Be brutally honest. Why do men cheat on their girlfriends?

[megzs16]

I'm curious to hear from a man's perspective, why do guys cheat on their girlfriends? Relationships can end so easily over that sort of stuff, so why do they do it?

[Finchie40]

The main reason a guy cheats is because the girl he chose to commit to and give his heart to , starts to treat him like shit , starts to treat him like he is just a convenience, She tends to prioritize everyone else over him and that’s when shit starts hitting the fan , if she starts lacking in the bedroom and isn’t in the mood for sex like she use to be , he will feel she is up to no good and that she doesn’t value him much anymore. What most girls’ don’t realize is sex is very important to most men , Sex is a way we express our love to a girl when sex starts to become an issue and it becomes one sided, meaning she only wants it when it’s convenient for her , or doesn't really want it at all He will start to lose interest in her and pretty much be open to a girl that doesn’t want to withhold sex from him , A girl that makes him feel wanted. Most guy’s will not cheat on a girl that makes him feel valued and wanted and loved period , When she doesn’t hesitate to please him and she looks up to him as her main priority. Most relationships fail because people in general our selfish people , that only really care about themselves , we all have selfishness in us so if You don’t know how to wear your partner’s shoes like you expect them to wear yours , your relationship will more than likely come to an end if you do not know how to remove selfishness for your partner , For a relationship to survive especially these days , both partners have to make each other their top priority over everyone else , your friends your family co workers etc. When your partner starts to feel like they are not your top priority , don’t be surprised when they find someone that does make them a priority. Guy’s and Girl’s cheat for those reasons , I have cheated one time in my life , and I am not proud of it and I have I asked myself as to why I cheated? I cheated because I was in a one sided relationship , She treated me like a convenience, She was always right and I was wrong , she made me feel like I was just a convenience and didn’t really appreciate anything I did for her , She would make constant negative remarks and compare me to other men , she made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for her , almost to a point where I felt she was already cheating on me by choosing everyone else over me, she was a narcissistic pos So I met a girl that was complete opposite of her , that was coming on to me and making me feel valued and wanted , that was saying constant positive things , she loved making me smile , she knew the hell I was dealing with and couldn’t believe how I was being treated by my girlfriend so taking this girl into my arms wasn’t a hard thing to do , because I realized I was with someone that didn’t value me like I valued her , i know I cheated and I know it was a selfish thing to do but that was my answer to end my relationship with girlfriend. I am not going to cheat on someone that loves me like I love them , I can only remove my selfishness for a girl that knows how to remove selfishness for me. I no longer cheat on a girl, if things are constantly bad , I just walk away and end it with her , I am not going to stay in a relationship with a girl that only cares about herself period , I no longer commit to a girl until she can prove to me she isn’t selfish , To me it’s just a waste of time , Basically thank you for a good time but not a long time

[megzs16]

Wow very well said. Thanks for sharing

[Finchie40]

No problem , just something I have experienced and witnessed plenty of times , Why I no longer rush a committed relationship with a girl , Most people change after the infatuation period , we never really know someone’s true intentions , usually in the beginning it’s always amazing when we meet someone new that we think we have great connection and chemistry with, but most times we tend to not look at the big picture and it usually takes time for someone’s true colors to shine. Me personally will only have sex with a girl that I feel is in it for the long haul hoping she comes back for more and more , but sadly that isn’t always the case, so it’s always a 50/50 chance

[MrOracle]

There are several reasons, and more than one reason may be at play, but I'll give you the common reasons.

1. He's entitled. Usually, this guy is either really good-looking or is otherwise really popular (money, celebrity, athletic ability, or just highly charismatic), and so he has endless options with women, because most women desire him. Such guys can get women easily, and women who get with them know (even if they don't admit it to themselves) that he can easily replace her, so the guy will feel entitled to do whatever he wants to do, knowing that she either has to accept it to "keep" him, or she can leave him and he can easily replace her. This is, by far, the most common scenario.

2. She is withholding from him the things he's in a relationship with her for. Obviously this includes sex, but it also includes PEACE, emotional support, and general intimacy/desire. If a girlfriend withholds these things, and some other woman is willing to provide them, many men are going to cheat to get them.

3. For a more average guy who rarely gets attention from women, if he's in a relationship, and it's healthy, and he would normally never cheat, he might experience an attractive woman who, for whatever reason, finds him really attractive and throws herself at him. Such a guy, if he's in a situation where he knows he could get away with it, and is presented with a very attractive woman who is offering him casual sex when he has almost never had that happen, may sometimes, in a moment of weakness, give in to the situation. This is the least common of the likely examples, and also the most likely guy to admit cheating to his girl and to genuinely regret it. It's kind of like finding a bag of cash in the streets, and pocketing it and not reporting it - it's not something that was planned in advance and worked towards, but rather an impulsive decision made virtually in a state of shock.

[Adaeva]

It is evolutionary. Modern society is a flash in the pan compared to the 3 million years of human evolution (the Stone Age) so we still have our Stone Age brains. During the Stone Age the winning strategy was behavior that produced the most living descendants. Also, it only takes 1 tenth of 1% per generation advantage for a behavior to become fixed in a species. Try it. There are 120,000 generations in 3 million years. Therefore, 1.0001^120,000 is 160,000 to 1 advantage. And, certainly, men that had sexual intercourse with multiple women would produce more than 1 tenth of 1% more children.

Men that impregnated the most women produced the most descendants. Therefore, that behavior became fixed in our species. Obviously, men that only had sexual intercourse with only one woman, let alone the more than 50% of men that didn't have any living descendants, lost out in the evolutionary battle and are not our ancestors.

[Spongebobssocks]

Its narcissism behaviour. Its already been proven by research. Just like rape is not a normal behaviour so isn't cheating.. stay away from anyone who has done this. They will come with excuses.. they lack empathy

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Women cheat just like men cheat. Focusing on just men makes it appear to be an issue with men and it's not. PEOPLE cheat, men and women.

2. I suspect that both men and women cheat for the real reasons.

3. If you ask a cheater why they do it, they will tell you their justifications, such as being sexually neglected at home, 'I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing,' etc. Everyone who cheats has a justification that allows them to proceed and cheat without feeling like a 100% ass-head.

4. People cheat because it is exciting, its forbidden, they want gratification now, and - most importantly - keeping their promise to be faithful has no importance to them. They suffer from a fatal character flaw and keeping their promise simply isn't important.

5. If a guy is married, cheats on his wife with Sally, divorces his wife and then marries Sally. . . Sally becomes the next woman who he cheats on. What he has at home is never good enough because cheating is exciting, its forbidden, and they don't keep their promise to anyone.

[blueonblack22]

“ I, I, I'm holding out
Not getting an answer
I, I, I'm finding out that
Cheating gets it faster
I, I, I'm holding out
But not getting an answer
I, I, I'm finding out
Cheating gets it faster”

- Jimmy Eat World

[blueonblack22]

Well there are two types of cheaters: sociopathic scumbags and otherwise good guys who got weak when the perfect storm hits

I’ve met both. Not saying the latter is justified for his bs. He isn’t. But the former doesn’t feel any remorse beyond getting caught. What’s worse is he will get in a relationship KNOWING that makes him more fuckeable to other women.

Women unfortunately find taken men more attractive. Firstly because a taken guy (usually) doesn’t care if other women like him or not because he already can get his needs met in most circumstances. So the fact he doesn’t care activates the female “cat like” attraction for men who don’t give them attention.

But the even uglier truth is some women love the drama of “competing” with other women. They assume that just because the guy is taken automatically means he’s of higher value. However that’s not always the case. This is a major personality quirk women really need to seriously address with themselves. Most men don’t find taken women more attractive. We might feel a stab of jealousy but we don’t let it motivate us to pursue a taken woman.

But back to guys who cheat. There can be many reasons why this happens. None of them good. But usually the guy is a sociopath OR he made a one time huge mistake that he sincerely regrets. The latter isn’t entitled to forgiveness nor is he justified in his actions.

But repeat cheaters are not to be ever trusted and for good reason.

[Stoner710]

Because men want to sleep with women and it’s pre-built into our DNA. I’ve always said they’re the women we want to fuck and they’re women we want as wives. Our girlfriend/wives are the women we want to be with for life. The women we fuck are just that we hit and quit and don’t care about her after words.

This may sound horrible, but I actually think that women cheating is a lot worse than men cheating again. Men can pump and dump without digging twice women get invested into a guy and for her in order to cheat she is emotionally attached to that guy. Guys we can see a hot girl fuck her and not care and go back to our wives/girlfriends because we’re emotionally invested in our wives/girlfriend we’re not emotionally invested to the Radom chick who we stuck our dick in.

[ProbablyClueless]

Usually it's because the woman is caustic in the relationship. Invaliding his needs/feelings, making him feel like an asshole for wanting to have intimacy (emotional or physical), generally being unpleasant and unsupportive when he tries to do things.

If you don't want to get cheated on, the two biggest things you could do to prevent it are to be receptive and supportive of your man's needs, and don't be critical all the time, especially with your girflriends.

That energy will fucking destroy any hope of intimacy you have with a man. He'll pick up on the vibe of what you say around your friends, even if he isn't there to hear you say it.

[Vegasrunner]

@megzs16 You know the answer what you're looking to do is find the rationale. Guys cheat because men's relationship goals are about quantity something you've probably heard over and over. It's difficult for women to accept because their goals are about quality and society only preaches women's as the standard. Men can have sex w/ a bunch of women and still love their man girl women can't and because they fight for equality they believe that men should think like this as well. Therefore we receive questions like this.

[kylee2437]

Because in reality the idea of relationships don’t make any sense especially because after long periods of time, people fall out of love and then fall back in. People back then just weren’t fixated on finding out on if their s/o is cheating or not. Todays day and age and we have so much access and time to fixate on cheating

[madhatters4]

unsatisfied with relationship

horny

disrespectful or unconcerned with relationship

temptation

etc etc

there isn't one reason why people cheat. and of course this do not pertain to only men but women as well (as i've been cheated on by two ex's).

[inhua]

there's only 2 reasons why a man would cheat on his spouse

1) he's a fuckboy/bad boy who's gonna cheat anyways regardless of what happens

2) he's purposely being deprived of sex, emasculated and made to feel unloved and unappreciated and he can't file for divorce because he'll lose half his assets, finances and has to pay alimony and child support so he seeks it elsewhere

[richardcory]

I think there are lots of possible reasons, not one single one. In some cases they may not be happy with their sex lives. In others they have no self control. In yet others, all they care about is sex, so they will take it where they can. In still others they may be so flattered by the attention that the can't bring themselves to say no.

[Rangers]

Probably because their relationship isn't going well and they found a connection with someone else that they want to maintain in the event that his current relationship doesn't work out.

It's a lot easier to do that than to just end the relationship and start completely from scratch, especially if he's heartbroken over the breakup

[Pyrofox]

Often in my opinion its they get tired of the perpetual "I'm not feeling sexy" excuse of not wanting sex. As a result men are like fine if you don't want to have sex cool I'm gonna just bang a girl who wants it. Shrug**

[Anonymous]

Variety is the spice of life. As far as I can tell, when most men cheat it has very little to do with the girl in their main relationship. It's just opportunistic and usually about sexual attraction. I'm not talking here about ongoing affairs--more just one-off cheating behavior.

[ShesRad80]

so many reasons, self-entitlement, because they can, because they are lacking something in the relationship, the excitement of it all just so many reasons

[Declan123]

A few possible reasons

1. Commitment or attachment issues

2. He's unhappy with his relationship and isn't getting what he needs so he looks elsewhere

3. He doesn't care enough about the woman

4. Self esteem issues: expecting the woman to fill the inner void which can't happen so its a never ending cycle of looking for women to fill the void

[mobiusforniner]

From my experience, if he cheats, as in legitimately falls in love with someone else, its because his needs werent met in the primary relationship.

[MementoMori777]

i wonder the same, i just dont see it, it takes a different level of stupid to put it all together to see that there's no point in it, all for a few minutes of fun smh

[Nikki1989]

People usually cheat when they feel something is missing from their primary relationship.

[exitseven]

I only did it once. My girlfriend lived halfway across the country and I met a girl at a party and it just happened. I was really lonely and going through a really bad period in my life.

[AviatorTom]

Maybe because those men don't view it as cheating. The Male body is built to have sex, often, and some men believe that's what they should do.

[SnowedIn]

What @Nikki1989 said. Specifically sex or emotional connection top the list.