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I’ve been in many situations now where a guy shows interest in me and something happens and then they suddenly start avoiding me.
What does this mean?
My friends say they like me but don’t want to get attached for whatever reason so they avoid? What do I do?
In my line of avoidance, it's because there's too many real options, I get overwhelmed with trying to keep focus on who I want. The fact that guys have to make these choices and women kinda gotta wait or move on with someone who was faster to the pitch is just messy to me. Women have much less responsiblity in this area. I personally could easily get too attatched to too many women and kinda makes me not want to date. I rather not hurt anyone and I can tell there's a few of these girls who would be really sensitive to feeling "rejected". Seems to me there's just much less decent guys out there. a lot of decent women who deserve so much. They're humble, decent women and eager to love and be loved. Anyway I don't know if that's how majority see it but it's definitely what makes me hesitate. Not great with talking to anyone in general really so adding any sort of guilt is enough to ruin what chances I have and make me want to avoid others all together. Rather work on myself in these moments. Again hope others are less insane about this. But dating is just rough these days there's a whole slew of possible reasons. But honestly I do not see the harm in being the one to strike up conversation as a girl, sometimes it helps the guy get out of the funk I think. Most girls get annoyed or pissed if they feel ignored, helps to always try to be understanding these days.
There can be a whole myriad of reasons for this. His “interest” could of been him just being nice and friendly but not real interest. He could of found someone he liked better. He could really liked you but backed off thinking he needs to be challenge (women aren’t dumping when they are chasing). He could of have had something happen to him in his personal life. You could of said something that really rubbed him the wrong way (e. g. I had one date 2 years ago bring up radical political views out of nowhere for no reason. Instant turnoff.). The list goes on and on.
If he really likes you he will follow up at some point though. Trust me. He won’t wait for you to contact you if he really likes you. Men know they can’t wait for women to make a move in most circumstances. But we also know most women don’t really like being chased.
Sooo many men and women nowadays think that being friendly to someone else means "interest". It doesn't. It means that the person was simply raised properly and has manners, is a nice person.
So really it depends on if he actually showed you interest or if he was merely friendly.
If he was really showing interest then:
He found someone more interesting
You did or said something that turned him off
He found out something about you that turned him off
If he was merely being nice then:
He was never interested to start with
He finds your fixation alarming & wants little to do with you
It is extremely awkward for a nice properly raised person who was merely being nice having people believe they are "interested". And merely being nice people will usually start to avoid the person like the plague.
It means many things
Opinion
32Opinion
From what I see you look like a beautiful girl , so it must be your personality that makes them disappear , Are you High Maintenance? Stuck up? Do you have a negative mindset like nothing is ever good enough? Do you walk around like your shit don’t stink? All those personality traits can push a guy a way and make him think no way in hell do I want to be with a girl like that. Attraction isn’t just based off of looks , what makes someone attractive is the way they carry themselves , if they have a good heart , they like to smile a lot , they don’t dwell on the negatives , they treat others the same way they want to be treated , positive mindset , not very judge mental, have moral values etc. those are traits that most people are attracted to. I see beautiful girls’ everyday , but if she has a shifty attitude , I won’t be interested in her at all. Just because she looks good on the outside doesn’t mean she is good in the inside.
The guy starts by showing interest in you but then stops. Are you sure that he is actually interested? How are determining that he is actually romantically interested? (not saying that you're reading the situation wrong, I'm genuinely asking) Is there something that changes about your behavior before that change happens? Do you start expressing interest in him? Do you react to his interest? Do you acknowledge him?
Many times women forget that they need to reciprocate appropriate levels of interest in men to build relationships. There's a level of participation you need to put in, or a lot of guys simply aren't going to think that you are worth the effort.
It is difficult to say since anyone not involved in the entire relationship can't know enough details.
Usually when I avoid a woman it is because she is interested in a relationship with me but I am not interested in a relationship with her.
It could be for any number of reasons. For example there is one married woman who constantly flirts with me and I know she is trying to get into a relationship with me, but I would not even consider it. So I avoid her because it is awkward.
Sometimes there is something about a woman's personality or behavior that I find uncomfortable so I avoid her.
So it is difficult to say what the case is here, but clearly they are not the one for you so I wouldn't worry too much about it unless you can learn something that might be helpful to you in relationships going forward.
If someone avoids you it's most likely not because they like you. Most people don't avoid people they like. Maybe few do but this makes little sense.
What can you do? A few things. You can attempt to contact the person and ask something like, "Hey just checking in to make sure you're ok. If you're not interested in anything it's ok. I know it's hard to say that to someone, but if you don't mind, please let me know so I know you're at least ok, and I won't bother you. No hard feelings. Thanks.
If they don't reply to some version of what I stated above, then they either are dead or just want nothing to do with you. Then you have to not worry why this is and realize it's better off to move on. You might not have done anything. Who cares? You'll find someone who's better for you.
The other option is just let it be and don't say anything and realize you'll never know why but that's ok too. Someone worth your time won't avoid you.
He is avoiding communication for some reason but don’t make that about YOU. That’s his problem and his personality defect. A man would simply tell you why he may not want to pursue the relationship anymore if you are acting confused. If he’s not behaving as one then don’t make that something wrong with you. It’s his immaturity. In the off chance you did something to put him off- he may think the reason is obvious but I don’t have the facts just your basic question. You are not responsible for another persons behavior and how they behave cannot be “because you did” something. And so depending on the situation- say how you feel and then let it go. “If it’s out of your hands then it deserves peace from your mind too”
Your guy friends say they like you or your friends tell you they like you?
Anyways. Some people loose interest. Have you made a move on these guys? If not then maybe they’ve simply found someone else or someone found them. As well as the fact you could possibly and your fiends be reading the signs wrong and they’re not into you.
Sounds like there is Some rat in the middle. Some jealous girl who told him Something bad about u. Like that u r a sleeping around, or u said Something bitchy about him. Look for the next girl he will date she is probably the rat who said that to end up with him. U r at that age where most of women would act like that bcs its their prime and most r looking for a partner
sorry but i don't avoid people i like, no matter how shy i was. avoidance means uninterested. whatever you did or whatever happened, he is now no longer showing interest in approaching you. find someone else or straight up ask him what is going on.
What happened probably. They showed interest towards you, you showed interest to someone else, they saw it/figured it out/heard it. Now they avoid you and act like "i wonder what happened"
If you like him back then go talk to him.
If it has happened a lot, maybe initially they were interested and somehow lost that interest right away. Its not “fear” that stopped them from pursuing you, but it is our friends job to make excuses for a guy’s disappointing behavior. In reality, guys minds work very differently than ours. You should watch that movie “he’s just not that into you” if you haven’t already. The gist of it was, iif he likes you, he’ll show it. Nothing in between.
It simply means he's not interested in you, could be a variety of reasons. What do you do? Live your life. Let him avoid you if that's what he wants, don't let that affect you.
1. He's intimidated.
2. He lost interest.
3. Someone told him you are now taken.
Could be a lot of things. The easiest thing to do is just ask. Well easiest for me because I am upfront.
It happened to me a few times before. Usually I avoid a girl I liked because she did something dumb that made her loose her value to me. For example I'm into a girl, nothing's official and then I see her flirting with another dude = I quit.
He lost interest? He was turned off? Don't chase a guy like that, never. It's a waste of time. Just move on to another one. Find someone who will not avoid you.
Maybe you should change your nickname to a reverse version which is FoundandLost. Maybe this will reverse your situation likewise.
It’s something about you if it’s multiple guys that do this. What are you saying? What are you doing? Are you pushy?
There is just too much information you’re actually choosing to leave out
Or the more they get to know you they lose interest.
It's called dating apps and there's a plethora of options available. Access to supply is higher than it was 20 years ago, so attention spans are going to be way shorter.
I tend to avoid a girl if I’ve given up on pursuing her. The reasoning could be anything.
He's tired of your shit and doesn't want to interact with you any more. He probably thinks you are a cock tease and/or running a roster. Who needs that shit.
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