I have my ex-fiancé a family heirloom, I want to reach out to buy it back?

[Twincapersredmomma]

Back ground-

i dated a man for two year in uni- I was young, he was apathetic and abusive- it ended badly. We haven’t spoken in 10+ years.

while we were engaged, I gave him an old military watch that belonged to my grandfather. It was just a cheap navy issued one. Nothing fancy or expensive but it was my grandfather’s.
I want to reach out to ask to purchase it from him if he still has it.
my uncles are squaring up to fight for everything even though they hate my granddad and I’ll likely have nothing to pass to my son.
I was thinking of sending this

“Hi——-

I know it has been many many years since we have talked.

I hope you are well.

I’ve never been one for small talk, so I’ll cut to the chase. My grandfather is not going to live much longer, he is deep in dementia and has other health issues. The fight for few things he owns has already started and basically it’s looking like I will get nothing.

Do you still have the watch of his I gave you? The old military one?

If so I would like to buy it back from you.

I know we hurt each other but I think you can understand why I am asking.

Regardless of if you have it or not, if you will sell it to me or not. I truly do hope you are well.

kind regards

——-“

Updates

+1 y

Update- I sent the message removing the offer to buy

He responded that he will look for it and understands because he lost his uncle to dementia but that he has moved a few times, he doesn’t know what he still has from our engagement time or not.
Though I did note when I had to look him up, his last two profile photos from 2018 and 2021- are both with him in shirts I gave him circa 2009

So I’m holding out a little hope he still has it!

[_Maya_]

First off why would you give away a family heirloom? That doesn't seem smart. Second why would you have to buy it back? It was a gift and not even a purchased one. So why pay for something you didn't buy? How do you even place a value on something that means something personal to you? If he is a halfway decent human being he will just mail it to you and that would be it. I would not start by offering to pay for it.

[Twincapersredmomma]

I was 20 and foolish, trying to make a crap relationship work with gifts because I had a traumatic childhood.
Shit happens and you grow up luckily!

[_Maya_]

That's too bad but yeah don't offer money at first. Hope he grew up and is a decent guy.

[_Maya_]

Hey that's great that he is going to look for it and you don't have to pay for something like that to get it back. Happy for you.

[leahzrc]

Do not go into this weak. This man has had time to think about what he has done. He should hold no resentment or anything against you. Politely ask him if he has the watch you gave him. If he asks why, tell him it was your grandfather's watch and he is very ill. If he says he doesn't have it, lying or not he's an asshole. If he says he has it, politely ask for it. Don't give him any power over your emotions just get what you came for.

[BigDog1989]

You wouldn't need to buy it back since you didn't sell it to him. You just ask for it back, and if he doesn't, you get the cops involved

[NotTacocaT6969]

Do not offer money.


He gives it back or you send your uncles to kick his ass and take it from him.


There might be a chance he doesn’t even have it anymore. It was not a special object to him.

[In_Trance]

let it go.
buy another watch