Should I be mad at my friend for setting me up with a creepy guy?

[Anonymous]

About 4 months ago my friend was friends with this guy who she worked with and hung out everyday. Supposedly she set me up with him but he was the one who asked about me after seeing a photo of me. So he gave her his number to give to me. She talked to me about him before he knew about me and explained him as being funny.

We finally met and he was okay at first. As days go on he came out his shell a bit. He asked me for some money to "borrow" which was the first red flag. Then after a while he started making sexual jokes about other girls including this friend to me nearly everyday. He's very childish. I told my friend about his childish ways and from what she told me its clear she knew he was childish before she set me up.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are my thoughts:

1. Your friend shouldn't have set you up with someone she knew was childish and inappropriate. Even if she didn't realize the full extent of his behaviors, she should have had enough awareness to know he wasn't a good match for you.

2. Asking you for money so soon is a major red flag and sign he was not a genuine or trustworthy person. Your friend should have been aware of this possibility given how well she knew him.

3. Making sexual jokes and objectifying women is unacceptable behavior. Your friend should have realized this guy's "humor" would not be a good fit for you.

4. Yes, I think you have a right to feel annoyed or even upset that your friend set you up with such a creepy and inappropriate guy. She did not look out for your best interests in this situation.

5. However, I would approach your friend in a calm manner and explain how this experience made you feel. Give her the chance to apologize and do better in the future. She may have misjudged this guy or made a mistake, so an open discussion could help clear the air.

6. If your friend remains defensive or refuses to take any responsibility, that would be more concerning. But having an open and honest talk is the first step to resolving this in a healthy way.

In summary, your feelings are valid given how this experience turned out. But speaking with your friend respectfully yet directly may help her realize why she should be more thoughtful in the future before setting you up with anyone else. Focus on communicating how this affected you, not accusing or blaming her. See where the conversation leads and go from there.

Hope this perspective helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.

[CoolCatMar1]

Yes...