish nonsenss and stereotypes. Men are stoic by nature and for survival just let them be and stop trying to dig at it or chang men that are like that your only doing it to relive insecurities and a need for approval that you have deep down within yourself so my advice is work on improving yourself and genuinely understanding men. Or if you so desperately need a guy that's overly emotional go find one there are plenty these days so why bother the rest of us with disingenuous underhanded questions like these. Do better. Good luck to you

[king34]

Whoever left the dumb reaction face under my post you're too pathetic to reply to what I said because you have no response because you know it's the truth but you can't handle the truth, its called cognitive dissonance. Hold that L

[matchrestore]

Not all that often, maybe once a month plus or minus. On Monday it was because of a video appealing for financial donations for a charity that works with youth and family homelessness in my town- there was an establishing shot of a Paw Patrol sippy cup and some toy dinosaurs in the dirt under a bridge. I was setting up audio-visual equipment for their fundraising event, and I had to excuse myself to the restroom while I struggled to stop crying. My son had the same sippy cup, and has the same dinosaur toys. It really got to me emotionally. I know its a drop in the bucket compared to what is needed to solve the homelessness crisis, but once I composed myself I went back into the ballroom and asked one of their staff how I could contribute.

[Apple1996]

Oh no that's soo sad 😢

[Shamalien]

These days, whenever I feel the urge so long as I am alone. Doesn’t make me weak, doesn’t mean I can’t handle my shit, I just know that after years of bottling it up it’s healthier to let it out. One of my exes I felt comfortable crying around and she never thought less of me for it. Another ex I started to crack the slightest bit and she immediately was on the verge of breaking up, of course she denied it had anything to do with that and said she thought more of me for it and actually encouraged me to be comfortable doing that with her, so sometimes women lay these fucking traps and tests for us and we just have to NOT TRUST THEM but trust is the foundation of a relationship I thought? Anyway tl dr some people can be trusted some cannot and this goes for both genders, but when in doubt, as a man, hold those tears back and have a good kundalini meditation when you’re alone and move all that energy through your body and release it. It will make you more powerful.

[Apple1996]

I don't think women are setting up any traps 🤔 at least I'm not lol
And sad you feel like you can't trust anyone enough to cry in front of them

[SnowedIn]

What a great question!

I don't cry often but I don't shit it out when I have to.

Before the pandemic started I hadn't cried in years. Probably almost 15 or 16 years; not since my first child was born and I realized we had to care for this child on our own.

But then after the pandemic some stuff happy to something really important in my life and I cried about it.

More recently I lost a friend and that shattered my heart. Cried for that too.

[Apple1996]

Thank you and yeah the pandemic seemed to make everyone very emotional

[SnowedIn]

Yeah... it was def event based but...

[ohsheeT]

Its just tears. O don't really care what people think of me anyway and that's because they don't know or the thing I have done in life. To be honestni answered a question this morning. And had tears in my eyes when it boils down to it about the only thing I'm afraid of is God if you see me it's because for what ever reason I either loved that person and them meant something to me and I hurt. I will miss them I cared slot about them I could care less about my tear it's not about me it's about something beautiful and special that won't be around to make me smile anymore and it not about crying it's about loving and if I cry it's ok because I'm in pain my hearts broken

[Sixgunsound]

When I was 6 I decided it would be a good idea to jump from a swing at the maximum height and somehow the back of my shirt got stuck in the chain and instead of flying off forward I was yanked backwards and slammed to the ground, breaking my left arm. That sucked. It was one of the most impressive pediatric bone breaks the attending doc had ever seen😁

[Apple1996]

Dang that must have hurt! So glad my kids haven't broken any bones yet

[razelove]

I think the last time was when my youngest kid was born. Nothing gets solved if you're a man and you cry. Anyone who says "it's ok, let it out" will use that against you later. It's best to be a rock, and look into alcoholism or exercise.

It's more socially acceptable to walk around with your dick hanging out as a guy than tearing up.

[Apple1996]

I'd rather see a random guy crying then his dick being out😂

[exitseven]

Yes, alcohol and exercise.

[Anonymous]

About 2 years ago during a EDMR session. I was recalling a deeply traumatic experience in my past.

It’s okay for men to cry PRIVATELY. I look back on the times I’ve done this publicly with deep shame. I just wasn’t able to control it. But I know I got judged for it.

[Apple1996]

It's okay if you couldn't control it. I wouldn't judge anyone for crying in public and anyone that would judge is a shit person. Best to not worry about what others think of you

[Opinion Owner]

There are only a few rare scenarios where a man can cry (funeral, wedding, winning a very hard fought battle in sports, etc).

However a man cannot cry because he feels upset and/or powerless just “feel better”. He has to have a resolution to his negative situation. If he doesn’t he really is judged much harsher then a woman is.

Also the EDMR experience has to do with an ex girlfriend to tell the truth. The one and only one time I ever cried in front her she reacted in pure disgust and proceeded to give me one of the worst insults I’ve ever taken from a woman in my life. Talked to me like I was less than human. Unless a man can provide immediate or near term value to a woman somehow he is expendable.

[BarryLiverstone]

I cry when I:


Attend a funeral or a memorial service
Watch a movie
Suffer an emotional loss
Push myself to the edge at the gym
Get lots of wind in my eyes
Have a laugh riot
Experience something nostalgic


It’s healthy to have tears occasionally for everyone right?

[Apple1996]

Yes everyone should cry every once in awhile

[BarryLiverstone]

Also I’ll say that guys must hide emotions in order to create attraction at times. Certainly we can cry in vulnerable and secure relationships but studies also show that women lose attraction when a man cries in dating scenarios

[David_Jelly]

Very rarely, and it’s cause depends on the situation. Most of the time it’s in the presence of my girlfriend, which is usually caused by something she says (in a good way, she's not hurtful or sexist, she is very comforting and allows me to let my emotions out around her) that hits me deep (again, in a good way, like when she talks about how she’ll always be here to hear what I’m feeling), and if I’m by myself, it’s usually just because everything has built up inside that I can’t keep it down anymore, which to an extent, is what happens around my girlfriend: everything has built up, and she says something that makes it come out. But to answer the original question, I’d estimate I cry around 6-10 times a year

[AaronKrieger]

I hardly ever full on cry and go through the emotions (probably been since December or January).

However, I do get teary eyed often and might let a tear or two go if a sad scene from a movie/TV show is well written or I see something beautiful that makes me happy.

[Anpu23]

Apple, really? There are biological forces at play here as well: www.foxnews.com/.../cry-me-a-river-why-men-and-women-shed-different-tears

Last time I shed a tear was probably when I held my grand daughter for the first time (about 2 weeks ago). It's important to understand that just because men and women emote differently doesn't mean that they don't emote. Men's Emotions And Toxic Masculinity ↗

[Unit1]

I was hiding my pain from the abusive and toxic family. They would only make things worse. Needless to say i fell into clinical depression.

Once i moved out and lived alone with a fair distance from my toxic family i started recovering very slowly: sleeping 12 hours/day, memory loss, sometimes sobbing and when i made more money i got on antidepressants.

The reason includes my childhood, teenage years and early adulthood being taken away just so i can regain my basic human rights one battle after another.

Having No girlfriend or love brought me to tears many times already. I do it alone in my apartment.

I still take antidepressants.

[Leapfrog00]

Ok, this is going to sound stupid, but I'm a writer and I've been working on the third book in my book series. I have this character that has been through abuse, and lost all faith in the world. I

[Leapfrog00]

So, here I am working on this series. I was going to kill this character off, but couldn't. It made me too emotional seeing her go through all this and then just ending her.

[sirderpsalot123]

I don't "act like I don't cry" I'll cry at home, in private (because there is a time and place for everything) if I feel it will be beneficial... but I unless someone dies, or I'm in extreme physical pain, I don't feel the need to cry. On most days, someone didn't die and I'm not in pain...

Do you want us to come home fake crying because we had a bad day at work?

[OlderAndWiser]

I am planning to sing Endless Love to my fiancée at our wedding; I have a female friend who will sing with me. I have started practicing with karaoke videos on YT. Every time I sing it, I think about how happy I am with her and I get tears of joy. if I practice it about 1,000 times, that reaction will subside, and I really don't want to get teary-eyed at my wedding. So, lately, I am practicing every day.

[Anonymous]

I don’t. It isn’t a “macho” thing or whatever bullshit shaming crap women tell us it is like “hiding our emotions” either.
Men simply deal with emotions differently than women. Most women can’t seem to understand that because they do something a certain way it doesn’t mean men do or have to. It isn’t wrong, it also isn’t better. It is simply different.
It is based in biology and survival. If men were overly emotional like women, we would have died off back when we were animals.
Women shaming us for not putting our emotions out there for others to deal with and to get attention from, if like men shaming women for pissing when they sneeze or laugh. Just because your body is different doesn’t make it wrong.

[Apple1996]

Men are the more emotional gender. Emotional doesn't always mean like sadness but also things like anger too.
And women that pee when the sneeze need pelvic floor therapy. That's a health issues not a difference in our bodies

[Opinion Owner]

Having a weak pelvic floor is a flaw in the female body… it is therefore a difference in the body.

The question was not if men were more emotional or not. it was why men don’t cry, which, as I explained, is because we deal with emotions differently than women.

[Apple1996]

It's not a flaw we were designed that way to be able to give birth😂

And sure y'all deal with emotions differently but not to the extent of not crying the same amount. We are all humans with the same emotions. Only reason why men cry less is cuz they are taught to repress their sadness at a young age

[Opinion Owner]

Regardless of your reasoning. It is a difference between us both.

Your refusal to accept logic is typical.
Having the same emotions does NOT mean we have to display them or deal with them the same way, ffs.
It has NOTHING to do with what we are “taught”.
If you were taught to stop being emotional, you’d still be emotional. You can’t help it, it’s a basic reaction you can’t just stop.

It is such a hilarious female delusion that women believe men would act the same as them if we were simply just told we could. 😂

[Christoff92]

When I put down my cat Trooper last year in June. A day before the summer solstice began 😿

[Apple1996]

Awhh what a cutie! Sucks you had to put her down

[Christoff92]

Thanks 😿🙂

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I don’t usually cry. I just sweat through my eyes pretty much weekly.

[Apple1996]

Lol do you sweat through your eyes when your sad? Or just from working out to hard? 😂

[HippieVeganJewslim]

The former. I sweat not from working out, but sometimes when it’s too scorching outside. I live in Africa.